Sam Kinison Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Marriage #Wedding Anniversary #Years
“Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Folks
“Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Art #Comedy #Form
“It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!”
-- Sam Kinison

#Moving #People #World
“I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Funny #Three #Cost
“There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Running #Jail #Happy Endings
“Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Nice #Rap #Men
“I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Jesus #Order #Rocks
“When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Men #Target #Comedy
“With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'”
-- Sam Kinison

#People #Hey #Fans
“Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It's like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Christian #Rocks #Names
“Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Real #Thinking #Laughing
“Obviously I'm not a role model for impressionable youth.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Role Models #Roles #Youth
“Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!”
-- Sam Kinison

#Jesus #Guy #Scare
“Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Mad #Justified #Rage
“I'd rather entertain people than offend them.”
-- Sam Kinison

#People
“I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Style #Deny #Life Style
“I'm attracted to heartbreakers.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Heartbreaker
“Everything can be satirized.”
-- Sam Kinison
“Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Rap #Guy #Style
“If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Lying #Together #Telling The Truth
“AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Compassion #People #Disease
“Every generation has someone who steps outside the norm and offers a voice for the unspeakable attitudes of that time. I represent everything that's supposed to be wrong, everything that's forbidden.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Attitude #Voice #Generations
“I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.”
-- Sam Kinison

#People #Comedian #Want
“Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!”
-- Sam Kinison

#Wake Up #Lost #Worst
“I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I'd already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Couple #Church #One Day
“You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That's a tough crowd.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Morning #People #Laughing
“If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Funny Marriage #Guy #Want
“I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.”
-- Sam Kinison

#Views #Two #Missing
“What happened? Satan was busy?”
-- Sam Kinison

#Funny #Divorce #Busy

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