Bernie Mac quotes

  • Whatever success I've had, I always like to top it.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Comedy

  • I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Comedian #Politician #Limitation

  • Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Barbers #Barber Shop #Shops

  • I'm an entertainer and I really enjoy entertaining. I think if you're going to really be what you say you are, you have to really live it, work it, practice it, and think it.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Thinking #Practice #Enjoy

  • When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars - that's heaven here on earth.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Beer #Golf #Ice

  • Only way you can you get upset is when you expecting something.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Upset #Way #Expecting

  • When it comes to raising children, I believe in give and take. I give orders and they take 'em.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Children #Believe #Order

  • Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Wind #Car #Want

  • You have to meet all of the challenges, big and small. Because how you start is how you finish.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Challenges #Bigs

  • America...Do not touch my TV, my DVD, my stereo, my dual-deck VCR. Do not touch my old school, my new school, my slow jams, my party jams, my happy rap, and you better not touch...My James Brown.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Party #Rap #School

  • It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, 'Why am I so black?' And she said, 'Because I'm black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.'
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Mom #Hard Work #Dark

  • I'm not a star, and I don't want to be a star. Stars fall. I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Stars #Jobs #Fall

  • When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je'Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Daughter #Mother #Jobs

  • I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn't changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Years #Cities #House

  • I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Stupid #Shoes #Voice

  • Making people laugh is what I've been doing since I was like four or five years old. I still have a lust, I still have a passion. I don't care about how I look, I'm dedicated to the laughs.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Passion #Years #People

  • My comedy comes from pain. I can't stand to see someone hurting.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Hurt #Pain #Comedy

  • The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Issues #Matter #Comedy

  • As I got older, I got into all kinds of things in the streets - but for some reason, I never got caught up with the gangs growing up. Everybody dug me, man. I never had problems.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Growing Up #Men #Kind

  • I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Names #People #Laughing

  • I hate to compare anything, especially while I'm promoting. I feel that's another disrespect, but 'Ocean's 13' is the best movie I've ever done in my life. No question.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Hate #Ocean #Disrespect

  • I hate to let people down. I was like that in sports and I was like that in comedy. I was like that at work. When I worked General Motors and stuff like that, when I say something, I mean it.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Sports #Hate #Mean

  • I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Gun #Discipline #Able

  • I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself up. I don't do insults and things like that. I don't do it - I'm a storyteller.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Laughing #Needs #Tables

  • I learned hard lessons in life; I had to because I had so much happen: My mother died my sophomore year in high school. The next year, same day, my brother dropped dead. Two years after that, I got married because my girlfriend got pregnant. The year after my wedding, my father - who I had only recently met - died.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Mother #Girlfriend #Brother

  • If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything else.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Laughing #Stories #Bigger

  • I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Comedian #Clown

  • I don't need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don't need any of that.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Needs #Arms #Break

  • I don't have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don't owe you nothing, man. It's what you owe the world.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Men #Hollywood #Stories

  • Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Macs

  • Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Laughing #Red #Able

  • Every time you see a black romance, it's over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Strong #Sex #Romance

  • Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Pain #Actors #Might

  • You don't see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can't play the game. I can't - my tolerance - I know I'm getting old; I'll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I'm getting old? 'Cause my tolerance level is low.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Home #Years #Games

  • I'm an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Jobs #Guy #Ordinary

  • You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Night #Breakfast #Nine

  • I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #People #Guy #Quality

  • Bernie Mac just says what you think but are afraid to say.
    -- Bernie Mac

    #Thinking #Macs