Fred Allen Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
-- Fred Allen

#Funny #Sarcastic #Anger
“Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.”
-- Fred Allen

#Business #Treats #Partners
“I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”
-- Fred Allen

#Graduation #Education #Laughter
“Imitation is the sincerest form of television.”
-- Fred Allen

#Witty #Powerful #Humorous
“Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.”
-- Fred Allen

#Heart #Two #Gnats
“What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.”
-- Fred Allen

#Inspirational #Sarcastic #Sarcasm
“An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.”
-- Fred Allen

#Business #Agency #Confusion
“It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.”
-- Fred Allen

#Laughter #Down And #Hips
“If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard- let him worry about cutting it.”
-- Fred Allen

#Uplifting #Cutting #Worry
“Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.”
-- Fred Allen

#People #Watches #Television
“Television is the triumph of machine over people.”
-- Fred Allen

#People #Triumph #Machines
“Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.”
-- Fred Allen

#Sarcastic #Men #Should
“I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.”
-- Fred Allen

#Family #Tree #Looks
“If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.”
-- Fred Allen

#Criticism #Would Be #Harm
“The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”
-- Fred Allen

#Funny #Clever #Two
“A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.”
-- Fred Allen

#Work #Groups #Unnecessary
“California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.”
-- Fred Allen

#Funny #Laughter #California
“Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.”
-- Fred Allen

#Technology #Done #Television
“A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.”
-- Fred Allen

#Funny #Hard Work #Dark
“A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.”
-- Fred Allen

#Skins #Stories #Humans
“Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.”
-- Fred Allen

#Funny #Failure #Sunday
“I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.”
-- Fred Allen

#Easter #Home #Kids
“The world is a grindstone and life is your nose”
-- Fred Allen

#Life Sucks #Noses #World
“Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.”
-- Fred Allen

#Stars #Pride #Church
“Radio is called a medium because it is rare that anything is well done.”
-- Fred Allen

#Done #Radio #Mediums
“Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.”
-- Fred Allen

#Stars #Mistake #Iowa
“It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals.”
-- Fred Allen

#Love #Stay Strong #Goal
“An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.”
-- Fred Allen

#Income #Way #Lists
“The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.”
-- Fred Allen

#Men #Space #World
“If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.”
-- Fred Allen

#Race #Membership #Fees

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