Political Humor Quotes:

You subscribe politics to it. I subscribe freedom to it.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Political, Political Humor

Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Political, Political Humor, Governors

It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then.

- George W. Bush

source: "What's on W's Mind? Hard To Say" by Dana Milbank, www.washingtonpost.com. May 5, 2000.

topic: Humor, Political, Political Humor

I am mindful that we're all sinners.

- George W. Bush

source: President Bush's News Conference on Iraq, www.washingtonpost.com. July 30, 2003.

topic: Humor, Political, Political Humor

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

- Will Rogers

topic: Change, People, Insightful, Political Humor, Politics Funny

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

- Plato

topic: Politics, Ends, Penalties, Participating, Limiting Freedom

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

- Doug Larson

topic: Keys, Cities, Giving, Political Change, Political Humor

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Art, Freedom, Political, Political Art, Political History

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

- Plato

topic: Smart, Human Nature, Interest In Politics, Political Humor, Political Wisdom

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

- Edward Abbey

topic: Inspirational, Country, Freedom, Inspirational Patriotic, Inspiring Patriotic

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

- Winston Churchill

source: Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

topic: Funny, Trust, Freedom, Limited Freedom, Limiting Freedom

The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

- Mark Twain

topic: Laughter, Political, Politics, Political Humor, Banquets

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: Funny, Witty, Powerful, Political Humor, Off The Wall

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

- Mark Twain

topic: Funny, Life, Sarcastic, Limited Government, Legislative Branch

The gift of truth excels all other gifts.

- Gautama Buddha

topic: Buddhist, Truth, Philosophy, Western Philosophy, Natural Science

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

- John F. Kennedy

topic: Mom, Mother, Growing Up, Mother Care, Political Humor

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

- Alexei Sayle

topic: Stupid, President, Different, Psychopathic, Political Humor

I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

- Ronald Reagan

source: Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

topic: Funny, Money, Stupid, Political Humor, Political Jokes

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

- Dan Quayle

topic: Witty, Responsibility, Political, Vice President, Political Humor

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

- Dwight D. Eisenhower

topic: Truth, Army, Political Humor, Politics Funny, Funny Political

The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate - you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer - the caps, I guess they're there. But they didn't mean much.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Mean, Discipline, Political Humor, New Hampshire

They have miscalculated me as a leader.

- George W. Bush

source: www.theguardian.com. September 13, 2000.

topic: Humor, Leader, Political, Political Humor

It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

- George W. Bush

source: "Bush, in his own words" by Jacob Weisberg, www.theguardian.com. November 3, 2000.

topic: Humor, Political, Ira, Political Humor

Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Political, Sixteen, Revengeful, Political Humor

I understand religion is a walk, it's a journey. And I fully recognize that I'm a sinner, just like you.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Journey, Political, Political Humor

We should - we will - welcome people of faith into the political process... It is essential that believers enter the arena. Your involvement in politics helps determine how well our democracy works. We have finally learned that government programs cannot solve our problems. Government can hand out money, but government cannot put hope in our hearts or a sense of purpose in our lives.

- George W. Bush

topic: Heart, Humor, Government, Political Humor, Government Programs

As I mentioned we have arrested or detained over 1,000 people here in America to determine to find out what they know.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, America, People, Political Humor

We do not prescribe any prayer; we welcome all prayer.

- George W. Bush

source: Transcript of National Prayer Breakfast at the Senate, www.congress.gov. November 14, 2006.

topic: Prayer, Humor, Political, Political Humor

It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I'd be a different person. And without it, I doubt I'd be here today.

- George W. Bush

source: Speech at Annual National Prayer Breakfast, www.cnn.com. February 1, 2001.

topic: Disappointment, Humor, Political, Political Humor

Our plan will not favor religious institutions over nonreligious institutions. As president, I'm interested in what is constitutional and I'm interested in what works.

- George W. Bush

source: "Bush Speaks at Annual National Prayer Breakfast". www.cnn.com. February 1, 2001.

topic: Religious, Humor, Political, Political Humor

We have set out to promote the work of community and faith-based charities. Government cannot be replaced by charities, but it can welcome them as partners instead of resenting them as rivals.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Government, Community, Faith Based, Political Humor

It is one of the great goals of my administration to invigorate the spirit of involvement and citizenship. We will encourage faith-based and community programs without changing their mission.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Goal, Community, Faith Based, Political Humor

And this is my solemn pledge: I will work to build a single nation of justice and opportunity. I know this is in our reach because we are guided by a power larger than ourselves who creates us equal in His image.

- George W. Bush

source: First Inaugural Address, delivered 20 January 2001

topic: Humor, Opportunity, Justice, Solemn, Political Humor

Together, we will reclaim America's schools, before ignorance and apathy claim more young lives.

