Ronnie Shakes quotes

Ronnie Shakes quotes

last updated: November 28, 2023

“After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Funny Quotes #Eye Quotes #Years Quotes
“My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Health Quotes #Doctors Quotes #August Quotes
“I always wanted to be the last guy on Earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Lying Quotes #Guy Quotes #Earth Quotes
“Sometimes the unexpected does happen. Once, this exquisite woman fell for me. After we made love, she gave me a check for a hundred dollars. I said, "Honey, I don't get paid for sex." She said, "This is hush money."”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Sex Quotes #Doe Quotes #Dollars Quotes
“A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Funny Relationship Quotes #People Quotes #Mind Quotes
“I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What good would that do?”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Positive Quotes #Thinking Quotes #Copies Quotes
“One question on hospital admittance forms really gets me. "Sex: Male or Female?" Do I want to be in a hospital where they can't tell the difference?”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Sex Quotes #Differences Quotes #Want Quotes
“I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#God Quotes #One Day Quotes #Knows Quotes
“I like life. It's something to do.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Funny Quotes #Aging Quotes
“I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Baby Quotes #Ugly Quotes #Causes Quotes
“I spend money with reckless abandon. Last month I blew $5000 at a reincarnation. I got to thinking, what the hell, you only live once!”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Funny Quotes #Thinking Quotes #You Only Live Once Quotes
“As a teenager I just wanted to fit in, just to be one of the boys. It was tough. I went to an all black school. I went so far as to have them print my negative in the yearbook. I think it was the black teeth that gave me away.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Teenager Quotes #School Quotes #Yearbook Quotes
“Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.”
-- Ronnie Shakes

#Relationship Quotes #Revenge Quotes #Dating Quotes

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