Don't Drink And Drive Quotes:

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Funny, Drinking, Book, Drinking And Driving, Drinkers

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

- Dean Martin

source: "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Funny Sarcastic, Inspirational Golf

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

- Robert Benchley

source: "Fictional character: Mr. Albert Osborne". "The Major and the Minor", www.imdb.com. September 16, 1942.

topic: Funny, Witty, Humorous, Don't Drink Alcohol, Don't Drink And Drive

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

- Jack Lemmon

topic: Funny, Music, Morning, Sorry Men, Irish Beer

A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.

- Woody Allen

topic: Self, Tree, Defense, Drinking And Driving, Tree Of Life

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

- Clement Freud

source: Quoted in Observer (London), 27 Dec. 1964.

topic: Funny, Witty, Giving Up, Drank, Champagne Drinking

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

- Nancy Astor

topic: Time, Educational, Want, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

- George Carlin

topic: Band, Radio, Sake, Don't Drink And Drive, Drink And Drive

I'm the most cynical person, and I know what that sounds like when you say, I don't drink and drive, and I don't. But I know people look at that with skepticism, and I understand.

- Tracey Gold

topic: People, Cynical, Looks, Don't Drink And Drive, Drink And Drive

Hi, I'm Jeff Healy of the Jeff Healy band. Don't drink and drive. I don't... you're blind!

- Jeff Healey

topic: Band, Blind, Drink, Don't Drink And Drive, Drink And Drive

I am going to give you a piece of advice... advice I wish I'd been told in guidance class back in high school, in between the don't-do-acid and don't-drink-and-drive films. I wish our counselors had told us, 'When you grow older a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It's called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don't. Here is the list of the symptoms, and don't worry—loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact—loneliness will pass. You will survive and you will be a better human for it.

- Douglas Coupland

source: Douglas Coupland (1993). “Shampoo Planet”, p.130, Simon and Schuster

topic: Loneliness, School, Thinking, Counselor, Don't Drink And Drive