Amy Sedaris Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Girlfriend #Real #Women
“I've never done ***** or slept with people for money or anything.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#People #Done #Heroin
“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Pet #Losing #Sometimes
“I love depressing movies and depressing books.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Depressing #Book
“I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Imagination #Hobbies #Use
“You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Character #Air #Watches
“I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Opportunity #Thinking #Giving
“My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Stories #Fleas #Favorites Things
“I swear I want to be a food model.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Want #Models #Swear
“Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Relationship #Thinking #Doors
“Gift-wrap the framed artwork on your walls and rehang them - what's nicer than a wall of presents to look at?”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Wall #Looks #Framed
“Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Ideas #Imagination #Enough Time
“I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Holiday #Turkeys #Fake
“I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Thinking #Play #People
“If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Fun #Creating #Having Fun
“Iâ€™ve named everything that Iâ€™ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Real #Night #Names
“I have no desire to carry a movie.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Desire
“I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Ugly #Trash #Really Pretty
“I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Cutting #Thinking #Stories
“I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Thinking #People #Large Family
“I live in the moment.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Live In The Moment #Moments
“Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Cute #Thinking #Littles
“Books are challenging and inspirational to me.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Book #Challenges
“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#God #Mom #Easter
“My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Fall #Eye #Phones
“My little brother Paul. He owns his own floor sanding business called Silly P Hardwood Floors and hes really good.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Brother #Silly #Littles
“I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, Ill just try to listen to my friends, and theyll say the same thing over and over again.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Giving #Advice #Trying
“I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Men #Shoes #Feet
“Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Land #Two #Giving
“I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.”
-- Amy Sedaris

#Depressing #Ideas #Going Out

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