Mindy Kaling quotes

If you are going to ask your crush for their phone number, you are one of the small group of women I am so jealous of.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Crush #Jealous #Phones

I guess when you go to business school you never turn business off.
-- Mindy Kaling

#School #Turns

Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Inspirational #Funny #Life

Don't fall into the trap of thinking about politics in your workplace too much. Just work hard, be cheerful, ignore distractions.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Fall #Hard Work #Thinking

There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Funny #Beautiful #Sleep

I think references, where they fit organically, are great. It's great to do a show that's real and relatable, and so much of what is real, is using real things and instances that are specific. Specificity is the best tool you can have, as a writer.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Real #Thinking #Tools

Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popular in high school, or being the best actress in high school, or the best athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that the second you graduate, but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life. What I’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in high school is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s so wonderfully fair.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Girl #Funny Inspirational #Stars

I don't have very much time to surf the net, because it's as though my boss has a tracking device on me. The instant I'm looking at a Chloe sweater on Shopbop, I'll get a call in my office with a PA asking: "Paul wants to know where you are and why you're not in the writers room, and if maybe you're online shopping."
-- Mindy Kaling

#Shopping #Sweaters #Office

I feel the same way about clothes as I do about food. I want everything,
-- Mindy Kaling

#Clothes #Way #Want

People who are good at stand-up, they sort of seem to have to do it. Something within them makes them have to go on the road.
-- Mindy Kaling

#People #Goes On

Everyone should try to live their life like they'd like to be a role model.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Role Models #Trying #Roles

"Why is everyone trying to tell me that when you get older it gets better?" I didn't believe it, because I'm so contrarian and suspicious of everything. And then to find that it's kind of true is nice.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Nice #Believe #Trying

I have a personality defect where I REFUSE to see myself as an underdog.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Personality #Underdog #Defects

Why is everyone trying to tell me that when you get older it gets better?
-- Mindy Kaling

#Trying #Get Better #It Gets Better

There are little Indian girls out there who look up to me, and I never want to belittle the honor of being an inspiration to them. But while I’m talking about why I’m so different, white male show runners get to talk about their art. I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’
-- Mindy Kaling

#Girl #Art #Inspiration

I'm so much more confident and sexy at thirty-eight than I ever was when I was eighteen or twenty-four...
-- Mindy Kaling

#Sexy #Eight #Four

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Funny #Birthday #Racism

Something that's happened recently is that I don't beat myself up about stuff.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Stuff #Beats

Here's my feeling: For everyone, men and women, it's important to be a feminist. It's important to have female characters. It's wonderful for women to mentor other women, but it's just as important for women to mentor men and vice-versa. In my line of work, having Greg Daniels be such a great mentor to me is fantastic. Finding a writer's assistant, be it a man or a woman, and encouraging them to think with a feminist perspective, is key.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Character #Men #Thinking

As I've gotten older, I can look at myself more clearly and own the things that I'm good at and work on the things that I'm not. Like, I am not skinny. I know that if I were to lose a little weight I'd literally have more time in the morning because I know clothes would fit better. And now I can look at those things more practically. Instead of being like, "What does that say about me?," now I'm just like, "That would be great to sleep in an extra fifteen minutes because I wasn't trying on everything in my closet."
-- Mindy Kaling

#Morning #Sleep #Clothes

I have a thick skin, which comes from being a not-really-skinny, dark-skinned Indian woman. I haven't fit in every place, and so I'm kind of used to resistance.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Dark #Skins #Resistance

I had to learn a skill set. I think I had the materials to be a good comedy writer.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Thinking #Skills #Comedy

I think as humans, no one remembers their successes, everyone just remembers their failures.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Thinking #Remember #Humans

My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I've ever had in my life.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mom #Profound #My Mom

I try not to put anything political on the forefront of what I'm trying to do creatively. At the same time, I do think it's wonderful when I hear people say that it's inspirational that I'm an Indian woman on camera. My life is very diverse, and my friends are a diverse group of people.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Thinking #People #Political

I, like most women, I dress for other women, I think. If I was going to dress for men, I think in general I would be just wearing, like, a fitted black T-shirt and tight jeans every day.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Men #Thinking #Jeans

I feel like I'm in the right profession.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Feels #Profession

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Giving #Members #Demographics

I cringe a lot when I look at my early talk-show experiences.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Looks #Shows

