Blow Job Quotes:

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

- Chelsea Handler

topic: Funny, Mother, Jobs, Blow Job

I haven't had sex in two and a half years. A guy I met in San Francisco gave me a sympathy blow job. It didn't really work. I said, "You're just doing this 'cause you feel sorry for me." We stopped in the middle.

- Kevin Sessums

source: Source: www.thedailybeast.com

topic: Jobs, Sex, Sorry, Blow Job, Half A Year

My mind leaps to my theory about presidents - that there are two kinds, ones who have a lot of sex and the others who start wars. In short - and don't quote me, because this is an incomplete expression of a more complex premise - I believe blow jobs prevent war.

- A.M. Homes

topic: Jobs, Sex, War, Start Wars, Blow Job

Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.

- Joe Rogan

topic: Jobs, Blow, Helping, Blow Job

Did Bill Clinton actually think that he could get blow jobs from a Jewish woman and there would be no consequences?

- Larry David

topic: Jobs, Blow, Thinking, Blow Job

For sure, even the worst blow job is better than, say, sniffing the best rose ... watching the greatest sunset. Hearing children laugh.

- Chuck Palahniuk

source: Chuck Palahniuk (2011). “Choke”, p.19, Random House

topic: Blow Job, Sniffing

Blow jobs are okay, but kissing clients is still a taboo.

- Annie Sprinkle

source: Source: therumpus.net

topic: Jobs, Kissing, Blow, Blow Job

If this is something you'd truly like to work on, not out of a sense of guilt but because you would enjoy occasionally reciprocating, there are a wealth of resources out there for the enthusiastic amateur (you are far from the only would-be blow-jobber whose spirit is willing but gag reflex is weak). You have more options than "no blow jobs, ever" and "regular whole-hog sessions to completion that result in vomiting."

- Mallory Ortberg

topic: Jobs, Blow, Guilt, Gags, Blow Job

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.

- Eugene Mirman

topic: Jobs, Home, Blow, Blow Job

In the Bengali language, there's not a real word for blow job. They call it "doing the ice cream."

- Michael Glawogger

topic: Jobs, Real, Blow, Bengali, Blow Job

We weren't doing blow jobs when I was growing up.

- Judy Blume

source: Source: www.teachingbooks.net

topic: Jobs, Growing Up, Blow, Blow Job

My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'

- Paul Merton

topic: Jobs, Blow, Yelling, Blow Job, Transsexuals

I think we made out [sexuality changing]. I think that's really great, and we didn't jump into intercourse. And there were no blow jobs.

- Judy Blume

source: Source: www.teachingbooks.net

topic: Jobs, Blow, Thinking, Blow Job

It's easier for Europeans to give money to a movie that says a blow job is what brought down American democracy.

- Julie Delpy

source: "indieWIRE INTERVIEW | “2 Days in Paris” Director Julie Delpy". Interview with Erica Abeel, www.indiewire.com. August 8, 2007.

topic: Jobs, Blow, Giving, American Democracy, Blow Job

... tobacco kills 52,000 people a year from lung cancer, and there's no telling how many lives have been ruined through drinking.But to my knowledge, no one has ever died of a blow job.

- Florynce Kennedy

source: Florynce Kennedy (1976). “Color Me Flo: My Hard Life and Good Times”

topic: Jobs, Cancer, Drinking, Blow Job, Lung Cancer

I've given guys blow jobs just because I've run out of things to talk about.' Oh, Rae. Who hasn't

- Anne Lamott

topic: Running, Jobs, Sex, Blow Job

Basically my new litmus test for people is, do they make me hear about a blow job they gave in the first ten minutes of us talking? And if they didn't then I can feel excited.

- Lena Dunham

source: Source: www.teachingbooks.net

topic: Jobs, Blow, Talking, Blow Job

It's not that I don't want to hear about that [blow job] stuff, I just want to hear about it immediately. And I want to hear about it on more comfortable terms.

- Lena Dunham

source: Source: www.teachingbooks.net

topic: Jobs, Blow, Want, Blow Job

As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.

- Mallory Ortberg

topic: Sex, Jobs, Blow, Blow Job

On one hand, prostitutes don't struggle because it's simply their life. In Mexico and elsewhere, once they get out of these places [brothels] they have a pretty square life. In Bangladesh it's different because they live in the brothel, it's sort of a prison, but still there are two sides. When they think of their religion and their upbringing, they can be very moralistic. They're moralistic about giving blow jobs. On the other hand, they have an everyday life where there's no room for shame.

- Michael Glawogger

topic: Jobs, Struggle, Blow, Brothels, Blow Job

Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things.

- Lily Tomlin

source: Source: blogs.indiewire.com

topic: Girl, Jobs, Children, Stunned, Blow Job

When I was meeting people in L.A., guys always thought if they paid for dinner, they deserved a blow job. But generally, I'll say this - and I'll say it proudly - I can't sleep with someone if I don't have a connection with them.

- Katy Perry

source: Source: www.glamour.com

topic: Jobs, Sleep, Blow, Blow Job, I Can't Sleep

The master of ceremonies asked people to say what they thought the function of the novel might be in modern society, and one critic said, “To provide touches of color in rooms with all-white walls.” Another one said, “To describe blow-jobs artistically.

- Kurt Vonnegut

source: KURT VONNEGUT, JR (1969). “SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE”

topic: Jobs, Wall, Blow, Master Ceremony, White Walls