Funny Happy Halloween Quotes:

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do! I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."

- Rita Rudner

source: "Jokes over easy: 1,386 delicious jokes from the best comedians" by Judy Brown, Barnes & Noble, (p. 112), 2006.

topic: Halloween, Doors, People, Candy Corn, Cute Halloween

Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!

- William Shakespeare

source: 'Macbeth' (1606) act 4, sc. 1, l. 4

topic: Halloween, Memorable, Play, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day.

- Gwen Stefani

topic: Halloween, Band, Want, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

- Chris Rock

topic: Funny, Stars, Halloween, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Relationship, Fun, Halloween, Inspirational Halloween, Mother And Grandmother

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

- Mark Twain

topic: Funny, Fake People, Halloween, Inner Darkness, Dark Side

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown

- H. P. Lovecraft

source: H. P. Lovecraft (2014). “Complete Collection Of H. P. Lovecraft - 150 eBooks With 100+ Audiobooks (Complete Collection Of Lovecraft's Fiction, Juvenilia, Poems, Essays And Collaborations)”, p.11, Ageless Reads

topic: Fear, Halloween, Emotion, Fear Of The Unknown, Inspirational Halloween

I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.

- Henry David Thoreau

topic: Lonely, Halloween, Fall, Circulation, Malaria

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.

- Edgar Allan Poe

topic: Love, Dream, Art, Spiritual Darkness, Spooky

But I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.

- Evan Peters

source: "'American Horror Story' Season 2: Evan Peters Says It’s Really, Really Scary". Interview with Chris Jancelewicz, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 16, 2012.

topic: Halloween, Air, Feelings, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.

- Conan O'Brien

topic: Funny, Halloween, Sound, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

- Arthur Conan Doyle

topic: Halloween, Imagination, Scary, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

You wouldn't believe On All Hallow Eve What lots of fun we can make, With apples to bob, And nuts on the hob, And a ring-and-thimble cake.

- Carolyn Wells

topic: Fun, Halloween, Believe, Spooky Halloween, Christian Halloween

Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the "spirits" of things.

- Dee Snider

topic: Halloween, House, Spirit, Sound Effects, Inspirational Halloween

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Dog, Powerful, Halloween, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Bring forth the raisins and the nuts- Tonight All-Hallows' Spectre struts Along the moonlit way.

- John Kendrick Bangs

topic: Halloween, Nuts, Tonight, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Alone. Yes, that's the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.

- Stephen King

topic: Halloween, Keys, Awful, Synonym, Funny Happy Halloween

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery.

- Joseph Conrad

topic: Halloween, Moon, Night, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

As spirits roam the neighborhoods at night, Let loose upon the Earth till it be light...

- Nick Gordon

topic: Halloween, Night, Light, Spooky, Christian Halloween

Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve.... And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon.

- Elizabeth Kim

topic: Halloween, Dark, Moon, Inspirational Halloween, Christian Halloween

Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a lightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat...

- Nick Gordon

topic: Sweet, Halloween, Innocence, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

I don't know that there are real ghosts and goblins, But there are always more trick-or-treaters than neighborhood kids.

- Robert Breault

topic: Halloween, Real, Kids, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

- Charles S. Swartz

topic: Fun, Halloween, Nudists, Inspirational Halloween, Colony

On Halloween, witches come true; Wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park....

- Nick Gordon

topic: Dream, Halloween, Parks, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

'Tis the night - the night Of the grave's delight.

- Arthur Cleveland Coxe

source: Arthur Cleveland Coxe (1842). “Halloween: A Romaunt”, p.13

topic: Halloween, Night, Delight, Spooky Halloween, Spooky

Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world.

- William Shakespeare

source: 'Hamlet' (1601) act 3, sc. 2, l. [413]

topic: Halloween, Night, Denmark In Hamlet, Contagion, Inspirational Halloween

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

- Jean Baudrillard

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Revenge, Spooky Halloween, Spooky

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

- George Carlin

topic: Funny, Halloween, Moon, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

- Richard Harris Barham

topic: Funny, Halloween, Ghost, Inspirational Halloween, Christian Halloween

Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.

- Mason Cooley

topic: Autumn, Clothes, Costumes, Inspirational Halloween, Spooky Halloween

Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, Voices whisper in the trees, "Tonight is Halloween!"

- Dexter Kozen

topic: Halloween, Years, Voice, Thousand Years, Inspirational Halloween

Nothing on Earth is so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.

- Steve Almond

source: Steve Almond (2004). “Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America”, p.32, Algonquin Books

topic: Beautiful, Halloween, Night, Inspirational Halloween, Chocolate Bars

Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite, All are on their rounds tonight; In the wan moon's silver ray, Thrives their helter-skelter play.

- Joel Benton

source: Joel Benton, “Halloween”

topic: Halloween, Moon, Play, Christian Halloween, Pixies

Fear is nature's warning signal to get busy.

- Henry C. Link

topic: Halloween, Warning, Busy, Funny Halloween, Funny Happy Halloween

If ever there was a holiday that deserves to be commercialized, it's Halloween. We haven't taken it away from kids. We've just expanded it so that the kid in adults can enjoy it, too.

- Cassandra Peterson

topic: Trust, Halloween, Taken, Inspirational Halloween, Funny Halloween

When I was a kid, Halloween was strictly a starchy-vegetable-only holiday, with pumpkins and Indian corn on the front stoop; there was nothing electric, nothing inflatable, nothing with latex membranes or strobes.

- Susan Orlean

source: "Haunted" by Susan Orlean, www.newyorker.com. October 27, 2010.

topic: Halloween, Holiday, Kids, Latex, Funny Happy Halloween

Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.

- Fernando Pessoa

topic: Love, Halloween, Food, Yummy, Inspirational Halloween

Men fear death as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased by tales, so is the other.

- Francis Bacon

source: Essays "Of Death" (1625)

topic: Death, Fear, Children, Someone Dying, Someone Who Is Dying

I saw thousands of pumpkins last night come floating in on the tide, bumping up against the rocks and rolling up on the beaches; it must be Halloween in the sea

- Richard Brautigan

topic: Beach, Halloween, Night, Funny Happy Halloween, Rolling Up

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people... Religion, Politics, and The Great Pumpkin.

- Charles M. Schulz

topic: Halloween, People, Three, Religion Politics, Funny Halloween