Drive Safely Quotes:

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

- George Carlin

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Driving Fast, Car Driving

To be entirely safe from the devil's snares the man of God must be completely obedient to the Word of the Lord. The driver on the highway is safe, not when he reads the signs but when he obeys them.

- Aiden Wilson Tozer

topic: Christian, Men, Devil, Snares, Man Of God

Baseball is like driving, it's the one who gets home safely that counts.

- Tommy Lasorda

topic: Sports, Baseball, Home, Drive Safely

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

- Dudley Moore

topic: Mirrors, Views, Safety, Drive Safely, Workplace Safety

Know how to drive safely when it's raining or when it's snowing. The two conditions are different.

- Marilyn vos Savant

topic: Rain, Two, Snow, Drive Safely

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

- Albert Einstein

topic: Life, Cute, Romantic, Just Kiss Me, Kisses And Hugs

Honk if you love Jesus, text while driving if you want to meet up.

- Barbara Kingsolver

source: Barbara Kingsolver (2012). “Flight Behaviour”, p.234, Faber & Faber

topic: Jesus, Want, Driving, Drive Safely

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.

- Woody Allen

topic: Self, Tree, Defense, Drinking And Driving, Tree Of Life

For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign?

- Robert Breault

topic: Normal, Driving, Resumes, Drive Safely

If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.

- Joseph M. Schenck

topic: Lying, Drunk, Guy, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

- Nancy Astor

topic: Time, Educational, Want, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

It seemed to me that the people who made the rules of the road had figured out everything that would help a person drive safely right down to having a sign that tells you you're passing through a place where deer cross. Somebody should stick up some signs on the highway of life. CAUTION: JERKS CROSSING. Blinking yellow lights when you're about to to something stupid. Stop signs in front of people who could hurt you. Green lights shining when you're doing the right thing. It would make the whole experience easier.

- Joan Bauer

topic: Hurt, Stupid, Light, Drive Safely, Green Lights

It's all based around the idea that basically VW cars are space age. They're the worst cars to use in action movie, because all the things you want to traditionally do in an action movie they won't allow you to do, because they make you drive safely if you want to or not.

- Paul W. S. Anderson

source: Source: collider.com

topic: Ideas, Space, Car, Drive Safely

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.

- P. J. O'Rourke

source: P. J. O'Rourke (1983). “Modern manners”, Dell Books

topic: Food, Drinking, Alcohol, Drinking Funny, Drive Safely