100+ Henry Cloud Quotes | InspiringQuotes.us

source: - Henry Cloud (2011). “Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward”, p.7, Harper Collins

Topics: Moving, People, Leaving, Leaving It Behind, Talents And Abilities

Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

Topics: Goal, Workplace, Persevere

The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that's present.

Topics: Handle

Be Hard on the issue, Soft on the person.

Topics: Issues, Persons

Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as "Taking," you are not getting it.

Topics: Giving, Dating, Give And Take

To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.

Topics: People, Behavior, Natural, Natural Consequences

A leader's responsibility is to cause a vision and mission to have tangible results in the real world.

Topics: Real, Responsibility, Leader

Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.

Topics: Children, Pride, Parenting

Faith goes beyond reason. It goes beyond what you can see. But it is as real as anything you can touch or feel.

Topics: Inspirational, Real, Reason

If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy, and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.

source: - "The secret to making New Year's resolutions stick" by Henry Cloud, www.foxnews.com. December 29, 2012.

Topics: People, Community, Healthy

Endings are a part of life, and we are actually wired to execute them. But because of trauma, developmental failures, and other reasons, we shy away from the steps that could open up whole new worlds of development and growth.

Topics: Growth, Shy, Development, Developmental, Development And Growth

Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.

Topics: Horse, Thinking, Worry, Dont Worry

When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a 'wake' behind in these two areas, task and relationship: what did he accomplish and how did he deal with people?

Topics: Years, Organization, Two

If you continue to blame other people for â€œmakingâ€ you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.

source: - Henry Cloud, John Townsend (2008). “Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No”, p.275, Zondervan

Topics: People, Giving, Feel Good, Blaming Others

God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption.

Topics: Long, Evil, Support, Stance

When we can't hold back, or set boundaries, on what comes from our lips, our words are in charge-not us. But we are still responsible for those words. Our words do not come from somewhere outside of us, as if we were a ventriloquist's dummy. They are the product of our hearts. Our saying, "I didn't mean that," is probably better translated, "I didn't want you to know I thought that about you." We need to take responsibility for our words. "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken" (Matt. 12:36).

Topics: Heart, Mean, Responsibility, Dummy, Careless Words

Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.

Topics: Opportunity, Effort, Brain, Competencies

The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another's boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a wife is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.

Topics: Self, Ideas, Wife

The physicality of a real relationship - one that encompasses mind, body and soul - ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.

Topics: Powerful, Real, Soul, Real Relationship, Mind Body And Soul

People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari - like they're trying to land the trophy.

Topics: Land, Dating, People, Safari

A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.

Topics: Law, Groups, Culture, Infection

In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school, et cetera.

Topics: Real, School, Essence

If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.

Topics: People, Together, Needs

When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.

source: - FaceBook post by Henry Cloud from Mar 03, 2016

Topics: Hurt, Responsibility, Loss, Hard Things, Nudge

The twin sister to autonomy and freedom is responsibility and accountability. You cannot have one with out the other. If someone is given an area of responsibility, not only must they be set free to do it, they must also be held accountable for what they do. Accountability clarifies freedom. In the teams and companies where you see boundary confusion, power struggles, control, over-reaching of one's line of responsibility, you will also see lapses in accountability as well.

Topics: Team, Struggle, Responsibility, Autonomy, Twin Sister

Dating should be a part of your life, not your life a part of dating. There is more to life than finding a date.

Topics: Dating, Should, More To Life

Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Topics: Dating, Masquerade, Shows

When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It's not your problem. It's not your responsibility. You don't have to respond, but I'd like something from you. This frees the other person to connect with you freely and without obligation. When we own that our needs are our responsibility we allow others to love us because we have something to offer. Asking is a far cry from demanding. When we demand love, we destroy it.

Topics: Responsibility, Two, People

Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

Topics: Heart, People, Soul, Heart Mind And Soul

If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.

Topics: Kids, Reality, Parent

Christianity is not about morality. It's about reality.

Topics: Reality, Morality, Christianity

Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.

Topics: Love, Marriage, Responsibility

The human heart will seek to be known, understood, and connected with above all else. If you do not connect, the ones you care about will find someone who will.

Topics: Heart, Care, Connected

Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.

Topics: Couple, Real, Years, Real Relationship

Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.

Topics: Jobs, Children, Reality

A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

Topics: Grief, Loss, Causes, Unfinished Business

Grief is accepting the reality of what is. That is grief's job and purpose-to allow us to come to terms with the way things really are, so that we can move on. Grief is a gift of God. Without it, we would all be condemned to a life of continually denying reality, arguing or protesting against reality, and never growing from the realities we experience.

source: - Henry Cloud, John Townsend (2006). “God Will Make a Way: What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do”, p.210, Thomas Nelson Inc

Topics: Jobs, Grief, Moving

We all make mistakes, but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

Topics: Success, Mistake, People, We All Make Mistakes

The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!

