Sloane Crosley Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
More Sloane Crosley quote about:
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“I never asked my mother where babies came from but I remember clearly the day she volunteered the information....my mother called me to set the table for dinner. She sat me down in the kitchen, and under the classic caveat of 'loving each other very, very much,' explained that when a man and a woman hug tightly, the man plants a seed in the woman. The seed grows into a baby. Then she sent me to the pantry to get placemats. As a direct result of this conversation, I wouldn't hug my father for two months.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Okay, this is Fran Lebowitz. She gave an interview once for the Paris Review about trying to write fiction and saying that fiction writers start talking about how characters are talking to them, and it's crazy, she's never had that. And I also thought, I'm never gonna be able to do this, because I didn't feel that for a really long time.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“If you have to ask someone to change, to tell you they love you, to bring wine to dinner, to call you when they land, you can't afford to be with them.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I wouldn't want to live in Berlin. It's bombed out and there's a lot of techno.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“There are two kinds of people in this world: those who know where their high school yearbook is and those who do not.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I am starting to like LA, but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn't have do acclimatize as much as I did to LA”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Our brains are like bonsai trees, growing around our private versions of reality.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I was surprised by how much I loved Portland. It is so wonderfully creative without being artsy. Great food scene.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Life starts out with everyone clapping when you take a poo and goes downhill from there.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Book tours are such a little tapas meal of where I could live.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“No affair that begins with such an orchestrated overture can end on a simple note.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I have come to understand myself as more of a New York writer, or more of a woman writer, but I don't feel like that while I'm writing. But I think that most New Yorkers would object to calling me a New Yorker. I didn't grow up here.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I used to think that nails-down-a-chalkboard was the worst sound in the world. Then I moved on to people-eating-cereal-on-the-phone. But only this week did I stumble across the rightful winner: it's the sound of a baggage carousel coming to a grinding halt, having reunited every passenger on your flight with their luggage, except for you.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“In New York and LA, there is sort of that silent competition to be on the cutting edge of something.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“In every woman's wardrobe, there are certain accessories that cannot be separated from their back stories.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I felt like I wasn't doing justice to either side of my life. It wasn't pronounced. Publicity is an awkward thing to do. It is awkward to call people up all the time and ask them for things on a very basic level.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I was diagnosed with a severe temporal spatial deficit, a learning disability that means I have zero spatial relations skills. It was official: I was a genius trapped in an idiot's body.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I think humor is the social use. You can put anything in it. I think - yes, I speak heavily in analogies - it is like putting the medicine in apple sauce or a block of cheese for a dog. Not that anyone in this room is a dog in this scenario.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I thought I was going to write fiction but I fell backwards into non-fiction. It started when I got locked out of two apartments in one day and I told the story to some friends, one of whom worked in the 'Village Voice' and asked me to turn it into an essay.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Working on an essay versus a novel is like the difference between seeing to that curtain and seeing to New Jersey.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I do want to get married. It's a nice idea. Though I think husbands are like tattoos--you should wait until you come across something you want on your body for the rest of your life instead of just wandering into a tattoo parlor on some idle Sunday and saying, 'I feel like I should have one of these suckers by now. I'll take a thorny rose and a "MOM" anchor, please. No, not that one--the big one.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I have nothing against Canada. I think that Canadians might know the secret to all existence, but to us it just comes off as timid and kind and too nice, and it strikes us as lacking edge. Unless you are hijacking someone and going on a reality show with your eight kids and wearing a velour pink pantsuit, then you have no edge to us.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Ah, the power of two. There's nothing quite like it. Especially when it comes to paying utility bills, parenting, cooking elaborate meals, purchasing a grown-up bed, jumping rope and lifting heavy machinery. The world favours pairs. Who wants to waste the wood building an ark for singletons?”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“Our culture's obsession with vintage objects has rendered us unable to separate history from nostalgia. People want heart. They want a chaser of emotion with their aesthetics.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I got out on the street and started crying the kind of hysterical tears made justifiable only by turning off one’s cell phone, putting it to the ear, and pretending to be told of a death in the family.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“But now my problems had been set loose. They could be anywhere at any time and I was just like everyone else I knew: almost positive that there was something profoundly and undiagnosably wrong with me.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I was taught that candles are like house cats - domesticated versions of something wild and dangerous. There's no way to know how much of that killer instinct lurks in the darkness. I used to think the house-burning paranoia was the result of some upper-middle-class fear regarding the potential destruction of a half-million-dollar Westchester house the size of a matchbox. But then I realized the fear stemmed from something far less complex: we're not used to fire. Candles are a staple of the Judaic existence and, like many suburban residents before us, we're pretty bad Jews.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“I called my mother immediately to inform her that she was a bad parent. "I can't believe you let us watch this. We ate dinner in front of this." "Everyone watched Twin Peaks," was her response. "So, if everyone jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it, too?" "Don't be silly," she laughed, "of course I would, honey. There'd be no one left on the planet. It would be a very lonely place.”
-- Sloane Crosley -
“We all deserve to be congratulated, but sadly that would mean there's no one left to do the congratulating.”
-- Sloane Crosley
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