Jeff Stilson famous quotes

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Funny #Men #Thinking

There's only one thing that separates us from animals: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Animal #Vacuums #Cleaners

Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Jesus #Hate #Team

I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Football #Jesus #Hate

I'm not married. I hope to be someday so I can stop exercising.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Marriage #Exercise #Married

Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.
-- Jeff Stilson

#Couple #Men #Elderly

Books are totally useless unless you take their advice. If you just keep reading them, thinking "that's so insightful! that changes everything," but never actually doing anything different, then pretty quickly the feeling will wear off and you'll start searching for another book to fill the void.

True, a little learning is a dangerous thing, but it still beats total ignorance.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

Men have presented their plans and philosophies for the remedying of earth's ills, but Jesus stands alone in presenting not a system, but His own personality as capable of supplying the needs of the soul.

Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think.

Before one can walk as Christ walked, and talk as He talked, he must first begin to think as Christ thought.

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

Some of my academic friends think Ive fallen from a very special grace.

Indo-European peoples and Semitic peoples are today still completely different... Jews almost everywhere form a special society... Muslims (the Semitic spirit is today represented mainly by Islam) and the Europeans stand face to face like two beings of different species, having nothing common in the way of thinking and feeling...