Oscar Levant quotes

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
-- Oscar Levant

#Funny #Flower #Humorous

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.
-- Oscar Levant

#Funny #Humility #Pride

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.
-- Oscar Levant

#Dining #Schizophrenia #Beats

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
-- Oscar Levant

#Humorous #Differences #Greed

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.
-- Oscar Levant

#Pride #Two #Two Sides

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
-- Oscar Levant

#Funny #Sarcastic #Loneliness

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
-- Oscar Levant

#Men #Bridges #Double Standard

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
-- Oscar Levant

#Inspirational #Funny #Depression

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
-- Oscar Levant

#Men #Chaos #Study

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
-- Oscar Levant

#Drinking #Envy #People

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
-- Oscar Levant

#Funny #Depressing #Patient

So little time and so little to do.
-- Oscar Levant

#Time #Work #Littles

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
-- Oscar Levant

#Character #Luck #Enormous

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.
-- Oscar Levant

#Selfish #Reading #Book

You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)
-- Oscar Levant

#Trying #Movement #Oscars

My psychiatrist once said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'.
-- Oscar Levant

#Said #Psychiatrist

When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
-- Oscar Levant

#Book #Sleep

I'm a concert pianist, that's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment.
-- Oscar Levant

#Way #Moments #Pretentious

It'd be nice to please everyone but I thought it would be more interesting to have a point of view.
-- Oscar Levant

#Nice #Views #Interesting

I'm a self-made man. Who else would help?
-- Oscar Levant

#Men #Self #Helping

[Madame Nhu was] the Sandra Dee of South Vietnam. If I were cast on a desert island with her, I would quickly make friends with the natives.
-- Oscar Levant

#Government #Islands #Desert

George, if you had to do it all over, would you fall in love with yourself again?
-- Oscar Levant

#Falling In Love #Art #Love You

Debbie Reynolds is as wistful as an iron foundry.
-- Oscar Levant

#Art #Iron #Entertainment

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.
-- Oscar Levant

#Thinking #Firsts #Form

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.
-- Oscar Levant

#Dori #Virgins

Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. - On Dwight D. Eisenhower
-- Oscar Levant

#Mind #Dwight #Indecision

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
-- Oscar Levant

#Inspirational #Happiness #Memories

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.
-- Oscar Levant

#Inspirational #Real #Hollywood

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
-- Oscar Levant

#Mind #Indecision

In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
-- Oscar Levant

#Rare Moments #Impossible #Odd

It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.
-- Oscar Levant

#Hurt #Regret

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
-- Oscar Levant

#Funny #Witty #Names

I am no more humble than my talents require.
-- Oscar Levant

#Humble #Talent

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.
-- Oscar Levant

#Drinking #Feel Good #Drink

I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me
-- Oscar Levant

#Hate #Controversial #Hate Me

I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.
-- Oscar Levant

#Reviews

Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
-- Oscar Levant

#Arthur

Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant

#Husband #Lovely #Persons

An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.
-- Oscar Levant

#Wise #Carnegie #Carnegie Hall

I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.
-- Oscar Levant

#Unsympathetic

I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
-- Oscar Levant

#Play #Piano #Attractive

My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
-- Oscar Levant

#Sea #Romance #Lasts

Ballet is the fairies baseball.
-- Oscar Levant

#Baseball #Ballet #Fairy

I could never have a mistress, because I couldn't bear to tell the story of my life all over again.
-- Oscar Levant

#Mistress #Stories #Bears

When I appeared before the draft board examiner during World War II, he asked me if I thought I could kill. "I don't know about strangers," I replied, "but friends, certainly."
-- Oscar Levant

#Friends #War #World

Self-pity - it's the only pity that counts.
-- Oscar Levant

#Self #Self Pity #Pity