When I was a kid, my parents smartly raised us to keep quiet, be respectful to older people, and generally not question adults all that much. I think that's because they were assuming that 99 percent of the time, we'd be interacting with worthy, smart adults... They didn't ever tell me 'Sometimes you will meet idiots who are technically adults and authority figures. You don't have to do what they say.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Smart #Kids #Thinking

I always wanted to write, even before I realized that there was a comedy writers' world, or what that life was like. I never thought of myself, at least as a little kid, in terms of being the onscreen talent. I always thought it'd be so much fun to write sketches and be a writer. Even as little as 6 or 7, that's what my main interest was.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Fun #Kids #Writing

..I find it incredible impossible not to cry when I hear Stevie Nicks's "Landslide," especially the lyric: "I've been afraid of changing, because I've built my life around you." I think a good test to see if a human is actually a robot/android/cylon is to have them listen to this song lyric and study their reaction. If they don't cry, you should stab them through the heart. You will find a fusebox.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Song #Heart #Thinking

I think a lot of people compare female writers or female comedians to each other in a way that men are not. Male comedy writers are not scrutinized.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Men #Thinking #People

I just have my characters say my controversial opinions and then hide behind them.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Character #Opinion #Controversial

There is some pressure when you are a woman doing what I do that you must support all other women unconditionally, no matter what they're projecting, or writing, or producing, or putting forth as their art. I think that's equally arbitrary and random and unfair, and kind of sexist. The secretly sexist way. I have really high standards for what I think is funny. I have that for everything, and I think it would be disingenuous of me to blanket-ly love everything a woman has produced simply to make a statement that we're all in this together.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Art #Writing #Thinking

The Internet also makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to focus. One small break to look up exactly how almond milk is made, and four hours later I'm reading about the Donner Party and texting all my friends: DID YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE DONNER PARTY AND HOW MESSED UP THAT WAS? TEXT ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!
-- Mindy Kaling

#Party #Reading #Guy

I hate gowns. It's a rare gown indeed that is cool. Most are elegant or whatever, a quality I don't put a big premium on.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Hate #Quality #Gowns

There Has Ceased to Be a Difference Between My Awake Clothes and My Asleep Clothes
-- Mindy Kaling

#Differences #Clothes #Awake

I'm not into red carpet looks where it's clear the woman wanted to look like a pretty, pretty princess.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Princess #Looks #Red

There are so many distractions you can face as a woman, either with relationships or worrying about, Should I go to this party? or, Should I be doing this to help me get ahead? All [success] is, is doing your work and staying focused. It's boring advice, but boring good advice is what you can get from me!
-- Mindy Kaling

#Funny Inspirational #Party #Worry

I have a goofy side that impacts my clothing a lot. To that end, I love witty, colorful, prints.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Witty #Impact #Sides

When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Inspirational #Mean #Commitment

I worship makeup. The basics are always: Stila shadows, LeClerc powder for my crazy shiny skin, Bobbie brown liner pot, Chanel mascara, and Koh Gen Do for foundation, Nars for colors and sparkles.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Crazy #Makeup #Color

I'm the kind of person who would rather get my hopes up really high and watch them get dashed to pieces than wisely keep my expectations at bay and hope they are exceeded. This quality has made me a needy and theatrical friend, but has given me a spectacularly dramatic emotional life.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Emotional #Expectations #Quality

I have a whole system down for returning online shopping: a tape gun, a printer for return labels. That has replaced traditional window shopping in my life, as I've gotten busier.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Gun #Shopping #Labels

There are little Indian girls out there who look up to me, and I never want to belittle the honor of being an inspiration to them. But while I’m talking about why I’m so different, white male show runners get to talk about their art.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Girl #Art #Inspiration

I stupidly memorize my credit card and use it about thrice weekly for online shopping. The only reason I don't bankrupt myself is that I return about 75% of what I buy.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Shopping #Use #Credit

More than half the questions I am asked are about the politics of the way I look
-- Mindy Kaling

#Way #Looks #Half

I am the kind of person that is drawn to colors against my will.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Color #Kind #Persons

I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Nice #Thinking #Shoes

Directing is exhausting, but not for the actual directing part, when you say "Action!" and give creative notes. As a director, the exhausting part is that you are a professional answer-machine.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Giving #Creative #Machines

I don't mind that if I ever star in movies, they'll likely be mine. That's okay, because my great role models - Woody Allen, even Tyler Perry, who is actually one of my role models, even if that seems kind of strange - they do that themselves. And it's great. They build empires, and they're known as having their own voice. I think it's 20 times more fun to act on a set where I feel the freedom to change the dialogue.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Stars #Fun #Thinking

