Funny Dog Quotes:

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

- Dave Barry

topic: Dog, Car, Pet, Spaniels, Inspirational Dog

Whoever said you can't buy Happiness forgot little puppies.

- Gene Hill

source: Gene Hill (2013). “A Hunter's Fireside Book: Tales of Dogs, Ducks, Birds, & Guns”, p.62, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

topic: Dog, Nature, Silly, Bulldogs, Spaniels

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

- Charles M. Schulz

topic: Hope, Dog, Yesterday, Snoopy, Pet Dog

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

- Lewis Grizzard

topic: Leadership, Dog, Race, Change Of Scenery, Dogs And Life

People who keep dogs are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

- August Strindberg

topic: Dog, People, Pet, Barking Dogs, Dog Bite

Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!

- Anne Tyler

source: Anne Tyler (1991). “Anne Tyler: a new collection : three complete novels”, Outlet

topic: Funny, Dog, Mean, I Love My Dog, Long Haul

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

- Fran Lebowitz

topic: Dog, Silly, Animal, Lost Dog, Cat Dog

If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.

- Karel Capek

topic: Funny, Dog, People, Dogs Tumblr, Cute Dog

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

- Josh Billings

topic: Inspirational, Dog, Money, Man And Dog, Wag The Dog

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

- Groucho Marx

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Friendship, Education, Joy Of Reading, Inspirational Dog

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

- Andy Rooney

topic: Inspirational, Dog, Silly, Niceness, I Love My Dog

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

- Mark Twain

topic: Funny, Inspiring, Dog, Man And Dog, Prosperous

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

- Mark Twain

topic: Cute, Religious, Dog, Man And Dog, Inspirational Animal

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.

- Gilda Radner

source: Gilda Radner (2015). “It's Always Something”, p.6, Simon and Schuster

topic: Dog, Unconditional Love, Thinking, Man And Dog, Bulldogs

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.

- Aldous Huxley

topic: Dog, Animal, Men, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

- Edward Abbey

topic: Friendship, Dog, Silly, Man And Dog, Cat And Dog

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

- Johnny Depp

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Love, Dog, Baby, Man And Dog, I Love My Dog

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

- Josh Billings

topic: Love, Friendship, Dog, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

- Robert Benchley

source: Robert Benchley (1976). “Chips Off the Old Benchley”, Amereon Limited

topic: Dog, Perseverance, Lying, Man And Dog, I Love My Dog

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

- Robert Benchley

source: Robert Benchley (1976). “Chips Off the Old Benchley”, Amereon Limited

topic: Dog, Children, Pet, Dachshunds, Puppies And Dogs

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

- Robert A. Heinlein

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Kitties, Inspirational Cat

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.

- Woodrow Wilson

topic: Inspiring, Dog, Silly, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

- Will Rogers

topic: Cute, Dog, Sorry, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?

- Eleanor Porter

source: Eleanor Porter (2003). “Pollyanna”, ePenguin

topic: Dog, Cat, Pet, Cat And Dog, Faithful Dogs

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

- Edmund Wilson

topic: Dog, Never Change, Scenery, Change Of Scenery, Poodle Dogs

If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

- Alfred North Whitehead

source: Alfred North Whitehead, Lucien Price (2001). “Dialogues of Alfred North Whitehead”, p.183, David R. Godine Publisher

topic: Dog, Cat, Animal, Inspirational Animal, Inspirational Cat

Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.

- Roger Caras

source: Roger A. Caras (1982). “A Celebration of Dogs”, Crown

topic: Faith, Dog, Animal, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

- Steven Wright

topic: Funny, Dog, Silly, Funny Dog, Funny Puppy

A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.

- Jack London

source: Jack London (2015). “The Road: Classic American Literature”, p.3, 谷月社

topic: Dog, Generosity, Giving, Philanthropic, Charity And Giving

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.

- John Steinbeck

topic: Dog, Eye, Thinking, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.

- Milan Kundera

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Letting Go, Dog, Stress, Bulldogs, Inspirational Dog

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

- Ann Landers

topic: Dog, Finding Yourself, Admiration, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

- Charles de Gaulle

topic: Funny Love, Dog, Men, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

- Doug Larson

topic: Dog, Home, School, First Day Of School, Computer Technology

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Friendship, Dog, Money, Making Friends, Cute Friendship

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.

- George Bird Evans

source: "Troubles with Bird Dogs, and what to Do about Them: Training Experiences with Actual Dogs Under the Gun". Book by George Bird Evans, 1975.

topic: Dog, Silly, Thinking, Man And Dog, Inspirational Dog

The more I know about men the more I like dogs.

- Gloria Allred

topic: Dog, Funny Relationship, Men, Funny Dog

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.

- Alexander Pope

topic: Loyalty, Dog, Silly, Lost Dog, Dog Lover

Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.

- Emily Dickinson

topic: Love, Inspirational, Life, Labrador Dogs, Stray Dogs

The dog is a yes-animal. Very popular with people who can't afford a yes man.

- Robertson Davies

source: Robertson Davies (1949). “The Table Talk of Samuel Marchbanks”, Clarke, Irwin

topic: Funny, Dog, Silly, Man And Dog, Dog Training

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.

- Edward Hoagland

source: Edward Hoagland (1976). “Red Wolves and Black Bears”, Random House Incorporated

topic: Dog, Nature, Silly, Old Shoes, Dog Lover

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails.

- Max Eastman

source: "Enjoyment of Laughter".

topic: Dog, Laughter, Laughing, Barking Dogs, Dog Lover

Noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it.

- Laurence J. Peter

source: Dr. Laurence J. Peter (2013). “Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Times”, p.53, Harper Collins

topic: Inspirational, Dog, Hands, Funny Dog, Hot Dog

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.

- Holbrook Jackson

topic: Friendship, Dog, Men, Old Dog, Dog Heaven

From the dog's point of view, his master is an elongated and abnormally cunning dog.

- Mabel Robinson

topic: Dog, Views, Masters, Dog Walking, Funny Dog

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne

- Madame Roland

topic: Dog, Men, Admire, Man And Dog, I Love My Dog

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

- Will Rogers

topic: Funny, Dog, Thinking, Man And Dog, Dog Best Friend

Dogs, the foremost snobs in creation, are quick to notice the difference between a well-clad and a disreputable stranger.

- Albert Payson Terhune

source: S. I. HAYAKAWA (1941). “LANGUAGE IN ACTION”

topic: Dog, Differences, Stranger, Poodle Dogs, Funny Dog