Chris Rock Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.”
-- Chris Rock

#Two #People #Wages
“It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.”
-- Chris Rock

#Forever #Easier #Shows
“So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.”
-- Chris Rock

#White #Black #Progress
“One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?"”
-- Chris Rock

#Daughter #Daddy #Doe
“The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Letâ€™s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.”
-- Chris Rock

#Children #White #America
“If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!'”
-- Chris Rock

#Basketball #Crazy #Years
“If poor people knew how rich rich people are, there would be riots in the streets,”
-- Chris Rock

#People #Would Be #Rich
“Unlike flying or astral projection, walking through walls is an earthbound pursuit...”
-- Chris Rock

#Wall #Flying #Pursuit
“So, to say Obama is progress is saying that heâ€™s the first black person that is qualified to be president. Thatâ€™s not black progress. Thatâ€™s white progress. Thereâ€™s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Letâ€™s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.”
-- Chris Rock

#Beautiful #Children #Smart
“The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.”
-- Chris Rock

#Thinking #Hair #People
“There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
-- Chris Rock

#Funny #Hilarious #Laughter
“People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.”
-- Chris Rock

#People #Cards #Credit
“My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know â€¦ I donâ€™t really want to get into it, but my mother was sicker than my father. And my motherâ€™s alive. My motherâ€™s fine, OK? I remember going to the hospital to see my mother and wondering, â€˜Was I in the right place?â€™ Like, this was a hotel. Like it had a concierge, man. If the average person really knew the discrepancy in the health care system, thereâ€™d be riots in the streets, OK? They would burn this m-therfâ€”ker down!”
-- Chris Rock

#Mother #Father #Men
“There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I bail myself out with a joke. But it's like trying to do movies where there's a dramatic undertone.”
-- Chris Rock

#People #Trying #Bail
“If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.”
-- Chris Rock

#School #Opposites #Abortion
“Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.”
-- Chris Rock

#Men #Years #White
“Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!”
-- Chris Rock

#Dance #Idols #Judging
“My goals were small. My goal was to become a big enough stand-up that I wouldn't have to do radio. I could sell out a club, which is like 300 seats. If I got big enough, I could sell before I got there, and I wouldn't have to get up at 6 in the morning to do radio. That was pretty much the dream. I had no idea I'd be playing Madison Square Garden or anything.”
-- Chris Rock

#Dream #Morning #Garden
“We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You've got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it's immune to and what breaks it down.”
-- Chris Rock

#Country #Crazy #America
“When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.”
-- Chris Rock

#Four #Bigs #Sheets
“Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.”
-- Chris Rock

#Funny #Stars #Halloween
“I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful.”
-- Chris Rock

#Successful #Next
“Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.”
-- Chris Rock

#Sports #People #Black
“You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.”
-- Chris Rock

#People #Laughing #Needs
“A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.”
-- Chris Rock

#Funny #Boys #College
“Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club.”
-- Chris Rock

#Men #Talking #Guy
“People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad.”
-- Chris Rock

#White #People #Black
“I say everything's about company. A gourmet meal with an ***** is a horrible meal. A hot dog with an interesting person is an amazing meal.”
-- Chris Rock

#Dog #Interesting #Gourmet
“People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.”
-- Chris Rock

#People #Laughing
“A black Christian is like a black person with no memory.”
-- Chris Rock

#Christian #Memories #Black

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