Bill Maher Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Many people can't deal with unanswered questions, which religion exploits by providing answers, even if they are just made up by someone. This is also why we love TV shows and movies that neatly wrap up everything in exactly an hour or two.”
-- Bill Maher -
“New Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are "same sex" marriages. You get married, and every night, it's the same sex.”
-- Bill MaherSource : "Limbaugh – ‘When WOMEN Got The Right To Vote Is When It All Went Downhill’" by Kimberley Johnson, www.addictinginfo.org. July 4, 2012.
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“I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of those people who didn't go to church, but when I got in trouble I kinda pleaded with God - whoever that was.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“You can always tell when Obama's negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he's missing his watch and his lunch money.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Anything is depressing if you dwell on it. The fact that religion could end the world? Yeah, I guess that could be considered depressing. But considering that there's also a lot to laugh at, I think it's a good balance.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.”
-- Bill MaherSource : Bill Maher (2003). “When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should Be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism”, New Millenium
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“You can't deny that religion has done some good. It organizes lots of anti-poverty programs and soup kitchens and missionary work. But I would say that, first of all, all those things can be accomplished without religion. You can be ethical, somebody who does the right thing without feeling that he has to in order to get his ***** saved in the next life.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.”
-- Bill Maher -
“I don't want to start a movement that mirrors religion. I don't want to create the church of the non-believers where I'm the preacher and we're all gathering together and reciting things.”
-- Bill Maher -
“The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having key deciscions made by religious people. By irrationalists. By those who would steer the ship of state, not by a compass, but by the equivalent of reading the entrails of a chicken.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Whatever good religion has done, it has come at a terrible price.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.”
-- Bill Maher -
“People are either good or they're not. Religion doesn't make anybody good, I don't think.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Denying racism is the new racism”
-- Bill MaherSource : "Bill Maher: 'Denying Racism Is The New Racism'", www.realclearpolitics.com. October 7, 2011.
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“When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“The answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach”
-- Bill Maher -
“I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don't know. And if you don't know - and you don't - just man up and say you don't know. Don't turn to silly stories and ancient myths.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.”
-- Bill Maher -
“In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“Tea Party has now cost the Republicans 5 senate seats. My next donation is going to them.”
-- Bill Maher -
“In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things.”
-- Bill Maher -
“I would wager that the number of civilians that were killed [in] a typical week under Saddam Hussein was probably more than we killed during the weeks we were at war there.”
-- Bill Maher -
“Heroin may be bad, but it sure as hell hasn't hurt my CD collection.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.”
-- Bill Maher -
“To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.”
-- Bill MaherSource : "The Left Grapples With Charlie Hebdo" by Bill Scher, www.realclearpolitics.com. January 12, 2015.
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“It's so easy to demagogue the issue and make someone who speaks out against the internal-combustion engine sound like an insane communist, when the truth is that the internal-combustion engine is the biggest threat to our lives, in terms of what it's doing to our environment and how it's depleting the ozone layer and so forth.”
-- Bill Maher -
“A Republican Congressman, Rep. Chris Lee, was caught flirting with a woman trolling for dates on Craigslist and sent her a shirtless photo of himself. He lied about his age and his marital status. He said he was 39 and divorced. He's 46 and married, though being a Republican congressman, I'm guessing he's really 60 and gay.”
-- Bill Maher -
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“[Being a] conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.”
-- Bill Maher -
“We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.”
-- Bill Maher
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