Joy Behar quotes

  • I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Stress #Confusion #Creative

  • I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?
    -- Joy Behar

    #Jealous #People #Waste

  • I think it's interesting to me to talk to people who don't agree with me all the time.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Thinking #People #Interesting

  • I think looks do matter on television.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Thinking #Looks #Television

  • I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Intelligent #Want #Rooms

  • I'm Italian, but some people think I'm Jewish because I work the Yiddish. I also work the Italian, by the way.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Italian #Thinking #People

  • Never eat at a Chinese restaurant named Mama Teresa's Trattoria.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Chinese #Mama #Restaurants

  • The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.
    -- Joy Behar

    #People #Feelings #Shapes

  • Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Country #Party #Black

  • What daughter thinks of her parents in flagrante delicto? Yet, my mother, even after years with him, dropped hints such as, 'You know, your father enjoys his matinees.' I never even saw them go to the movies together. What could she mean? All those afternoons, I thought she was upstairs listening to La Traviata, and those high notes apparently were not coming from the radio.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Daughter #Mother #Sex

  • Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Weight #Skinny #Killing

  • I interviewed Ann Coulter when I was sitting in for Larry King a couple of times, and we have a rapport. I like to talk to her.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Kings #Couple #Sitting

  • I don't profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that's my position.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Memories #Experts #Citizens

  • I have a friend who actually told me that she'd rather be dead than be fat. This is a woman who, if I order a sandwich at lunch, she'll order a salad. If I order a salad, she'll order half a cantaloupe. If I order half a cantaloupe, she'll order a cup of coffee. This bizarre contest continues until she's down to sucking on a mint-flavored toothpick. At this rate, her preference for dying over being fat could be a reality sooner than she thinks.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Coffee #Thinking #Reality

  • Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Flower #Voting #Illegal

  • I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Giving #Pills #Needs

  • I am comfortable with myself, and this is how I am. I am not really interested in having an acrimonious fight with somebody.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Fighting

  • Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?
    -- Joy Behar

    #Friday #Black #Racist

  • I want a man in my life, not in my house.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Men #House #Want

  • It's a completely useless emotion - jealousy. I don't go there.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Useless #Emotion

  • Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma, I'm not Jewish.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Thinking #Years #Lasts

  • You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!
    -- Joy Behar

    #Comedian #Three #Bills

  • You can see a lot of politics on a lot of different channels. I'm not interested, really, in talking in some wonky conversation about politics, though. It's not my speed. I'm not interested in the ins and outs of health care.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Talking #Different #Care

  • Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Beautiful #Talking #Getting Older

  • I'm interested in so many different things and I'd like to cover a lot of territory. I'm trying to see my show as the Sunday 'Times.' You have the Arts & Leisure section, you have the Op-Ed page, you have the Book Review... even the Style section has those wonderful essays about relationships.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Art #Book #Sunday

  • Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words, did someone do this to (Democratic Senator Tim Johnson)? ...I know what this [Republican] party is capable of.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Party #Men #Republican

  • Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Fall #Play #Two

  • When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.
    -- Joy Behar

    #People #Microphones

  • I do like talk shows. I'm interested in talking to people.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Talking #People #Shows

  • It seemed like the right time. You reach a point when you say to yourself, ‘Do I want to keep doing this?’ There are other things on my plate I want to do — I’ve been writing a play, I’ve been neglecting my standup.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Writing #Play #Want

  • I don't want to do just a liberal show.
    -- Joy Behar

    #Want #Shows

  • I read the 'New York Times', I read 'The Nation', I read 'Newsweek', I read 'Time Magazine', I read 'Politico', I read 'Mediaite'. This is what I do! I read every day, I have interests, I'm like everybody out there who's watching, who's out there watching, you know?
    -- Joy Behar

    #New York #Magazines #Interest