Uncle Vernon Quotes:

I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car. Ialso got a bit of Aunt Mary’s laundry and Beau Jack, the dog, peeing on the fence, and a row of potted tuberous begonias on the porch and 78 trees and a million pebbles in the driveway and more. It’s a generous medium, photography.

- Lee Friedlander

topic: Photography, Dog, Uncles, Driveway, Clear Day

Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.

- J. K. Rowling

source: J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”, p.8, Pottermore

topic: Uncles, Stupid, Eggs, Uncle Vernon

Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Daddy, Mad, Gone, Dudley Dursley, Uncle Vernon

And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon. "Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Eye, Men, Well Said, Pushing Back

You can't give a Dementor the old one-two!

- J. K. Rowling

source: J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”, p.37, Pottermore

topic: Two, Giving, Mentor, Dementors, Uncle Vernon

I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying." Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!" Dudley and Piers sniggered. "I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Dream, Uncles, Car, Piers, Beets

Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Aunt, People, Fruitcake, Petunias

The fridge had been emptied of all Dudley’s favorite things — fizzy drinks and cakes, chocolate bars and burgers — and filled instead with fruit and vegetables and the sorts of things that Uncle Vernon called “rabbit food.

- J. K. Rowling

source: J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”, p.33, Pottermore

topic: Uncles, Vegetables, Cake, Chocolate Bars, Dudley Dursley

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. "Make Harry get it." "Get the mail, Harry." "Make Dudley get it." "Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Paper, Letters, Doormat, Uncle Vernon

He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy.

- J. K. Rowling

source: "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban". Book by J. K. Rowling, July 8, 1999.

topic: Running, Dad, Humor, Mum And Dad, Uncle Vernon

Dumbledore raised his finger for silence, a silence which fell as though he had struck Uncle Vernon dumb.

- J. K. Rowling

source: J.K. Rowling (2015). “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”, p.51, Pottermore

topic: Uncles, Silence, Dumb, Uncle Vernon

They run off eckeltricity, do they?" he said knowledgeably. "Ah yes, I can see the plugs. I collect plugs," he added to Uncle Vernon. "And batteries. Got a large collection of batteries.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Running, Uncles, Yes I Can, Uncle Vernon

What's that?" he snarled, staring at the envelope Harry was still clutching in his hand. "If it's another form for me to sign, you've got another -" "It's not," said Harry cheerfully. "It's a letter from my godfather." "Godfather?" sputtered Uncle Vernon. "You haven't got a godfather!" "Yes, I have," said Harry brightly. "He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Running, Uncles, Dad, Harry Potter, Mum And Dad

He [Uncle Vernon] held up the envelope in which Mrs. Weasley’s letter had come, and Harry had to fight down a laugh. Every bit of it was covered in stamps except for a square inch on the front, into which Mrs. Weasley had squeezed the Dursleys’ address in minute writing. “She did put enough stamps on, then,” said Harry, trying to sound as though Mrs. Weasley’s was a mistake anyone could make.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Mistake, Writing, Uncle Vernon

That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand new uniform...As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that if was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Believe, Aunt, Petunias, Proudest Moments

I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon. Hagrid seized his pink umbrella and whirled it over his head "NEVER -" he thundered "- INSULT -ALBUS -DUMBLEDORE - IN - FRONT - OF - ME!

- J. K. Rowling

topic: Uncles, Magic, Fool, Crackpots, Hagrid