Felony Quotes:

And I will make it felony to drink small beer.

- William Shakespeare

source: 'Henry VI, Part 2' (1592) act 4, sc. 2, l. [73]

topic: Beer, Drink, Felony

You commit a felony, it does not matter who you are, you could be deported

- Slick Rick

topic: Matter, Doe, Commit, Felony

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

- Robert Benchley

source: "The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom". Book by Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1958.

topic: Drinking, People, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

Why do all your brilliant ideas involve felonies?

- Kathy Reichs

source: Kathy Reichs (2010). “Virals”, p.125, Penguin

topic: Ideas, Brilliant, Brilliant Ideas, Felony

Publishers are notoriously slothful about numbers, unless they're attached to dollar signs - unlike journalists, quarterbacks, and felony criminal defendants who tend to be keenly aware of numbers at all times.

- Hunter S. Thompson

source: Hunter S. Thompson (2012). “Songs of the Doomed: More Notes on the Death of the American Dream”, p.291, Pan Macmillan

topic: Numbers, Criminals, Dollars, Felony, Gonzo Journalism

I suppose I shall have to compound a felony as usual.

- Arthur Conan Doyle

source: "The Case Book of Sherlock Holmes".

topic: Usual, Holmes, Compounds, Felony

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

- Harlan Ellison

source: Harlan Ellison (1989). “Harlan Ellison's watching”

topic: Stupid, People, These Days, Felony, Illiteracy

The greatest felony in the news business today is to be behind, or to miss a big story. So speed and quantity substitute for thoroughness and quality, for accuracy and context.

- Carl Bernstein

source: "The failures of the press". The Guardian, June 3, 1992.

topic: Missing, Quality, News, Felony, Thoroughness

We have one of our priests in prison right now for his antiwar actions, and three of us in the community are forbidden to visit him because we're all convicted felons.

- Daniel Berrigan

topic: Community, Three, Felons, Antiwar, Felony

Everyone, including Hillary Clinton, knows Hillary is an unsavory and unethical scoundrel, an obvious and accomplished liar and, if America had a real Justice Department that actually cared about serving up equal justice under the law, she would be facing a number of felony charges.

- Ted Nugent

topic: Real, Liars, Law, Unethical, Equal Justice

Although knaves win in every political struggle, although society seems to be delivered over from the hands of one set of criminals into the hands of another set of criminals, as fast as the government is changed, and the march of civilization is a train of felonies, yet, general ends are somehow answered.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

source: Ralph Waldo Emerson (2010). “The Later Lectures of Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1843-1871”, p.99, University of Georgia Press

topic: Struggle, Winning, Government, Political Struggle, Felony

Anything less than the best is a felony.

- Vanilla Ice

source: Song: Ice Ice Baby, Album: Hard to Swallow, 1998

topic: Felony

I think it's easy to stop smoking; it's just hard not to commit a felony after you stop.

- David Foster Wallace

topic: Thinking, Smoking, Easy, Stop Smoking, Felony

The Seven Deadly Sins are a litany of victimless crimes, compiled to distract attention from the bloody felonies of the righteous.

- Robert Breault

topic: Attention, Morality, Sin, Felony, Seven Deadly Sins

I was against felonies when a misdemeanor would do.

- Maggie Stiefvater

topic: Misdemeanors, Felony

There are cases where examinations are admitted, namely, before the coroner, and before magistrates in cases of felony. That appears to me to go rather in support of the general rule than in destruction of it. Every exception that can be accounted for is so much a confirmation of the rule that it has become a maxim, Exceptio probat regulam.

- Sherrilyn Kenyon

topic: Support, Examination, Confirmation, Felony

I think bad taste should be a felony.

- Margo Kaufman

topic: Thinking, Hatred, Taste, Felony, Bad Taste

They [illegal immigrants] broke the law, but it's not a felony, it's an act of love. It's an act of commitment to your family.

- Jeb Bush

source: "Transcript of the 2015 GOP debate (9 pm)", www.cbsnews.com. August 7, 2015.

topic: Commitment, Law, Broke, Felony, Illegal Immigrants

For the rest of your life you must check the box on employment applications asking the dreaded question: "Have you ever been convicted of a felony?" And once you check that box, the odds are sky high that your application is going straight to the trash. Hundreds of professional licenses are off-limits to people convicted of felonies.

