David Sedaris Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings”
-- David Sedaris

#Funny Love #Hurt #Real
“Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever.”
-- David Sedaris

#Thinking #Reactions
“I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later.”
-- David Sedaris

#Book #Writing #Years
“I don't like to read anything on the radio for the very first time, because I don't have any notion of a reaction. When I read it out loud, then I get an idea of that, and more of an idea of how to read.”
-- David Sedaris

#Ideas #Firsts #Radio
“Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.”
-- David Sedaris

#Character #Judging #Judge Of Character
“Most people, or at least most of the people that I've come into contact with, would like to be written about.”
-- David Sedaris

#People #Contact
“If you are any kind of an artist, then validation . . . can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway.”
-- David Sedaris

#Artist #Validation #Kind
“What's strange is, the people who want to be in the position are never asked to be in the position. Like, if you don't want to do something, then people really want you to do it. And the more you say, "No, really, I'm sorry, it's really not for me," the more they want to convince you that it is, in fact, for you, and that you'd be absolutely perfect.”
-- David Sedaris

#Sorry #People #Perfect
“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
-- David Sedaris

#Humorous #Mind #Looks
“Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in any way. It's like being at home all day. It was never a goal to me.”
-- David Sedaris

#Home #Goal #Way
“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don't want to get married, it tends to hurt my feelings. I guess what bugs me is that it was put to a vote in the first place. If you don't want to marry a homosexual, then don't. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor's options? It's like voting whether or not redheads should be allowed to celebrate Christmas.”
-- David Sedaris

#Hurt #Rights #Giving
“The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if the script is the same, just the way that I read it is different.”
-- David Sedaris

#Differences #Profound #Different
“I just looked at the pattern of my life, decided I didn't like it, and changed.”
-- David Sedaris

#Insightful #Patterns #Changed
“I don't really do very well when I'm sent somewhere. A lot of magazines want to send you somewhere to do something. They want you to stow away on a ship, or something like that.”
-- David Sedaris

#Magazines #Want #Ships
“Some friendships are formed by a commonality of interests and ideas: you both love judo or camping or making your own sausage. Other friendships are forged in alliance against a common enemy.”
-- David Sedaris

#Ideas #Enemy #Camping
“You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to me like you make the time. And if you have a wife or a job, if you have kids or whatever, you find a way. If you really want to do it, you make the time.”
-- David Sedaris

#Jobs #Kids #People
“At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.”
-- David Sedaris

#Technology #Grieving #Tree
“One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here in England, but no one's going to have a sign in front of their house. Nobody's going to wear buttons. And in France, same thing. In America I like that people have signs and buttons and bumper stickers. Sometimes you'll smile at someone from a distance, then you'll get up close and you'll see their pin, and you're like, "Oh my god. I wasted a smile on you?"”
-- David Sedaris

#Distance #America #People
“.. but all of a sudden theyâ€™re poets, right, like thatâ€™s all it takes â€” being in love.”
-- David Sedaris

#Being In Love #Poet
“I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton of stuff going on in my life that I don't write about. If I need to write that stuff down, I write about myself in my diary.”
-- David Sedaris

#Writing #Character #Thinking
“If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.”
-- David Sedaris

#Diaries #What You Deserve #Deserve
“I think it's good to have the alone time. Well, I kind of have to, because I have to be alone in order to work, so I have alone time. And then I go on tour and I have being-around-people time.”
-- David Sedaris

#Thinking #Order #People
“I sometimes read books on my iPad.”
-- David Sedaris

#Book #Ipads #Sometimes
“I've been keeping diaries for 27 years.”
-- David Sedaris

#Years #Diaries
“Weird doors open. People fall into things.”
-- David Sedaris

#Fall #Doors #People
“I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking.”
-- David Sedaris

#Writing #Thinking #Identity
“I always say to young people, "Get the hell out of the United States." Especially if you're young, like if you're 21 or something. Let's say you don't speak any Italian. You're 21. Everyone's going to want to sleep with you and be nice to you. And the best way to learn a language is to sleep with someone from that country.”
-- David Sedaris

#Country #Nice #Sleep
“Comfort has its place, but it seems rude to visit another country dressed as if youâ€™ve come to mow its lawns.”
-- David Sedaris

#Country #Rude #Comfort
“The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make your dress, and do the flowers and the catering. They've toiled in the wedding industry all these years but were never allowed to do it themselves.”
-- David Sedaris

#Flower #Gay #Years
“The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.”
-- David Sedaris

#Real #Writing #Giving

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