Funny New Years Resolution Quotes:

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

- Joey Lauren Adams

topic: New Year, Holiday, Blessing, Indian Happy New Year, Last Year

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: ‘To rise above little things’.

- John Burroughs

topic: Inspirational, Funny, New Year, Spiritual New Year, Christian New Year

We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential.

- Ellen Goodman

topic: New Year, Years, Drawing, January 1, January 1st

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Indian Happy New Year, Spiritual New Year

The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.

- George William Curtis

topic: New Year, Determination, Years, Christian New Year, New Years Resolution

Every new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

- Ogden Nash

source: Ogden Nash (1954). “Many long years ago”

topic: New Year, Years, Long, Funny Happy New Year, Funny New Years Eve

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: Inspirational, Motivational, Positive, Make Up Your Mind, Inspirational Addiction Recovery

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice.

- T. S. Eliot

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Years, Indian Happy New Year, Prosperous

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.

- John Selden

topic: New Year, Happy New Year, Resolution, Spiritual New Year, New Years Resolution

Celebrate what you want to see more of.

- Tom Peters

topic: Motivational, Leadership, Gratitude, Celebrate Life, Appreciate What You Have

If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.

- Cyril Cusack

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Who I Am, Spiritual New Year, Inspirational New Beginning

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that.

- Judith Crist

topic: New Year, Years, Wish, Days Of The Year, Funny New Years

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since.

- Dave Beard

topic: New Year, Years, Resolution, Days Of The Year, New Years Resolution

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

- Oprah Winfrey

topic: New Year, Cheer, Years, Indian Happy New Year, Another Year

I would say happy new year, but it's not happy; it's exactly the same as last year except colder.

- Robert Clark

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Years, Indian Happy New Year, Last Year

Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer.

- Walter Scott

topic: New Year, Cheer, Holiday, Indian Happy New Year, Inspirational New Year

Ring out the false, ring in the true.

- Alfred Lord Tennyson

topic: Happy, New Year, Rings, January 1st, Spiritual New Year

May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early!

- Aleister Crowley

topic: New Year, Years, May, Indian Happy New Year, Inspirational New Year

What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "sup?"

- Jon Stewart

source: Stand-up performance at RIT, 2005.

topic: New Year, Squares, Years, Times Square, Funny Happy New Year

Dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

- Helen Fielding

topic: New Year, Hangover, Thinking, Days Of The Year, Christian New Year

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

- Charles Lamb

topic: Birthday, New Year, Holiday, Indian Happy New Year, Inspirational New Year

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.

- Farquhar McGillivray Knowles

topic: New Year, Holiday, Old Year, Spiritual New Year, Christian New Year

Let each new year find you a better person.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Indian Happy New Year, Spiritual New Year, Inspirational New Year, Year One, Happy New Year

Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

- Hal Borland

topic: Love, Funny, Life, Indian Happy New Year, Happy New Year

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

- Bill Vaughan

topic: New Year, Fun, New Beginnings, Another Year, Spiritual New Year

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

- Mark Twain

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Science, Indian Happy New Year, Spiritual New Year

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.

- Brad Paisley

source: Twitter post from Dec 31, 2009

topic: New Year, Book, Writing, Indian Happy New Year, Inspirational New Year

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: New Year, Men, Resolution, Spiritual New Year, Inspirational New Year

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

- Oprah Winfrey

topic: New Year, Cheer, New Beginnings, Indian Happy New Year, Another Year

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.

- Jay Leno

topic: Funny, New Year, Mean, New Years Resolution, Funny New Years

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

- Mark Twain

topic: New Year, Years, Friendly, Indian Happy New Year, Inspirational New Year

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

- Eric Zorn

topic: New Year, Honesty, Humility, Spiritual New Year, Funny Happy New Year

Let our New Year's resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.

- Goran Persson

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Time, Another Year, Inspirational New Year

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

- Bill Vaughan

topic: Motivational, Christmas, New Year, Spiritual New Year, Year One

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the years'.

- Henry Moore

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Educational, Days Of The Year, Happy New Year

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

- P. J. O'Rourke

source: P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.138, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Clever, Spiritual New Year, Christian New Year

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

- James Agate

source: James Agate (1946). “A Shorter Ego: Ego 4, Ego 5, Ego 6”

topic: New Year, Years, Doe, Spiritual New Year, Happy New Year

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

topic: Inspirational, New Year, Eye, Indian Happy New Year, January 1st

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining.

- Leonard Bernstein

topic: New Year, Years, Return, Stop Complaining, Happy New Year

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.

- Anais Nin

topic: Inspirational, Funny, New Year, Indian Happy New Year, Spiritual New Year

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

- Jay Leno

topic: New Year, Holiday, Years, Spiritual New Year, New Years Resolution

The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.

- W. H. Auden

topic: New Year, Years, People, Brothels, New Years Resolution

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

- Brooks Atkinson

topic: New Year, Memories, Holiday, Spiritual New Year, Inspirational New Year