Paul Merton Quotes and Sayings - Page 1
More Paul Merton quote about:
-
“When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?”
-- Paul Merton -
“On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?”
-- Paul Merton -
“My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.”
-- Paul Merton -
“In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.”
-- Paul Merton -
“In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and tripped over my trousers and heard this cracking sound in my leg. A couple of days later I went into a coma and was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism.”
-- Paul Merton -
“It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.”
-- Paul Merton -
“Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.”
-- Paul Merton -
“When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.”
-- Paul Merton -
“All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.”
-- Paul Merton -
“Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.”
-- Paul Merton -
“When I used to do the Edinburgh Festival, there was a bunch of guys selling fresh oysters and I'd eat ten daily - marvellous.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I don't want to talk about my private life.' I've never crossed that line.”
-- Paul Merton -
“It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when you're young and shy, making people laugh is a good way to make friends. It's an instant connection.”
-- Paul Merton -
“And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.”
-- Paul Merton -
“I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?”
-- Paul Merton -
“At one point in the mid-Eighties I shared a promoter with the Smiths. One night, we were sitting backstage when Morrissey burst in, utterly distraught, sobbing his heart out. Turns out someone had thrown a sausage at him on stage during 'Meat Is Murder.'”
-- Paul Merton -
“If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.”
-- Paul Merton -
“When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.”
-- Paul Merton -
“The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.”
-- Paul Merton -
“My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if I stood yelling down the alley while you're giving blow jobs to transsexuals?'”
-- Paul Merton -
“I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.”
-- Paul Merton
You may also like:
-
Alastair Campbell
Journalist -
Anna Chancellor
Actress -
Charlie Brooker
Broadcaster -
Clement Freud
Writer -
Clive Anderson
Presenter -
Frank Skinner
Comedian -
Graham Norton
Presenter -
Gyles Brandreth
Writer -
Ian Hislop
Journalist -
Jack Dee
Comedian -
Jenny Eclair
Comedian -
Jo Brand
Actress -
Julian Clary
Comedian -
Nick Hancock
Actor -
Peter Cook
Actor -
Piers Morgan
Journalist -
Sean Lock
Comedian -
Stephen Fry
Comedian -
Victoria Coren Mitchell
Writer -
Paul O'Grady
Comedian