Dick Gregory quotes

  • One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Happiness #Helping Others #People

  • If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance, because you don't have the spirit to judge someone from within, you're in trouble.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Judging #Spirit #Trouble

  • In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Country #America #Evil

  • I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don't have choices.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Country #Believe #Thinking

  • I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Hate #Home #School

  • Revolution ain't nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature. So when old folks tell me that they don't understand hip hop and the music is too loud, well I guess it means you're not supposed to be in there.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mean #Hip Hop #Revolution

  • Because I'm a civil rights activist, I am also an animal rights activist. Animals and humans suffer and die alike. Violence causes the same pain, the same spilling of blood, the same stench of death, the same arrogant, cruel and vicious taking of life. We shouldn't be a part of it.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Pain #Animal #Blood

  • I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Years #White #Restaurants

  • America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #America #Giving #Black History

  • Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' "I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #White #People #Lasts

  • No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Taken #Home #Kids

  • Just being a Negro doesn't qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Race #Medicine #Sick

  • We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Book #Thinking #Roots

  • People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Blood #People #Style

  • Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mind #Poverty #Poor

  • When you've got something really good, you don't have to force it on people. They will steal it!
    -- Dick Gregory

    #People #Stealing #Force

  • The most difficult thing to get people to do is to accept the obvious.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #People #Accepting #Obvious

  • If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Eye #Blood #Water

  • If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Funny Sarcastic #Alcohol #Drug

  • Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mean #Justice #Social Justice

  • Martin Luther King taught us all nonviolence. I was told to extend nonviolence to the mother and her calf.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mother #Kings #Taught

  • When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Funny #Military #Army

  • Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #People #Looks #Should

  • I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Christmas #Dark #White

  • Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Love Is #Lovable #Dangerous

  • ...Humans were the only creatures in the world that ate their food cooked. You'd never find a Gorilla frying up some bananas for dinner or a lion charcoal-broiling a zebra steak. Cats don't often run to the oven with a mouse or bird they've captured, and a dog wouldn't naturally prepare its rabbit dinner in a stew.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Running #Dog #Zebras

  • Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #People #Laughing #Very Good

  • My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Belief #Certain

  • When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mom #Mother #Father

  • In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Sports #Country #Voting

  • To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Comedian #Musician #Poet

  • The free man is the man with no fears.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Men #No Fear #He Man

  • [A politician is] a person skilled in the art of compromise. Usually an elected official who has compromised to get nominated, compromised to get elected, and compromised repeatedly to stay in office.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Art #Office #Compromise

  • If you can justify killing to eat meat, you can justify the conditions of the ghetto. I cannot justify either one.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Ghetto #Meat #Killing

  • Wouldn't it be a helluva joke if all this were really burnt cork and you people were being tolerant for nuthin'?
    -- Dick Gregory

    #People #Moral #Manners

  • The jelly-bean eating thug says that national defense is important. But national defense starts at home.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Peace #War #Home

  • Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Believe #Thinking #Records

  • I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Running #Airports #Romance

  • Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Marriage #Political #Promise

  • I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Health #Puff

  • We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Athlete #Class #Citizens

  • It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Law #White #Black

  • I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Comic #Humorists

  • I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Cracks #Fabric #Paper

  • I wouldn't mind paying taxes... if I knew they were going to a friendly country
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Country #Mind #Friendly

  • What price would God demand from the churches for having the audacity to lighten the color of his son's skin, and straighten out his nappy hair?
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Son #Color #Hair

  • I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Kings #Men #Thinking

  • When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Morning #Nbc #News

  • Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can't be all that bad.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Dog #Feelings #Politics

  • When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Athlete #Airports #White

  • I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mother #Father #Oneness

  • ...Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human...
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Dark #Suffering #Pet

  • Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Hell #Fury #Scorned

  • Nature is not affected by finance. If someone offered you ten thousand dollars to let them touch your eyeball without blinking, you would never collect the money. At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Money #Eye #Dollars

  • Civil Rights: What black folks are given in the U.S. on the installment plan, as in civil-rights bills. Not to be confused with human rights, which are the dignity, stature, humanity, respect, and freedom belonging to all people by right of their birth.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Respect #Confused #Rights

  • I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Rights #White #Black

  • Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Baby #Truth #World

  • Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mother #Coconuts #Milk

  • When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Boys #Expression #Insulting

  • You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Lasts #British #Heard

  • The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Gone #Good Things

  • You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Mean #Done #Advertising

  • And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Dance #War #Hippie

  • Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only way we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Baseball #Humorous #Men

  • America is concerned more with the possibility of moon folks than the reality of hungry poor folks.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Moon #Reality #America

  • If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Abe #Stills

  • If democracy is such a good thing, let's have more of it.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Democracy #Good Things

  • Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Holiday #Calendars #Drink

  • America is 5 percent of the world's population and consumes 96 percent of the world's hard drugs.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #America #Drug #Population

  • My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Christian #Mother #Jesus

  • I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Children #White #Black

  • Whenever the dollar is held supreme and capitalistic interests dominate, a higher value will always be placed upon property rights than upon human rights.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Rights #Justice #Dollars

  • Fear and God do not occupy the same space.
    -- Dick Gregory

    #Space

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