Victor Borge Quotes and Sayings - Page 1

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“Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Christmas #Witty
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”
-- Victor Borge

#Inspirational #Cute #Relationship
“In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.”
-- Victor Borge

#Dream #Heaven #Masters
“I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Sarcastic #Money
“I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.”
-- Victor Borge

#Mind #Growing #Aging
“Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Air #Order
“I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Eggs #Elevators
“The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Sarcastic #Sarcasm
“I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.”
-- Victor Borge

#Request
“When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Sarcastic #Stars
“Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.”
-- Victor Borge

#Two #Towns #Three
“(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?”
-- Victor Borge

#Piano #Shapes #Opera
“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Sarcastic #Witty
“Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.”
-- Victor Borge

#Piano #People #Arms
“Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Symphony #Scotch
“In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.”
-- Victor Borge

#Youth #Found #Wanted
“(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?”
-- Victor Borge

#Responding #Audience
“It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Snakes #India
“They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Fire #Nero
“Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #War #Critics
“I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.”
-- Victor Borge

#Funny #Sarcastic #Children
“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.”
-- Victor Borge

#Father #Home #Years
“Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.”
-- Victor Borge

#Two #Piano #People
“The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.”
-- Victor Borge

#Jobs #Essence #Important
“The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.”
-- Victor Borge

#Music #Player #Peculiar
“Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.”
-- Victor Borge

#Book #Reading #Upset
“(Shortly after Germany forced Denmark to sign a non-aggression pact in 1939) How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us.”
-- Victor Borge

#Nice #Sleep #Knowing
“The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all.”
-- Victor Borge

#Piano #Long #Firsts
“There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane.”
-- Victor Borge

#Christian
“Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.”
-- Victor Borge

#Humor #Men #Logic

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