- Michelle Alexander

source: Source: www.truth-out.org

topic: Odds, Sky, People, Felony, Sky High

Mental health courts exist because the system has failed. If these people were being treated, they wouldn't end up with misdemeanor charges or felony charges against them in the first place. The very existence of mental health courts is really an indication of the system's failure.

- E. Fuller Torrey

topic: People, Firsts, Mental Health, Misdemeanors, Felony

Let us admit, without bitterness, that the individual has his distinct interests and can, without felony, stipulate for those interests and defend them. The present has its pardonable amount of egotism; momentary life has its claims, and cannot be expected to sacrifice itself incessantly to the future. The generation which is in its turn passing over the earth is not forced to abridge its life for the sake of the generations, its equals after all, whose turn shall come later on.

- Victor Hugo

topic: Sacrifice, Earth, Sake, Incessantly, Felony

To men who only aim at escaping felony, nothing short of the prisoner's dock is disgrace.

- George Eliot

topic: Men, Escaping, Docks, Felony

It is not better that all felony suspects die than that they escape. Where the suspect poses no immediate threat to the officer and no threat to others, the harm resulting from failing to apprehend him does not justify the use of deadly force to do so. It is no doubt unfortunate when a suspect who is in sight escapes, but the fact that the police arrive a little late or are a little slower afoot does not always justify killing the suspect.

- Byron White

topic: Sight, Police, Doubt, Deadly Force, Felony

Publishers are humane men, and rarely commit crimes. Authors, however, are a hardened set, who usually perpertrate a felony every time they issue a book.

- Robert Barr

topic: Book, Men, Issues, Felony

I've never been accused of a felony. I never spent time behind bars except for a few overnight jail times back in the Sixties. [But] I think there's a little bit of a criminal in all of us. Everybody's done something they don't want anybody to know about.

- Johnny Cash

topic: Thinking, Jail, Done, Jail Time, Felony

Little white lies are part of everyday life. If youre in court being charged with a felony, youre probably going to be tempted to lie. Or if your girlfriend asks you if the sweater she is wearing makes her look fat; youre going to lie because you love that person. There are different reasons and justifications to lie; its human nature.

- Monica Raymund

topic: Girlfriend, Lying, Sweaters, White Lie, Felony

I was in the courtroom prosecuting violent felonies for well over a decade.

- Nancy Grace

topic: Violent, Wells, Courtroom, Felony, Prosecuting

Either Mitt Romney, through his own words and his own signature, was misrepresenting his position at Bain to the SEC, which is a felony, or he was misrepresenting his position at Bain to the American people...

- Stephanie Cutter

source: "Government Filings Dispute Romney's Time At Bain". "All Things Considered" with Tamara Keith, www.npr.org. July 12, 2012.

topic: People, Signatures, Position, Felony, Romney

In 1966 the ACS formulated a State Model Cancer Act which was instrumental in the enactment of anti-quackery laws now enforced in 9 states...In California (it is a) felony...The use of unproven methods is also a criminal offense in Colorado, Illinois, Kentucky, Maryland, Nevada, North Dakota, Ohio, and Pennsylvania.

- Jane Brody

topic: Cancer, Dark, Illinois, Quackery, Dakota

For some reason, politically there's a distinction between cocaine and crack. Cocaine is not a felony conviction because it's used by middle class and wealthy people. Crack, which is used by people in South Central, carries a felony conviction.

- Nick Broomfield

topic: Class, People, Cracks, Felony

Sometimes, to help someone you love, you have to commit a felony. But, you don't want to go to prison for that. Hey, dude, what are you in for? Armed robbery? Murder? And then, you have to say, Love. And, that's definitely going to get you, you know, picked last for prison kick ball.

- Christopher Titus

source: "Titus / Private Dave". www.imdb.com. 2001.

topic: Love You, Someone You Love, Want, Felony, Robbery

Millions of people are unable to vote due to felony convictions with the highest rates among black men. People in prison are denied the right to vote in 48 states, and while we accept that as normal in the United States, in other western democracies people in prison do have the right to vote.

- Michelle Alexander

source: Source: www.truth-out.org

topic: Men, People, Black, Felony

The younger you are, the more likely you are to have grown up in a (mostly) lead-free environment, and that means you're less likely to have committed a felony or gotten sent to prison.

- Kevin Drum

topic: Mean, Environment, Prison, Felony

Sometimes, to help the people you love, you've gotta commit a felony.

