Humour quotes

I like to always have humour in whatever I do.
-- Adam Brody

#Humour

Every culture loves scatological humour. That's always a favourite.
-- Alex D. Linz

#Culture #Favourite #Humour

EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.
-- Ambrose Bierce

#Science #Function #Humour

HOMÅ’OPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
-- Ambrose Bierce

#Science #Medical #Humour

Apparently, I have a totally different sense of humour.
-- Andrew Eldritch

#Different #Humour

Contrary to my image, I do have a sense of humour.
-- Andy Murray

#Humour

What is done cannot be undone, but one can prevent it happening again
-- Anne Frank

#Done #Undone #Humour

Only six need be attempted.
-- Bertrand Russell

#Needs #Six #Humour

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
-- Billy Crystal

#Feet #Humour #Feels Right

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour.
-- Bob Newhart

#Way #Humour

I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh.
-- Bojana Novakovic

#Laughing #Inappropriate #Humour

Humour has always been a self-defence mechanism for me.
-- Brooke Shields

#Self #Humour #Defence

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.
-- Carl Hiaasen

#Anger #Soapbox #Humour

musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves.
-- Carolyn Wells

#Humor #Musician #Humour

Humour ended up being a really useful skill when it came time to be an international television celebrity.
-- Carson Kressley

#Skills #Television #Humour

I like girls with a good sense of humour. Girls who are a lot of fun to be around.
-- Corbin Bleu

#Girl #Fun #Humour

Humour is a great vehicle for getting a message across. If you get too serious, you could die of starch.
-- Cyndi Lauper

#Messages #Serious #Humour

It is hard for power to enjoy or incorporate humour and satire in its system of control.
-- Dario Fo

#Satire #Enjoy #Humour

Goodnight, thank you, and may your god go with you.
-- Dave Allen

#May #Humour

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.
-- David Walliams

#Thinking #Comedy #Humour

I've often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there's been some funnies around it, and I'll usually make sure that it comes back at me.
-- Dawn French

#People #Said #Humour

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.
-- Doug Stanhope

#Laughing #Should #Humour

Whenever you find humour, you find pathos close by its side.
-- Edwin Percy Whipple

#Sides #Pathos #Humour

But alas! Like many another consummation devoutly to be wished, the actual performance was a disappointing one.
-- Fred Reinfeld

#Chess #Disappointing #Humour

There is nothing worse than annotated humour,
-- Garry Trudeau

#Humour

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour.
-- George Mikes

#Language #Humour #Exquisite

Humour is the shortest road from one person to another.
-- Georges Wolinski

#Humour #Persons

I love a girl with a good sense of humour, who is confident but who has a sweetness to her - that melts my heart.
-- Gerard Butler

#Girl #Heart #Humour

The whole [Scotch] nation hitherto has been void of wit and humour, and even incapable of relishing it.
-- Horace Walpole

#Scotch #Void #Humour

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.
-- Irvin S. Cobb

#Lines #Belated #Humour

According as the man is, so must you humour him.
-- Jean Racine

#Men #Humour

I enjoy humour more than anything, I don't really sit around banging my head and crying all the time.
-- Joaquin Phoenix

#Cry #Enjoy #Humour

A careful and sympathetic sense of humour can also be a great asset when there is need to get out of difficult situations gracefully.
-- John Allen Fraser

#Needs #Assets #Humour

[W]ithout humour you cannot run a sweetie-shop, let alone a nation.
-- John Buchan

#Running #Humour #Shops

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas
-- John Cleese

#Ideas #Laughing #Humour

I definitely try to mix humour into anything I do, even if it is into a drama.
-- Jorge Garcia

#Drama #Trying #Humour

I refuse not to have a sense of humour.
-- Ken Livingstone

#Humour #Refuse

Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'.
-- Kevin Myers

#Team #Humour

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.
-- Laurence J. Peter

#Laughing #Lasts #Humour

You can't take yourself too seriously.
-- LeRoy Neiman

#Humour

I played like a child.
-- Magnus Carlsen

#Children #Chess #Humour

Humour is the best way to make the unbearable bearable.
-- Mary Ann Shaffer

#Way #Unbearable #Humour

That which has not a real excellency and value in it self, entertains no longer than the giddy Humour which recommended it to us holds.
-- Mary Astell

#Real #Self #Humour

Making art is like humour - very moment dependent.
-- Michael Denton

#Art #Moments #Humour

I think cynicism often disguises itself as humour.
-- Michka Assayas

#Thinking #Cynicism #Humour

Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.
-- Mickey Rooney

#Way #Agents #Humour

I hope that the kind reader recognises this as a despairing attempt at humour.
-- Nancy Springer

#Witty #Kind #Humour

A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.
-- Nicolas Boileau-Despreaux

#Fool #Admire #Humour

everybody fancies they have that rare thing, a sense of humour.
-- Olivia Robertson