- George W. Bush

source: First Inaugural Address, delivered 20 January 2001

topic: School, Humor, Ignorance, Political Humor, Young Life

And some needs and hurts are so deep they will only respond to a mentor's touch or a pastor's prayer. Church and charity, synagogue and mosque, lend our communities their humanity, and they will have an honored place in our plans and laws.

- George W. Bush

source: First Inaugural Address, delivered 20 January 2001

topic: Hurt, Prayer, Humor, Political Humor

We will keep a commitment to pluralism and not discriminate for or against Methodist or Mormons or Muslims or good people with no faith at all.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Commitment, People, Pluralism, Political Humor

I urge all Texans to answer the call to serve those in need. By volunteering their time, energy or resources to helping others, adults and youngsters follow Christ's message of love and service in thought and deed. Therefore I, George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim June 10, 2000, Jesus Day in Texas and urge the appropriate recognition whereof. In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this 17th day of March, 2000.

- George W. Bush

source: The "Jesus Day" Proclamation by George W. Bush, www.pbs.org. March 17, 2000.

topic: Jesus, Humor, Helping Others, Political Humor

There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from The New York Times.

- George W. Bush

source: "Gore, Bush Kickoff Labor Day Tours". abcnews.go.com. September 4, 2000.

topic: New York, Humor, League, Major League, Political Humor

I've heard the call. I believe God wants me to run for president.

- George W. Bush

source: "The Faith of George W. Bush". Book by Stephen Mansfield, 2004.

topic: Running, Believe, Humor, Political Humor

I've got a great sense of where I want to lead and I'm comfortable with why I'm running. And, you know, the call on that speech was, beware. This is going to be a tough campaign.

- George W. Bush

source: "Bush, in his own words" by Jacob Weisberg, www.theguardian.com. November 3, 2000.

topic: Running, Humor, Political, Political Humor

As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Responsibility, Political, Good Citizen, Political Humor

Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.

- George W. Bush

source: "Presidency of dunces" by Jonathan Freedland, www.theguardian.com. April 25, 2001.

topic: Humor, Mexican, Political, Political Humor

Please don't kill me!

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Political, Kill Me, Political Humor

To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.

- George W. Bush

topic: Country, Humor, Fate, Al Qaeda, Political Humor

These demands are not open to negotiation or discussion.

- George W. Bush

source: Address to Joint Session of Congress Following 9/11 Attacks, delivered 20 September 2001

topic: Humor, Political, Demand, Political Humor

To give law enforcement the additional tools it needs to track down terror here at home.

- George W. Bush

source: Address to Joint Session of Congress Following 9/11 Attacks, delivered 20 September 2001

topic: Home, Humor, Law, Political Humor

We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a nation is firm, yet our wounds as a people are recent and unhealed and lead us to pray... This world he created is of moral design. Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance, and love have no end, and the Lord of life holds all who die and all who mourn... Neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor height nor depth can separate us from God's love.

- George W. Bush

source: Remarks at the National Day of Prayer & Remembrance Service, delivered 14 September 2001, Episcopal National Cathedral

topic: Grief, Humor, Angel, Political Humor

In every instance when my administration sees a responsibility to help people, we will look first to faith-based institutions, to charities and to community groups that have shown their ability to save and change lives.

- George W. Bush

topic: Life Changing, Humor, Responsibility, Faith Based, Political Humor

Through my Faith-Based and Community Initiative, my Administration continues to encourage the essential work of faith-based and community organizations. Governments can and should support effective social services, including those provided by religious people and organizations. When government gives that support, it is important that faith-based institutions not be forced to change their religious character.

- George W. Bush

topic: Religious, Humor, Character, Political Humor

It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents.

- George W. Bush

topic: Party, Humor, Political, Political Humor

Really proud of it. A great campaign. And I'm really pleased with the organization and the thousands of South Carolinians that worked on my behalf. And I'm very gracious and humbled.

- George W. Bush

topic: Humor, Organization, Political, Political Humor

The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them.

- George W. Bush

source: "A Charge to Keep". Book by George W. Bush, 1999.

topic: Country, Humor, Yale, Different Backgrounds, Political Humor

We're fighting people that hates our values, they can't stand what America stands for.

- George W. Bush

source: George W. Bush Calls for Action on the Economy and Energy, georgewbush-whitehouse.archives.gov. October 26, 2001.

topic: Hate, Humor, Fighting, Political Humor

Most of you probably didn't know that I have a new book out. Some guy put together a collection of my wit and wisdom - or, as he calls it, my accidental wit and wisdom. But I'm kind of proud that my words are already in book form.

- George W. Bush

topic: Book, Humor, Guy, Political Humor, Wit And Wisdom