- Christopher Titus

source: "Titus" (TV Series), www.imdb.com. 2000-2002.

topic: Love You, People, Helping, Felony

Hillary Clinton says nobody should be deported that entered illegally unless they commit a violent felony, which is an argument for open borders and American people reject that.

- Jeff Sessions

source: Source: www.politico.com

topic: People, Borders, Argument, Felony

Our investigation looked at whether there is evidence classified information was improperly stored or transmitted on that personal system, in violation of a federal statute making it a felony to mishandle classified information either intentionally or in a grossly negligent way, or a second statute making it a misdemeanor to knowingly remove classified information from appropriate systems or storage facilities.

- James Comey

source: James Comey's Statement on the Investigation of Secretary Hillary Clinton’s Use of a Personal E-Mail System, www.fbi.gov. July 5, 2016.

topic: Information, Way, Investigation, Misdemeanors, Classified Information

Gross negligence in handling national security is a felony.

- Bill O'Reilly

topic: National Security, Gross, Negligence, Felony

The vampire bible, bound in human skin, written in blood, and full of prophecies that were never wrong. Trouble was, if you read the thing too long, it drove you nuts. Not "I'm having a bad day and feel bitchy" nuts or PMS nuts. "I think I'll commit felony assault on my friends and rape my boyfriend" nuts.

- MaryJanice Davidson

topic: Bad Day, Thinking, Blood, Having A Bad Day, Felony

To suggest that it's OK to assassinate a president, I think is a felony. And I think that it should be.

- Newt Gingrich

source: Source: abcnews.go.com

topic: Thinking, President, Should, Felony

The penalties for homosexual conduct were - would vary from state to state, but they were - it was a felony in most states punishable with prison terms of varying lengths.

- Cleve Jones

source: Source: www.npr.org

topic: Prison, Penalties, Length, Felony

I would say this, I'll go back to those black ladies I was talking about who love them some Barack and love Michelle even more - and by the way, they are not middle-aged anymore, because I'm now middle-aged. So they're a little bit older. As fervent as they were, as excited and happy as they were when I was elected, they had to go to work the next morning. They still had trouble paying those bills. They might have still had a son who was in trouble with the law or couldn't get a job because of a felony record. They didn't stop being grounded.

- Barack Obama

source: Source: www.theatlantic.com

topic: Morning, Jobs, Son, Felony, Fervent

The phone rang, picked up, and the same male voice announced, “Chris Powers." "Hey there, Chris. Are you aware it's a felony to make threats over the phone?" To give Powers his fair due, he got over his shock within a split second. “Try it, asshole. I dare you. My lawyers will have you for lunch.” He clicked off again. I did what any red-blooded American male would do. I called my big, ex-cop ex-boyfriend.

- Josh Lanyon

topic: Ex Boyfriend, Voice, Lunch, Felony

How dare you make my life a felony.

- Sandra Day O'Connor

topic: Gay, Lgbt, Dare, Felony

If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.

- Spider Robinson

source: Spider Robinson (1996). “Deathkiller”, Baen Books

topic: Iron, Felons, Gluttony, Felony

Australia is not very exclusive. On the visa application they still ask if you've been convicted of a felony - although they are willing to give you a visa even if you haven't been.

- P. J. O'Rourke

source: P.J. O'Rourke (2015). “Thrown Under the Omnibus”, p.161, Atlantic Books Ltd

topic: Funny, Humor, Australia, Felony

If bad taste were a felony, every writer I know would've done prison time.

- Steven Bochco

topic: Taste, Done, Prison, Felony, Prison Time

MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

- Ambrose Bierce

source: Ambrose Bierce (2001). “The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary”, p.164, University of Georgia Press

topic: Law, Criminals, Dignity, Misdemeanors, Felony

Good evening. A President who lied us into a war and, in so doing, needlessly killed 3,584 of our family and friends and neighbors; a President whose administration initially tried to destroy the first man to nail that lie; a President whose henchmen then ruined the career of the intelligence asset that was his wife when intelligence assets were never more essential to the viability of the Republic; a President like that has tonight freed from the prospect of prison the only man ever to come to trial for one of the component felonies in what may be the greatest crime of this young century.

- Keith Olbermann

topic: War, Lying, Men, Good Evening, Felony

And as if reporting some felony to the police they let you know you were not John Donne.

- Ted Hughes

topic: Police, Donne, Felony

I lost court cases and misdemeanor juries, but of felony jury trials I was successful 105 of 106 times.

- Vincent Bugliosi

topic: Successful, Trials, Court, Misdemeanors, Felony