Red Skelton Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
-
“Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”
-- Red Skelton -
“Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.”
-- Red Skelton -
“All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.”
-- Red SkeltonSource : "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.
-
“Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.”
-- Red SkeltonSource : "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
-
“I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.”
-- Red Skelton -
“God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.”
-- Red Skelton -
“No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.”
-- Red Skelton -
“My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin”
-- Red Skelton -
“Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I just want to be known as a clown, because to me that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything—sing, dance and above all, make people laugh.”
-- Red Skelton -
“Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.”
-- Red Skelton -
“She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always”
-- Red Skelton -
“Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap”
-- Red Skelton -
“I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I have a sixth sense, but not the other five. If I wasn't making money, they'd put me away.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.”
-- Red Skelton -
“I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.”
-- Red Skelton -
“There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.”
-- Red Skelton -
-
“I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.”
-- Red Skelton -
“Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce”
-- Red Skelton
You may also like:
-
Andrew Dice Clay
Comedian -
Arlene Dahl
Actress -
Bob Hope
Comedian -
Danny Thomas
Comedian -
Eleanor Powell
Film actress -
Esther Williams
Swimmer -
Fred Astaire
Dancer -
George Burns
Comedian -
George Gobel
Comedian -
Jack Benny
Comedian -
Jackie Gleason
Comedian -
Jerry Lewis
Comedian -
Johnny Carson
Host -
Jonathan Winters
Comedian -
Lucille Ball
Comedienne -
Milton Berle
Comedian -
Ricardo Montalban
Film actor -
Vera-Ellen
Film actress -
Walter Matthau
Actor -
Ed Sullivan
Television personality