Larry the Cable Guy quotes

  • Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Gun #People #Blame

  • I get so sick and tired of Wikipedia. People write their own crap on there.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Writing #Tired #People

  • Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Smart #Sea #Cities

  • I don't do my show for critics. Early on I did, because I'm a nice guy and I like to be liked by everybody, and I thought, "Hey, I'm just making people laugh, what's the big deal?" There have been all different types of comics that appeal to all different types of people. Why rail on me? But yeah, they really don't like Southern acts.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Nice #People #Laughing

  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Thinking #Laughing #Lasts

  • What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They're really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love 'em; they're awesome. They're good people.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Couple #Funny Things #People

  • I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Thinking #Stuff #Goofy

  • I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you have a big fan base, and I have a great fan base.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Blessed #People #Fans

  • I think probably one of the coolest things was when I went to play basketball at Rucker Park in Harlem. First of all, who would think that Larry the Cable Guy would go to Harlem to play basketball? And I was received like a rock star. It was amazing! There were people everywhere. There were guys walking by yelling, Git r done!
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Basketball #Stars #Thinking

  • Its nice if people can finally loosen up a little bit and just go out laugh at silliness. I mean, people take themselves way too seriously sometimes.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Nice #Mean #People

  • Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Cost #Bucks #Fireworks

  • Every July, I look forward to taping a Christmas show - in July in Nashville. In 98-degree weather. I love it.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #July #Nashville #Weather

  • We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Years #Names #Guy

  • Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Husband #Home #Gun

  • Remember, half the people you know are below average.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Average #People #Half

  • I'm saying, Come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Ice #Age #Dinosaurs

  • I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Character #Men #People

  • I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Parks #Tornadoes #Trailers

  • I'm so sick of gay this, gay that. I could care less. It ain't affecting my life at all.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Gay #Sick #Care

  • I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Cousin #Men #Upset

  • I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Midget

  • I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.
    -- Larry the Cable Guy

    #Doctors #Office #Hemorrhoids