I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
topic: Funny, Cute, Sarcastic, Old Jokes, Dark Sarcasm

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
topic: Funny, Life, Death, Humor Love, Dark Sarcasm
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.
topic: Funny, Happiness, Hilarious, Spiritual Happiness, Insults You
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
topic: Funny, Clever, Addresses, Simile, Classic Insult
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious, Bridal Shower, Wordplay
[on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
source: "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.
topic: Life, Music, Sarcastic, Classic Insult
He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.
source: "The Works of Oscar Wilde".
topic: Funny, Friendship, Sarcastic, Dark Sarcasm, Classic Insult
He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea, and that was wrong.
source: 'Sybil' (1845) bk. 4, ch. 5.
topic: Sarcastic, Work, Ignorance, Classic Insult
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
source: Beasts and Super-Beasts (1914) "The Feast of Nemesis"
topic: Sarcastic, Witty, Powerful, Classic Insult
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
topic: Wise, Stupid, People, Classic Insult
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
topic: Wise, Dumb, Insults You, Classic Insult
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
topic: Book, Reading, Beer, Classic Insult
He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up
topic: Running, Clever, Spine, Life Humor, Classic Insult
topic: Hard Work, Instinct, Quaker, Classic Insult
Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.
topic: Life, Night, Firsts, Classic Insult, Repartee
I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.
topic: Life, Night, Play, Classic Insult, Repartee
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
topic: Witty, Book, Reading, Classic Insult
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
topic: Sarcasm, Spite, Nature Love, Classic Insult, Sarcastic One Liners
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
source: Sir Winston Churchill (1965). “The Churchill Wit”
topic: Life, Humorous, Vices, Admire You, Like And Dislike