Funny Story Quotes:

I wish I had a funny story.

- Leslie Easterbrook

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Wish, Stories, Funny Story

I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm around you.

- Ned Vizzini

topic: Problem, Funny Story

What I usually do is tell funny stories from the road, many of which are, of course, unprintable. But I don't actually have a joke. I don't tell jokes much. I tell little stories.

- Howard Dean

source: "Dean on peeves, profanity and feet". Interview with Patrick Gavin, www.politico.com. March 24, 2009.

topic: Stories, Littles, Funny Story

I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.

- Marion Barry

topic: Law, Stories, Slavery, Funny Story

I just heard a very funny story about somebody who died yesterday, I'm sorry to say so but it was so absurd that you can't help laughing. And the person that was concerned about that story was laughing too

- Sophie Marceau

topic: Sorry, Yesterday, Laughing, Funny Story

I've always loved the blues, ever since I was a kid. It has a depth to it that a lot of contemporary music doesn't have. It has pain and suffering in it, but funny stories, too. And it is built on storytelling, which is something I really love.

- Nickolas Ashford

topic: Pain, Kids, Suffering, Funny Story, Contemporary Music

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed.

- Ned Vizzini

topic: Wish, Answers, Sometimes, Funny Story, Easy Answers

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

- Brian P. Cleary

topic: Kids, Laughing, Bored, Funny Story

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that… Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. And we laugh, we laugh, with a will, in the beginning. But it's always the same thing. Yes, it's like the funny story we have heard too often, we still find it funny, but we don't laugh any more.

- Samuel Beckett

topic: Laughing, Stories, World, Comical, Funny Story

Here's what I really love: I love a funny story that I can tag a serious line on the end of.

- Max Lucado

source: Source: www.preaching.com

topic: Stories, Lines, Tag, Funny Story

Music appeared later. At first I was making people laugh with my funny stories. Live and on TV too. It was great, but I started to think that people will soon get bored from it. I have said to myself: "If you are going to go on being a superstar, you have to sing!"

- Verka Serduchka

topic: Thinking, Bored, People, Funny Story

I have a funny story to tell about English and how I came to fall in love with the language. I was desperate to fit in and spoke English all the time. Trouble was, in my household it was a no-no to speak English because somehow it is disrespectful to call parents and grandparents "you" - impersonal pronouns are offensive in Vietnamese.

- Andrew Lam

source: "‘Birds of Paradise Lost’: A Conversation With Author Andrew Lam". Interview with Anna Challet, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 5, 2013.

topic: Falling In Love, Speak English, Grandparent, Pronouns, Funny Story

If 'heartache' sounds exaggerated then surely you have never gone to your garden one rare morning in June to find that the frost, without any perceptible motive, any hope of personal gain, has quietly killed your strawberry blossoms, tomatoes, lima and green beans, corn, squash, cucumbers. A brilliant sun is now smiling at this disaster with an insenstive cheerfulness as out of place as a funny story would be if someone you loved had just died.

- Ruth Stout

source: Ruth Stout (1987). “How to Have a Green Thumb Without an Aching Back: A New Method of Mulch Gardening”, Fireside

topic: Morning, Garden, June, Cucumbers, Funny Story

Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.

- Matt Groening

topic: Funny, People, Mad, Funny Story

Coca-Cola remains emblematic of the best and worst of America and Western civilization. The history of Coca-Cola is the often funny story of a group of men obsessed with putting a trivial soft drink "within an arm's reach of desire." But at the same time, it is a microcosm of American history. Coca-Cola grew up with the country, shaping and shaped by the times. The drink not only helped to alter consumption patterns, but attitudes toward leisure, work, advertising, sex, family life, and patriotism.

- Mark Pendergrast

topic: Country, Sex, Attitude, Soft Drinks, Funny Story

The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.

