Jack Dee quotes

  • One of my friends went on a murder weekendnow he is doing life for it
    -- Jack Dee

    #Murder

  • I tend not to trust people who live in very tidy houses. I know that on the surface there is nothing wrong with a person being well-ordered and disciplined. Nothing, except that it leaves the impression of that person having lived in the confines of a stark institution which, although he or she has long since left, remains within.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Long #People #House

  • In my local newspaper, they had this advert: 'please look after your neighbours in the cold weather'. I live next door to this 84-year-old woman, and do you know, not once has she come round to see if I'm all right. The lazy cow hasn't even taken her milk in for a fortnight.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Taken #Doors #Years

  • I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Issues #Feelings #Common

  • I had a longing for ritual, something I could cling to, a routine to make me feel well and contented. I hoped that reading Bible commentaries and theological critiques would nudge me closer to some kind of absolute that I could hold up as a torch to light my way.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Reading #Light #Torches

  • I took religion much too seriously, however, and its overall effect was depressing. I would have really liked to discard it, but somehow I couldn't.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Depressing

  • One Saturday in 1984, I walked into my first AA meeting. I went regularly for six years and only stopped when I came to realize my underlying problem was not genuine alcoholism, but depression.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Years #Firsts #Six

  • I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Years #Knowing #Firsts

  • Make lots of money. Enjoy the work. Operate within the law. Choose any two of three
    -- Jack Dee

    #Law #Two #Three

  • I love mixing with comedians when I'm working with them, but when I'm not I don't feel the need to hang around with them.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Comedian #Mixing #Needs

  • The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Rain #Forests #Siberia

  • The film industry is like Anne Robinsonalways on the look-out for a new face
    -- Jack Dee

    #Looks #Faces #Film

  • I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Clever #Hate #Thinking

  • I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Comedian #Comedy

  • I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Cooking #Trying #Curry

  • I was on various anti-depressants, but not for long - I didn't function very well on them. I felt sort of flattened out.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Long #Function #Wells

  • Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Excited #Wells

  • Comedy and tragedy are two sides of the same coin. A talent in one area might also lead to a predisposition in the other.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Two Sides #Tragedy #Coins

  • People who are pro smacking children say, 'It's the only language they understand.' You could apply that to tourists.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Children #People #Tourists

  • Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I'm dealing with it. I wish I'd done this years ago because it's been really helpful.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Years #Wish #Done

  • I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Thinking #People #Cautiousness

  • I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Hurt #Fighting #People

  • But I like going to church. If you've been brought up in the Church of England, it feels like visiting an elderly relative. And I think it's important that part of the kids' education is knowing about the Bible.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Kids #Thinking #Elderly

  • Whenever you're in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Character #Acting #Roles

  • My character, Rick Spleen, is a what-if version of me, really, where nothing did quite turn out right and everything else is still around the corner.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Character #What If #Spleen

  • In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Swimming #Feet #Bricks

  • In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Way #Fitting #Assets

  • If I've inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it's really backfired very badly on me.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Role Models #Comedian #Roles

  • I don't like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don't like you and that's all there is to it.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Blow #Men #Hair

  • Well, I don't ever get excited. I haven't been excited since I got a Chopper bicycle when I was about 12. Once you get older you realise there's always a catch to everything. So when I get, say, a commission to make a TV show, the catch is that you have to deliver something and then the sense of responsibility overwhelms the joy of the occasion.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Responsibility #Tv Shows #Joy

  • I'm not really part of any group or clique or gang because that's always been my nature.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Groups #Gang #Clique

  • Mmmm... the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It's a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, 'You had to be there.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Air #Trying #Matter

  • And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I'm laughing or smiling.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Real #Laughing #People

  • The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
    -- Jack Dee

    #Attitude #Laughing #Comedian

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