Helen Rowland quotes
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The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
-- Helen Rowland -
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
-- Helen Rowland -
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
-- Helen Rowland -
Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.
-- Helen Rowland -
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A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.
-- Helen Rowland -
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.
-- Helen Rowland -
The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.
-- Helen Rowland -
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
-- Helen Rowland -
A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.
-- Helen Rowland -
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.
-- Helen Rowland -
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In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'
-- Helen Rowland -
Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.
-- Helen Rowland -
Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.
-- Helen Rowland -
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland -
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A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.
-- Helen Rowland -
A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.
-- Helen Rowland -
Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.
-- Helen Rowland -
Marriage: a souvenir of love.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.
-- Helen Rowland -
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.
-- Helen Rowland -
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'
-- Helen Rowland -
Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest.
-- Helen Rowland -
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A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.
-- Helen Rowland -
No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.
-- Helen Rowland -
A fool and her money are soon courted.
-- Helen Rowland -
Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.
-- Helen Rowland -
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When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland -
Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.
-- Helen Rowland -
Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
-- Helen Rowland -
A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.
-- Helen Rowland -
The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.
-- Helen Rowland -
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.
-- Helen Rowland -
A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.
-- Helen Rowland -
A woman flees from temptation, but a man just crawls away from it in the cheerful hope that it may overtake him.
-- Helen Rowland -
A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.
-- Helen Rowland -
The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.
-- Helen Rowland -
Matrimony is the price of love -- divorce, the rebate.
-- Helen Rowland -
The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
-- Helen Rowland -
When perfect frankness comes in at the door love flies out of the window.
-- Helen Rowland -
The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.
-- Helen Rowland -
Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.
-- Helen Rowland -
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Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.
-- Helen Rowland
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