When I've acted, and it's not been something I've written or have had at least a hand in writing, I do think there is a controlling side of me that is frustrated by that. And I actually don't think that it's a bad thing, because if I'm going to be in movies, in large part they're going to be movies that I write.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Writing #Thinking #Hands

I once heard that Quentin Tarantino, who I obviously love and think is a genius, says that there's no such thing as guilty pleasure, there's only pleasures. And I do love that idea, because I do think that there's a pretentiousness when people make a list of their favorite things. I like to live a life where I don't think of my pleasures as guilty pleasures.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Thinking #Ideas #People

I've always had that chip on my shoulder. I've just always been super hard on myself.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Chips #Shoulders

I am an incredibly impatient person.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Impatient #Persons

I would be the first to admit that I have incredibly high, ambitious standards for my life and my career, and I've had those my entire life. It's something that was just instilled in me by my parents.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Careers #Parent #Ambitious

Those who are saying it's possible [to balance family and business] are often in a little bit of a rarefied place where they also have the money to do that. It's not quite such an easy stance to take when you don't have the same resources. I like to remind people that these are rich Manhattanites and to keep an eye on the fact that, especially with social media and these articles and these blogs, that that is not the reality for most women, unfortunately.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Eye #Reality #Media

When you're "East Coast" person, you are so insufferable, and you have no idea. And I was. One, because I was miserable, and nobody liked to be around a miserable person, and two, everything that I thought was so profound, everyone had already dealt with.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Ideas #Two #Profound

There wasn't a big tradition of comedy at Dartmouth. More than that, there wasn't really anything artsy going on in Hanover, or even in New Hampshire. The cool thing about the school is that there's nothing for people to watch, so if you were to do a play or a sketch or an improv troupe, it was always packed. There's nowhere else for anyone to go. But there was no comedy.
-- Mindy Kaling

#School #Play #People

I was just this chubby little Indian kid who looked like a nerd. I didn't have a ton of academic skills. It wasn't until I was in high school that I was like, "I guess I like writing dialogue." So that's how I got into it.
-- Mindy Kaling

#School #Kids #Writing

My understanding of the way sex scenes work is that you're surrounded by crew, and you're cold, and you have to do it eight times 'cause they didn't get the lighting. It doesn't sound pleasant, but you think that actors actually enjoy it?
-- Mindy Kaling

#Sex #Thinking #Eight

My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mother

I don't consider myself a fashion person, I consider myself a shopping person. As a person who has girlie interests and a little bit of disposable income.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Fashion #Shopping #Littles

Every actor pretends that they hate sex scenes, and the truth is that they all love them, and they're lying.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Sex #Lying #Hate

I'm giving a lot of opinions, but I don't give any advice. I'm 31 and I'm not married and having kids. I'm five-foot-three. I weigh, like, 150 pounds and I'm not in this position to be telling people how to live.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Kids #Feet #Giving

Writing a book is the most terrifying thing that I've ever done. It's so much harder than writing for television because it is a completely different skill set.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Book #Writing #Skills

Every day, I wake up and I'm like, "Oh, I'm the star of my own show that has my name in it and I get to write it and hire actors that I've loved for such a long time!" It's amazing!
-- Mindy Kaling

#Stars #Writing #Names

There is a lot of catarsis that passes itself off as art or comedy and I'm kind of critical of that. I think that just because you bare your soul or underwear or private moments it doesn't , or necessarily make for entertainment, or good writing, or funny writing.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Art #Writing #Thinking

There is this cliche of, "Oh, your professional life is fine, but your romantic life isn't." But, that's also really true of me and all my friends. You don't want to not do something that's relatable simply because you're worried that it might be cliche.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Want #Might #Life Is

I'm a smart enough person to know that I don't want everyone to be cookie-cutter versions of the nine guys who wear Converse sneakers.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Smart #Sneakers #Guy

I have never regretted erring on the side of withholding information.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Erring #Information #Sides

If I can muster up any allure in my life, at this stage, I wouldn't mind doing that.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mind #Allure #Stage

I think that when you're 5'4" and 150 pounds and you love to chat and you have a blog about shopping, trying to maintain a tiny bit of mystery where you possibly can is not a bad thing.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Thinking #Shopping #Trying

Is this a generation of orphans who are going to the improv to do stand-up?
-- Mindy Kaling