Topics: Trying, Christ, Sinner

You aren't alive if you aren't in need.

Topics: Needs, Alive

Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.

Topics: Frustration, Reality, Facts

When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children

Topics: Children, Sadness, Emotional, Lightheartedness

Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

Topics: Dating, Dying, Sometimes

There is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.

Topics: Hurt, Reality, Differences, Hard Truths, Facing Reality

The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.

Topics: Immature, Demand, Mature, Mature Person

The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.

Topics: Relationship, Issues, Two

Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.

Topics: Practice, People, Dating

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.

Topics: Pain, Growth, Purpose

True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.

Topics: Intimacy, Disagree, True Intimacy

Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.

Topics: Painful, Persons, Consequence, Confronting

The natural response to evaluation is to feel judged. We have to mature to a place where we respond to it with gratitude, and love feedback.

Topics: Gratitude, And Love, Evaluation

To get greater than 100% return on a growth step, give up defensiveness. Defensiveness stifles performance, and destroys relationships.

Topics: Giving Up, Growth, Return, Defensiveness

Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.

Topics: Love, Perception, Age

There is a difference between solitude and isolation. One is connected and one isn't. Solitude replenishes, isolation diminishes.

Topics: Differences, Solitude, Isolation

We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.

Topics: Want

Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.

Topics: Space, Healthy, Champion

If you are building a culture where honest expectations are communicated and peer accountability is the norm, then the group will address poor performance and attitudes.

Topics: Attitude, Expectations, Accountability, Poor Performance

Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is.

Topics: Games, Numbers, People

Whatever's happening today, remember it is only ONE SCENE in a long movie. Don't treat it like it's the whole story. Keep writing the story.

source: - Twitter post from Aug 3, 2013

Topics: Writing, Long, Stories

Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.

Topics: Exercise, People, Perfect

Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.

Topics: Spiritual, Fun, Dating

You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do.

Topics: Attempting, Grows

Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.

source: - Source: tonymorganlive.com

Topics: Essentials, Boundaries, Building

It is true that you get what you tolerate.

Topics: Tolerate

For someone's character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.

Topics: Children, Fall, Character

You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.

Topics: Order, Want, Might

When truth presents itself, the wise person see the light, takes it in, and makes adjustments. The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.

Topics: Wise, Light, Trying, Adjustment, Wise Person

The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us. We write off the person’s debt, and she no longer owes us. We no longer condemn her. She is clean. Only one party is needed for forgiveness: me. The person who owes me a debt does not have to ask my forgiveness. It is a work of grace in my heart.

Topics: Party, Writing, Heart

One of the first signs that you’re beginning to develop boundaries is a sense of resentment, frustration, or anger at the subtle and not-so-subtle violations in your life. Just as radar signals the approach of a foreign missile, your anger can alert you to boundary violations in your life.

source: - Henry Cloud, John Townsend (2017). “Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life”, p.170, Zondervan

Topics: Frustration, Firsts, Resentment, Missiles, Radar

Successful people stick to what they are good at and find ways to make that larger.

Topics: Successful, People, Way

Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.

source: - "The secret to making New Year's resolutions stick" by Henry Cloud, www.foxnews.com. December 29, 2012.

Topics: Goal, Care, You Choose

To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.

source: - Henry Cloud, John Townsend (2004). “How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals about Personal Growth”, p.67, Zondervan

Topics: Doe, Needs, Looks

One of the worst things you can die with is potential.

source: - Henry Cloud (2007). “9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life: A Psychologist Learns from His Patients What Really Works and What Doesn't”, p.41, Thomas Nelson Inc

Topics: Worst, Worst Things, Dies

We need rest not just so we feel better. We need rest for actual creation of what we're going to need the next day.

source: - "The Composition of Integrity - Henry Cloud Interview". Interview with Paul Braoudakis, willowcreek.org.uk. November 10, 2010.

Topics: Feel Better, Next Day, Needs

There's no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

source: - "The Composition of Integrity - Henry Cloud Interview". Interview with Paul Braoudakis, willowcreek.org.uk. November 10, 2010.

Topics: Character, Way, Authority

Being right can never compete with doing well.

Topics: Wells

The business of church is ultimately people. You're trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.

source: - "The Composition of Integrity - Henry Cloud Interview". Interview with Paul Braoudakis, willowcreek.org.uk. November 10, 2010.

Topics: People, Leader, Growth