- Christopher Moore

topic: Jobs, Dirty, Woven, Funny Story, Dirty Jobs

I got to draw monsters, robots and write funny stories. I loved doing that stuff and working with the actors. But it got to be less and less that stuff and more about trying to be everywhere and not being able to do one thing very enjoyably.

- Jhonen Vasquez

topic: Writing, Trying, Monsters, Funny Story

I found that I could write two kinds of short stories: I could write very absurd, kind of surrealistic, funny stories; or I could write very dark, realistic - hyper-realistic - stories. I was never happy with that, because I couldn't meld the two.

- Dennis Lehane

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com. August 1999.

topic: Writing, Dark, Two, Funny Story

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

- Nikolai Gogol

topic: Sad, Stories, Looks, Funny Story, Really Sad Break Up

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

- Daniel Handler

topic: Tree, Together, Different, Funny Story

Probably the most difficult scene to film was the one where I'm attacked. I haven't thought about it in a while because, in hindsight, you make jokes about it and you get funny stories from it. When I was talking about it earlier today, I started to realize that it took a couple days probably to get over. Even if you can laugh about it, it's still the physical things that your body has to go through, it's pretty insane.

- Elizabeth Olsen

source: Source: www.interviewmagazine.com

topic: Couple, Laughing, Insane, Funny Story

ʺWhy,ʺ he began slowly, ʺis Victor Dashkov joining us?ʺ ʺWell, itʹs kind of a funny story . . .ʺ

- Richelle Mead

topic: Joining, Stories, Kind, Funny Story

This is a funny story. We'd asked the guards every day for cappuccino. You know, just as a joke. And they'd come in with their cups of coffee and stuff. And so I get here and I have a spot for a cappuccino machine, and it didn't work. So I don't have any cappuccino ... I didn't miss the cappuccino, I missed the idea of cappuccino.

- Martha Stewart

topic: Coffee, Ideas, Missing, Funny Story, Cappuccino

Yes, we could talk to you for days on end about all the bad first dates. Those are stories. Funny stories. Awkward stories. Stories we love to share, because by sharing them, we get something out of the hour or two we wasted on the wrong person. But that's all bad first dates are: short stories. Good first dates are more than short stories. They are first chapters. On a good first date, everything is springtime. And when a good first date becomes a relationship, the springtime lingers. Even after it's over, there can be springtime.

- David Levithan

topic: Two, Awkward, Stories, Funny Story, First Date

Kyria Abrahams, former teen bride of a doomsday cult and seeker of salvation in slam poetry, tells the terribly funny story of her improbable life with candor, wit, and an unsparing eye for the perfect detail. Brilliant.

- Janice Erlbaum

topic: Eye, Perfect, Stories, Funny Story, Doomsday

Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the movies. You start to have inside jokes and gallows humor. You have all kinds of things you laugh at, but as soon as you tell somebody, the joke falls flat because they don't know the context of it.

- Bruce Campbell

source: Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. February 11, 2009.

topic: Fall, People, Laughing, Gallows, Inside Jokes

In fact, one of the funny stories from that set [of Hail, Caesar!] is we were shooting my scene, and around lunchtime, Terrence Malick shows up on set. He was uninvited and no one knew who he was. But I knew, just looking at him. I was like, "Holy moley, that's Terrence Malick!" So I went and told the PA, "Hey, Terrence Malick is here, and I think he wants to see the Coen brothers. He wants to talk to Joel and Ethan." He just showed up unannounced, uninvited, and I guess they spent their lunch hour with him.

- David Krumholtz

source: Source: www.avclub.com

topic: Brother, Thinking, Lunch, Funny Story, Lunchtime

I have one funny story - because we knew we don't have fangs. But I remember I told Billy (Tangradi) "Dude, where's your fangs?", and he was flipping out because then he would have to run back to the hair and make-up trailer, they would be like "You don't have fangs." and then he'd run back and I'm like, "Dude, where's your fangs," It was great. A little easy.