#Generations #Orphan

Sarah [Silverman] writes her own jokes. She doesn't just go through her life and talk about everything. She sits down and crafts jokes. Sometimes her inspiration comes from areas of her life that are risqué. But she is an A-plus professional joke-writer in addition to being very attractive and a great performer.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Inspiration #Writing #Crafts

My dad is a very snappy dresser; he gets all his stuff tailored. He's an architect, so he's a little more artistically minded.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Dad #Littles #Stuff

I don't ever remember being able to debate with my parents. Even though I thought of myself as a very bright kid, I couldn't be vocal in that way.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Kids #Parent #Way

My whole childhood was like: Work hard, be quiet, respect elderly people, respect your parents, and just be unobtrusive.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Hard Work #Elderly #People

When I was growing up, I didn't do plays in downtown Boston, and my parents weren't putting me in auditions. They never thought, Oh, she has a gift! They never thought of me as an entertainer when I was a young kid.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Growing Up #Kids #Boston

My dad is funny in his own way, and so is my brother, but in terms of legitimately making a lot of people laugh, that's my mom. I inherit my sense of comedy from her.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mom #Brother #Dad

In my writers' room, which is mostly men, I get a lot of questions like "What would be the quickest way to pass as a seemingly normal guy between the ages of twenty-five and forty years old?"
-- Mindy Kaling

#Men #Years #Guy

This is extremely challenging when you sound like a 12-year-old girl, and you decide your first personal endeavor is to play, like, a - like, a very macho dude.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Girl #Years #Play

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, non-Velcro-shoe-wearing man.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Men #Shoes #Schedules

It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Jail #Murder #Fame

Haley and I would talk for hours about which member of 'N Sync we'd want to marry. After long deliberation, the answer was always J. C. Chasez. Joey Fatone's last name was going to be “Fat One” no matter how great he was, and even though they didn't know at their age that Lance Bass was gay outright, they sensed he'd make a better good friend and confidante. As for Justin Timberlake, well, JT was the coolest and hottest, but too flashy, so we couldn't trust him to be faithful. J. C. Chasez was the smart compromise.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Smart #Gay #Good Friend

In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with the for the next forty years.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Real #Party #Years

It makes me cry because it means that fewer and fewer people are believing it's cool to want what I want, which is to be married and have kids and love each other in a monogamous, long-lasting relationship.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Believe #Mean #Kids

I just want ambitious teenagers to know it is totally fine to be quite, observant kids. Besides being a delight to your parents, you will find you have plenty of time later to catch up.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Teenager #Kids #Parent

There are many teenage vampire books you could have purchased instead. I'm grateful you made this choice.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Teenage #Book #Grateful

Always Wear Flats and Have Your Friends Sleep Over: A Step-by-Step How-To Guide for Avoiding Getting Murdered
-- Mindy Kaling

#Sleep #Steps #Guides

Another old saying is that revenge is a dish best served cold. But it feels best served piping hot, straight out of the oven of outrage. My opinion? Take care of revenge right away.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Revenge #Care #Hot

As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mom #Mean #Two

The chorus of “Jack and Diane” is: Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone. Are you kidding me? The thrill of living was high school? Come on, Mr. Cougar Mellencamp. Get a life.
-- Mindy Kaling

#School #Long #Gone

You should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it’s acid in the face—who will love them now?
-- Mindy Kaling

#Revenge #Advice #Faces

That’s the one nice thing about being a dork about men: you can sometimes play it off as restrained and classy.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Nice #Men #Play

Writing, at its heart, is a solitary pursuit, designed to make people depressoids, drug addicts, misanthropes, and antisocial weirdos.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Writing #Heart #People

I’m not complaining about Romance Being Dead - I’ve just described a happy marriage as based on talking about plants and a canceled Ray Romano show and drinking milkshakes: not exactly rose petals and gazing into each other’s eyes at the top of the Empire State Building or whatever. I’m pretty sure my parents have gazed into each other’s eyes maybe once, and that was so my mom could put eyedrops in my dad’s eyes.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Mom #Dad #Drinking

I initially thought you were ugly, but then you walked closer to me and I realized you were pretty.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Ugly #I Realized

I don’t think it should be socially acceptable for people to say they are “bad with names.” No one is bad with names. That is not a real thing. Not knowing people’s names isn’t a neurological condition; it’s a choice. You choose not to make learning people’s names a priority. It’s like saying, “Hey, a disclaimer about me: I’m rude.
-- Mindy Kaling

#Real #Thinking #Names