#Humor #Fancy #Humour

I like someone with a really good and dark sense of humour.
-- Paloma Faith

#Dark #Humour

I love Andre 3000 from OutKast. I think we'd complement each other, but I'm hoping he's got a good sense of humour.
-- Paloma Faith

#Thinking #Outkast #Humour

Inevitably you're going to be delayed somewhere. Always have a book. Always have a movie. Always have a notebook. And then always have a sense of humour.
-- Phil Keoghan

#Notebook #Book #Humour

Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead thing, until I became a member of the undead. Then I realized it was a Tod-thing.
-- Rachel Vincent

#Able #Members #Humour

He (The Agent) just takes ten per cent of your life.
-- Raymond Chandler

#Agents #Humour #Cents

All humor is rooted in pain.
-- Richard Pryor

#Pain #Humour

The Bible is such a gargantuan collection of conflicting values that anyone can prove anything from it.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

#Humour #Prove #Collections

The ironic humor comes from the distance between what we understand about ourselves and what is truly going on in ourselves.
-- Robert Olen Butler

#Distance #Ironic #Humour

There's no life without humour. It can make the wonderful moments of life truly glorious, and it can make tragic moments bearable.
-- Rufus Wainwright

#Wonderful #Moments #Humour

What's happened to humour? We're becoming American. Everyone gets so angry over everything.
-- Rupert Everett

#Becoming #Humour #Angry

I think if you come from a history of persecution you have to develop a sense of humour.
-- Sacha Baron Cohen

#Thinking #Humour #Persecution

Once you have perceived that life is very cruel, the only response is to live with as much humanity, humour and freedom as you can.
-- Sarah Kane

#Humanity #Life Is #Humour

I like doom and gloom with a sense of humour. Maybe it's a Scottish thing, we like to undercut indulgence with a laugh.
-- Shirley Henderson

#Laughing #Scottish #Humour

The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.
-- Sid Caesar

#Witty #People #Humour

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.
-- Simon Hoggart

#Foxes #Michael J Fox #Humour

Sometimes humour is all we have to say the things that can't be said.
-- Simon R. Green

#Sometimes #Said #Humour

The great nations have always acted like gangsters, and the small nations like prostitutes.
-- Stanley Kubrick

#History #Political #Humour

Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
-- Stephen Leacock

#Might #Humour #Contrast

All Dickens's humour couldn't save Dickens, save him from his overcrowded life, its sordid and neurotic central tragedy and its premature collapse. But Dickens's humour, and all such humour, has saved or at least greatly served the world.
-- Stephen Leacock

#Tragedy #World #Humour

Humour is like violence. They both come to you unexpectedly, and the more unpredictable they both are, the better it gets.
-- Takeshi Kitano

#Violence #Humour #Unpredictable

I'm always impressed by confidence, kindness and a sense of humour.
-- Tamara Mellon

#Kindness #Humour

At home I've got a very puerile, juvenile sense of humour.
-- Thom Yorke

#Home #Humour #Juvenile

One never really knows how much one has been touched by a place until one has left it.
-- Thomas Jefferson

#History #Historical #Humour

A British villain never loses their sense of humour.
-- Tom Hooper

#Villain #British #Humour

Once I asked Teichman what he thought of Bird's chess: "Same as his health," he replied, "always alternating between being dangerously ill and dangerously well."
-- William Ewart Napier

#Bird #Chess #Humour

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humour.
-- William Ralph Inge

#God #Should #Humour

As soon as I got funny, I killed any majestic intentions in my work.
-- William Wegman

#Majestic #Intention #Humour

While the eyes of the world will be on us let's show everyone that we have a great sense of humour.
-- Yahoo Serious

#Eye #World #Humour

Humour is completed by an audience.
-- Matthew Warchus

#Humour #Audience

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
-- P. J. O'Rourke

#Answers #Way #Humour

Humour is a big part of our lives as well as our music. Making it fun is the most important thing.
-- Adam Faulkner

#Fun #Important #Humour

Madness has no sense of humour
-- Adam Foulds

#Madness #Humour

Taking the humour out of Dickens, it's not Dickens any more.
-- Andrew Davies

#Humour #Dickens

We've had a day of great drama and of humour too. The rumour mill is now taking over
-- Andy Burnham

#Drama #Mills #Humour

I certainly don't see the humour in my work as something that detracts from its seriousness. It's just a way of making difficult messages more palatable.
-- Patricia Piccinini

#Way #Messages #Humour

Now I have the pawn and the compensation.
-- Roman Dzindzichashvili

#Chess #Pawns #Humour

The hall-mark of American humour is its pose of illiteracy.
-- Ronald Knox

#Mark #Humour #Halls

Humour is human. Why? Well, because the Philosopher, Aristotle, says so.
-- Simon Critchley

#Philosopher #Humour #Wells