Al Yankovic quotes

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.
-- Al Yankovic

#Father #Able #Life Is

I'm always a little leery about doing shows where I'm not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes. After that, I made the decision to headline no matter what, even if I was playing to seven people. I wanted people to be there to see me.
-- Al Yankovic

#People #Missing #Decision

Many years ago I found out something about hamburgers that really grossed me out. You may not know this, so I hope I don’t make you sick, but it turns out hamburgers are actually made out of dead cows. I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.
-- Al Yankovic

#Years #Sick #Hamburgers

In fact, when I come up with an idea for a parody I try to resist the urge to Google the idea to see if someone has done it already because the answer is almost always, "Yes, of course they have, they've thought of it!"
-- Al Yankovic

#Ideas #Google #Trying

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.
-- Al Yankovic

#Looks #Attention #Stuff

I don't watch a lot of other people's parodies because I don't want to be unduly influenced.
-- Al Yankovic

#People #Watches #Want

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.
-- Al Yankovic

#Doe #Stuff #Suits

In the '80s, I was the only game in town, I was the only one getting that kind of exposure in any rotation on MTV. Now with internet culture it seems like everyone is doing music parodies. And they're not all good!
-- Al Yankovic

#Mtv #Games #Towns

People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.
-- Al Yankovic

#School #People #Get Better

I'm free to do what I please, I'm probably not going to do albums. Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.
-- Al Yankovic

#Thinking #Track #Albums

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!
-- Al Yankovic

#Song #Hands #Careers

I've always known that if I recorded an album, it would come out, and people would enjoy it! Whereas if I wrote a movie script, chances are better than even that I'd just be another guy in L.A. with a movie script in his drawer.
-- Al Yankovic

#People #Guy #Albums

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.
-- Al Yankovic

#Important #Comedy #Geek

The music has always been my bread and butter, and I've focused more of my attention on that.
-- Al Yankovic

#Attention #Bread #Focused

That's a big part of my life - doing things that I'm not prepared to do. Doing things that I don't know how to do, and keep doing them until I get good at them. I always try to put myself out of my comfort zone and out of my depth, and hopefully somewhere along the line I'll catch up.
-- Al Yankovic

#Trying #Depth #Comfort

Sometimes I get, "Have you ever thought about doing real music?" I like to think the music I do is real, it just happens to be funny.
-- Al Yankovic

#Real #Thinking #Sometimes

There's a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody. There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea. Some songs are too repetitive for me to be able to fashion a humorous set of lyrics around. Some songs flat-out just don't work creatively for me.
-- Al Yankovic

#Fashion #Song #Clever

I try not to go the obvious route all the time, but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.
-- Al Yankovic

#Trying #Sometimes #Obvious

I'm a music fan, and I can listen to the radio, or music, without thinking, "How am I going to screw this up?" [Laughs] If I'm really actively trying to think of a parody, then I'll have my antenna out, and be a little more proactive about it.
-- Al Yankovic

#Thinking #Laughing #Trying

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.
-- Al Yankovic

#Velvet #Weight

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but don't step on my blue suede shoes.
-- Al Yankovic

#Blue #Shoes #Trying

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.
-- Al Yankovic

#Bottles #Records #Coke

How can you get bored if the audience is cheering and laughing at something you're doing?
-- Al Yankovic

#Cheer #Laughing #Bored

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.
-- Al Yankovic

#Artist #Years #Supportive

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.
-- Al Yankovic

#Bagels #Faces #Pitchforks

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.
-- Al Yankovic

#Self #Gas Stations #Use

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.
-- Al Yankovic

#Inspirational #Keys #Gusto

My wife went off with Elvis.
-- Al Yankovic

#Wife #My Wife

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much dough, he means more to me than some old Rembrandt or Van Gogh.
-- Al Yankovic

#Mean #Velvet #World

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.
-- Al Yankovic

#Death #Years #Long

I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!
-- Al Yankovic

#Art #Humble

People say releasing an album is like giving birth, but it’s more like having a gallbladder operation.
-- Al Yankovic

#Giving #People #Albums

People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
-- Al Yankovic

#Funny #Thinking #People

I love the way they run in fright when I turn on the kitchen light. And when I squish them on the ground, they make a pleasant crunchy sound.
-- Al Yankovic

#Running #Animal #Light

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will.
-- Al Yankovic

#Healing #Heart #Sadness

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.
-- Al Yankovic

#Relationship #Problem

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.
-- Al Yankovic

#Relationship #Towers #Bungee

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.
-- Al Yankovic

#Night #Reality #Dinner

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.
-- Al Yankovic

#Space #Aliens #Kind

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.
-- Al Yankovic

#Suicide #Blow #Brain

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.
-- Al Yankovic

#Peace #Military #War

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it with the whole hockey team.
-- Al Yankovic

#Self Esteem #Team #Hockey

When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey.
-- Al Yankovic

#Beautiful #Honesty #Everyday

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I'm praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.
-- Al Yankovic

#Revenge #Sight #Trying

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.
-- Al Yankovic

#Revenge #Gay #Teeth

Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.
-- Al Yankovic

#Color #Buttons #Belly

What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?
-- Al Yankovic

#Artist #Austin #Kind

When I go to my live shows it's often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.
-- Al Yankovic

#Shows #Bonding #Audience

Whenever I do a parody it's not meant to make you hate anybody's music really.
-- Al Yankovic

#Hate #Parody

If something is good enough, it can be out there and people will see it.
-- Al Yankovic

#People #Good Enough #Enough

It's hard to force creativity and humor.
-- Al Yankovic

#Creativity #Force

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.
-- Al Yankovic

#Honesty #Nintendo #Salt

My brothers and sisters hated me because I was an only child.
-- Al Yankovic

#Brother #Children #Only Child

Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.
-- Al Yankovic

#Miserable #You Left Me #Dear

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.
-- Al Yankovic

#Low Self Esteem #Scum #Licking

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.
-- Al Yankovic

#Art #Media #Feet

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.
-- Al Yankovic

#Art #Wrestling #Media

Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.
-- Al Yankovic

#Art #Media #Naked

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising cattle.
-- Al Yankovic

#Musical #Albums #Band

No Joni Mitchell 8 track tapes in my car.
-- Al Yankovic

#Track #Car #Musical

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I haven't been in a crowd like this since I went to see the Who.
-- Al Yankovic

#Blue #Musical #Fans

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.
-- Al Yankovic

#Block #Kids #Play

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra, but they're not afraid of wolves.
-- Al Yankovic

#Boys #Games #Nuclear

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.
-- Al Yankovic

#Albums #Medley #Polka

There's enough people that do unfunny music. I'll leave the serious stuff to Paris Hilton and Kevin Federline.
-- Al Yankovic

#Paris #People #Stuff