- Kellan Lutz

source: Source: www.twilightlexicon.com

topic: Running, Hair, Would Be, Trailers, Funny Story

The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities.

- Mindy Kaling

topic: Funny, Birthday, Racism, Funny Story

I tried to go to community college for a while, and it's a funny story. I walked into the English class on the first day, and they told us to write about what we did over the summer. I can't remember exactly, but I think I walked out exactly at that point and went to the office to ask for my money back.

- Zach Condon

source: Source: pitchfork.com

topic: Summer, Writing, College, English Class, Funny Story

After a while some of the houseguests at Big Brother can become a little bit high maintenance so they're going to find everything to be irritating. We don't really try to show it on the show. How interesting is that? But we can make a funny story out of it when they complain, complain, complain.

- Julie Chen

source: Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com

topic: Brother, Interesting, Trying, Funny Story

In the first batch of readers, back in the '60s and '70s, the criminal class was still literate, so I would get letters from people in prison; they thought that I was somebody whom they could shop-talk with, and they would tell me very funny stories. I got a lot of those. Guys who were going to wind up doing 10 to 15 for bank robbery, yes, were reading my books.

- Donald E. Westlake

source: Source: www.avclub.com

topic: Book, Reading, People, Funny Story

Funny story: I was hanging out with Adam Shankman for Samantha Ronson's birthday, and Lance Bass was there. I don't really know Lance, but he comes over to me and goes, 'Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm a fan of 'Pretty Little Liars' and I'm rooting for your character.' It was surreal! That's how 'PLL' has changed my life.

- Ryan Guzman

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Liars, Character, Fans, Funny Story, Samantha

I can get by and chatter and talk and tell funny stories, make people laugh, but I don't have as many words, I don't have the vocabulary. I think if I forced myself to read in Spanish - you know, I always say I'm going to, but I lose my patience reading in Spanish, because I really do read the way a third grader does, mouthing the words. That takes a long time!

- Sandra Cisneros

source: "Talking in Our Pajamas: A Conversation with Sandra Cisneros on Finding Your Voice, Fear of Highways, Tacos, Travel, and the Need for Peace in the World". Interview with Ruth Behar, quod.lib.umich.edu. 2008.

topic: Reading, Thinking, Vocabulary, Funny Story

Writing a funny story is one thing. But writing a funny story that inspires others to venture beyond their level of comfort in pursuit of their greater good is what makes me come alive.

- Romany Malco

source: Interview with Maranda Pleasant, www.marandapleasantmedia.com.

topic: Writing, Inspire, Comfort, Funny Story

I'm 42 and the age of a guy who has kids, so I guess I'm playing right where I'm supposed to be. I'm comfortable with that, but in the same breath I'd do something edgy. If someone came to me and offered me an edgy and funny story, then I'd do it.

- Eddie Murphy

topic: Kids, Guy, Age, Funny Story

I don't know if I was always an open person, but I think stand-up comics specifically have this way of running towards embarrassing things - whereas regular people tend to run away - because the embarrassing story is always going to be the really funny story.

- Aisha Tyler

source: Source: www.glamour.com

topic: Running, Thinking, People, Funny Story

The character and the actor in a long-running series slowly become one. I think there must be funny stories about actors who, in the pilot for a TV series, did some weird thing with their eyes, or some speech impediment or something, and the next thing you know, it's eight years later, and they're still doing that freaking gag.

- William H. Macy

topic: Running, Character, Eye, Speech Impediment, Funny Story

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.

- Jeff Kinney

topic: Writing, Thinking, Childhood, Funny Story

You know, I've always wrote my best stuff when it takes me hardly any time at all. Actually I wrote.....this is actually a really funny story...'Ghost Of Vincent Price', I've been wanting to write a song about Vincent Price coz he's one of my favorite characters of all time.

- Wednesday 13

topic: Song, Writing, Character, Funny Story, Favorite Characters