Eoin Colfer Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Clever #Would Be #Scared
“A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Technology #Museums #Cds
“You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Imagination #Trouble
“I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Names #People #Tag
“The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something else.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Reading #Over You
“No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Men #Trying #Males
“A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Optimistic #Moon #Looks
“There is no such thing as a happy ending. Every culture has a maxim that makes this point, while nowhere in the Universe is there a single gravestone that reads 'He Loved Everything About His Life, Especially the Dying Bit at the End'.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Dying #Culture #Happy Endings
“Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Men #Different #Looks
“I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Kids #Two #Bed
“Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Who Cares #Steel #Looks
“You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it. This was enough to elicit a deafening moment of silence even in the middle of a crisis, which Orion seemed to be blissfully unaffected by.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Passion #Thinking #Fire
“Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Grateful #Trying #Auras
“Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Lasts #Firsts #Middle
“The name's Bond. James Omar Bond.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Names #Omar
“Foaly twitched his tail contentedly. Genius. No point in being humble about it.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Humble #Tails #Genius
“Boo-hoo. Help me, I'm a girl. What kind of modern woman are you? A smart one.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Girl #Smart #Helping
“Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Spring #Ice #Water
“Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Artemis #Weeping
“Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?" All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Waiting #Hollies #Green
“Don't hate me forever, Arty," whispered Holly. "I couldn't bear that.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Hate #Forever #Hollies
“Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like?”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Doe #Looks #Fingers
“Good. Illegal is always faster.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Crime #Illegal #Faster
“If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Crazy #Winning #Way
“They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Boys #Tunnels #Gone
“We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Idiot #Crayon
“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order Ã la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Children #Order #Doubt
“Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Running #Queens #Wine
“And it's amazing how much noise people ignoring each other can make.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#People #Noise
“Her glare was so intense that you completely forgot she was wearing pink.”
-- Eoin Colfer

#Wearing Pink #Intense #Glare

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