Funny Insomnia Quotes:

It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it.

- John Steinbeck

topic: Life, Morning, Sleep, Solved Problems, Morning After

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

- Anthony Burgess

source: Anthony Burgess (1986). “Homage to QWERT YUIOP: essays”, Vintage

topic: Love, Life, Relationship, Laughs And Smiles, Aromatherapy

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Wise, Money, 4th Of July, Spiritual Health, Inspirational Health

I've always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.

- David Benioff

source: David Benioff (2008). “City of Thieves: A Novel”, p.25, Penguin

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Skulls, Trunks, Funny Insomnia

Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death; and the higher the rate of interest and the more regularly it is paid, the further the date of redemption is postponed.

- Arthur Schopenhauer

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Redemption, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

Many things, such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly - are done worst when we try hardest to do them.

- C. S. Lewis

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Trying, Going To Sleep, Sweet Sleep

The worst thing in the world is to try to sleep and not to.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Trying, Not Sleeping, Funny Insomnia

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

- Albert Camus

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, People, Lecturer, College Days

Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking.

- Clifton Fadiman

source: Clifton Fadiman (1957). “Any Number Can Play”, Cleveland : World Publishing Company

topic: Dream, Sleep, Insomnia, Not Sleeping, Funny Insomnia

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

- W. C. Fields

source: "Fictional character: The Great Man". "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break", www.imdb.com. October 10, 1941.

topic: Funny, Humorous, Sleep, Insomniac, Funny Insomnia

Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

topic: Good Night, Dream, Art, Dreaming At Night, Good Dream

And if tonight my soul may find her peace in sleep, and sink in good oblivion, and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created.

- D. H. Lawrence

topic: Morning, Flower, Adventure, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.

- Wilson Mizner

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Average, Average Person, Funny Insomnia

O sleep! O gentle sleep! Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down And steep my senses in forgetfulness? Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs, Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee, And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber, Than in the perfum'd chambers of the great, Under the canopies of costly state, And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody?

- William Shakespeare

source: 'Henry IV, Part 2' (1597) act 3, sc. 1, l. 5

topic: Nature, Sleep, Night, Uneasy, Sound Sleep

A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by One after one; the sound of rain, and bees Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas, Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky - I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie Sleepless.

- William Wordsworth

source: William Wordsworth, Myles Birket Foster, Sir John Gilbert, Robert Eldridge Aris WILLMOTT, Joseph WOLF (Artist.) (1859). “Poems of William Wordsworth. Selected and edited by Robert Aris Willmott ... Illustrated with one hundred designs by Birket Foster, J. Wolf, and John Gilbert, engraved by the brothers Dalziel”, p.208

topic: Lying, Rain, Fall, Sound Of Rain, Sound Sleep

Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine!

- Wallace Shawn

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Poor, Caffeine, Funny Insomnia

Early to bed and early to rise makes a person dull, boring, and despised.

- Ernie J Zelinski

topic: Funny, Bed, Dull, Inspirational Health, Early Bird

O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head.

- Thomas Hood

source: Thomas Hood (1860). “The Poetical Works of Thomas Hood”, p.229

topic: Insomnia, Heaven, Bed, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled.

- Edward Lucas

topic: Insomnia, Naps, Alcohol, Can't Sleep, Distillation

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.

- Charlotte Bronte

source: Charlotte Bronte (2009). “The Professor: Easyread Super Large 24pt Edition”, p.32, ReadHowYouWant.com

topic: Dream, Sleep, Insomnia, Funny Insomnia, Restless Mind

Bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret.

- Charles Caleb Colton

source: Charles Caleb Colton (1823). “Remarks on the Talents of Lord Byron and the Tendencies of Don Juan”

topic: Regret, Sleep, Insomnia, Going To Sleep, Bundles

Don't fight with the pillow, but lay down your head And kick every worriment out of the bed.

- Edmund Vance Cooke

topic: Fighting, Worry, Bed, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleeping

It appears that every man's insomnia is as different from his neighbours as are their daytime hopes and aspirations.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

source: The Crack-up 'Sleeping and Walking'

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Men, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleeping

Now blessings light on him that first invented this same sleep. It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak.

- Miguel de Cervantes

source: Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1993). “Don Quixote”, p.730, Wordsworth Editions

topic: Sleep, Blessing, Insomnia, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

- E. W. Howe

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Emotional, Not Sleeping, Funny Insomnia

The worst thing in the world is to be bland.

- Ben Huh

source: Source: thebiglead.com

topic: World, Worst, Bland, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

All men whilst they are awake are in one common world: but each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own.

- Plutarch

topic: Dream, Sleep, Insomnia, Lucid Dreaming, Funny Insomnia

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Morning, Regret, Night, Going To Sleep, Bundles

Oh, yes! Fill the churches with dirty thoughts! Introduce honesty to the White House! Write letters in dead languages to people you've never met! Paint filthy words on the foreheads of children! Burn your credit cards and wear high heels! Asylum doors stand open! Fill the suburbs with murder and rape! Divine madness! Let there be ecstasy, ecstasy in the streets! Laugh and the world laughs with you!

- Grant Morrison

topic: Honesty, Children, Dirty, Humor And Laughter, Humor Laughter

Now, blessings light on him that first invented sleep!Ê It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak; it is meat for the hungry, drink for the thirsty, heat for the cold, and cold for the hot.Ê It is the current coin that purchases all the pleasures of the world cheap, and the balance that sets the king and the shepherd, the fool and the wise man, even.

- Miguel de Cervantes

topic: Wise, Kings, Sleep, Funny Insomnia, Funny Sleep

Sleep, rest of things, O pleasing Deity, Peace of the soul, which cares dost crucify, Weary bodies refresh and mollify.

- Ovid

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Soul, Funny Insomnia, Rest And Sleep

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

- Arthur Baer

topic: Sleep, Insomnia, Office, Office Hours, Funny Insomnia