Jasper Fforde Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
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“I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“[from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"]At the end of the first round, I will award three points to Mr. Kaine for an excellent nonspecific condemnation, plus one bonus point for blaming the previous government and another for successfully mutating the question to promote the party line. Mr. van de Poste gets a point for a firm rebuttal, but only two points for his condemnation, as he tried to inject an impartial and intelligent observation.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Do you really think you'd win a PR war against a bunch of committed librarians?' He thought about this, but he knew I was right. The libraries were a treasured institution and so central to everyday life that government and commerce rarely did anything that might upset them.Some say they were more powerful than the military, or, if not, they were certainly quieter. As they say: Don't mess with librarians. Only they use a stronger word than 'mess'...”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad —”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“I got Oedipus off the incest charge--technicality, of course--he didn't know it was his mother at the time.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“What’s the opposite of déjà vu, when you see something that hasn’t happened yet?†“I don’t know—avant verrais?”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, O’er a plan to venge myself upon that cursed Thursday Next- This Eyre affair, so surprising, gives my soul such loath despising, Here I plot my temper rising, rising from my jail of text. “Get me out!†I said, advising, “Pluck me from this jail of text- or I swear I’ll wring your neck!”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“It wasn’t going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn’t deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn’t scare me as much as it used to.”
-- Jasper Fforde -
“I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.”
-- Jasper Fforde
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