Baron Vaughn - Surprisingly I've never really stolen anything. One time when I was really

Surprisingly I've never really stolen anything. One time when I was really young, I was walking down the street, found a GI Joe in the mud, and took it home and I was like, "I got a GI Joe!" And then my great grandmother was like, "You stole that." I said, "What are you talking about?" and she said, "That's not yours." I'm like, "But I found it!" She's like, "But it's not yours, and therefore you stole it." So I just went and put it right back in the mud where I found it.

- Baron Vaughn

source: "Baron Vaughn on getting stabbed and becoming Tom Servo". Interview with Marah Eakin, tv.avclub.com. February 19, 2016.