Fart quotes

And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.
-- Anthony Bourdain

#Dream #Sleep #Fart

Did you hear something, Nora?” Vee asked. “I thought I heard something.” “You definitely heard something,” I agreed. “Could that be … a dog fart I heard?” Vee asked me.
-- Becca Fitzpatrick

#Dog #Fart #Heard

I'm into paradoxes. I wanted to make an album about them, but the group told me I was a pretentious fart. They were right.
-- Brian May

#Groups #Albums #Fart

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.
-- Craig Benzine

#Sound #Fart

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.
-- Gary Busey

#Sharks #Water #Fart

I fart in your general direction.
-- Graham Chapman

#Comedy #Fart

ObamaCare is to health care as a fart is to an elevator.
-- Greg Gutfeld

#Obamacare #Fart #Health Care

I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke.
-- Harold Ramis

#Thinking #Fart #Jokes

Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
-- Janet Evanovich

#Grandma #Sometimes #Fart

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
-- Jenny Eclair

#Laughter #Fart #Beats

She's a warm fart at Christmas.
-- Jethro Tull

#Friendship #Fart

I'm only interested in heavy metal when it's me who's playing it. I suppose it's a bit like smelling your own farts.
-- John Entwistle

#Fart #Heavy Metal #Heavy

You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!
-- John Marston

#Ass #Fart

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.
-- Jonathan Tropper

#Pity #Fart

Have you been sniffing fairy farts?
-- Kim Harrison

#Fairy #Fart

We're here on Earth to fart around
-- Kurt Vonnegut

#Earth #Fart

I have a playlist of farts on my phone.
-- Lena Headey

#Phones #Fart #Playlists

People dressed in a certain kind of clothing are never wrong. Also they never fart.
-- Margaret Atwood

#People #Kind #Fart

So familiar are eggs to us, however, that in the eighteenth century they were referred to as cackling farts, on the basis that chickens cackled all the time and eggs came out of the back of them.
-- Mark Forsyth

#Eggs #Fart #Century

Art is like a fart for the soul. Better out than in.
-- Martin Firrell

#Art #Soul #Fart

They didn't trademark everything back then. Now someone farts and they put a TM after it. Even Miller Lite says 'A Fine Pilsner Beer' on the label. It is a crime.
-- Michael Jackson

#Beer #Labels #Fart

The worst thing a girl could do on a date is fart louder than me.
-- Niall Horan

#Girl #Fart #Worst

A person who discreetly farts in an elevator is not a divine being, and a man needs to know this.
-- Robert Bly

#Men #Needs #Fart

There's nothing worse than a bunch of jaded old farts, and that's a fact.
-- Robert Plant

#Facts #Fart #Bunch

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.
-- Walter Matthau

#Body #Talent #Fart

A fart in the face is love.
-- James Kidd

#Faces #Fart

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.
-- Mena Suvari

#Drink #Fart #Old Farts

I know that at one time, the Arctic was the tropics. And I guess I wonder what caused that? Was it dinosaur farts? I don’t know.
-- Ralph Klein

#Dinosaurs #Fart #Knows