H. Allen Smith famous quotes

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Monday #Morning #Men

Put it back in the horse!
-- H. Allen Smith

#Horse #Drinking

Personally, I never admired communists because they operate on the theory that human beings are nice people.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Nice #People #Communist

Cats are people, and the sooner the world accepts that fact, the better off the world will be.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Cat #People #World

We believe in healthy, hearty laughter -- at the expense of the whole human race, if needs be. Needs be.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Laughter #Believe #Race

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Passion #Animal #Lists

Hate-on-the-highway is an institution occupying a high place in our modern civilization....The godawful glares that drivers exchange as they pass each other, the mutual hatred between motorist and pedestrian, these manifestations seem to constitute the ultimate in righteous wrath.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Hate #Civilization #Wrath

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Too Much #Moderation #Pencils

Never buy anything with a handle on it. It means work.
-- H. Allen Smith

#Mean #Moral #Manners

Everything will change when your desire to move on exceeds your desire to hold on.

Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it is a good morning, which I doubt," said he. "Why, what's the matter?" "Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of us don't. That's all there is to it." "Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose. "Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush.

Could man be drunk for ever       With liquor, love, or fights, Lief should I rouse at morning       And lief lie down of nights. But men at whiles are sober       And think by fits and starts, And if they think, they fasten       Their hands upon their hearts.

Every morning I wake up and thank God.

Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning? The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you? Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham. What age would that be, Toby? Late twenties? Atta boy.

Because I can’t live without Della. I don’t want to. She’s the reason I get up in the mornings - Woods

Happy insect! what can be In happiness compared to thee? Fed with nourishment divine, The dewy morning's gentle wine! Nature waits upon thee still, And thy verdant cup does fill; 'Tis fill'd wherever thou dost tread, Nature's self's thy Ganymede.

I would say about individuals, A Individual dies when they cease to to be surprised. I am surprised every morning when I see the sunshine again. When I see an act of evil I don't accomodate, I don't accomodate myself to the violence that goes on everywhere. I am still so surprised! That is why I am against it. We must learn to be surprised.

Is it a particularly British trait to so utterly adore truly appalling men, from Tony Hancock through to Steptoe and Alf Garnett, Captain Mainwaring, Rigsby, Del Boy, Victor Meldrew and on to David Brent from The Office. The most deeply adored characters are all simply vile.

He (Jeremy Clarkson) is the last man standing on the beach commanding the glaciers' melt waters to go back