Funny Grandmother Quotes:

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

- Gene Perret

topic: Grandma, Believe, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Doors, Grandparent, Discipline, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

- Albert Einstein

topic: Mom, Grandmother, Science, Nans, Mother And Grandmother

The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.

- Doug Larson

topic: Grandchildren, Views, Ideas, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

- Pam Brown

topic: Wise, Mother, Grandma, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

- Sam Levenson

topic: Inspirational, Family, Children, Grandson, Mother And Grandmother

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

- Gene Perret

source: Gene Perret (2001). “Grandchildren Are So Much Fun We Should Have Had Them First”, Arizona Highways

topic: Children, Grandmother, Grandparent, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.

- Lois Wyse

source: Lois Wyse (2011). “Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother”, p.39, Harmony

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Glowing, Grandson, My Grandfather

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Relationship, Fun, Halloween, Inspirational Halloween, Mother And Grandmother

To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid.

- Robert Breault

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Grandpa, Grandkids, Children And Grandchildren

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

- Sam Levenson

topic: Children, Grandma, Grandmother, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

- Henny Youngman

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Good Life, Drinking, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

- Gene Perret

source: Gene Perret (2001). “Grandchildren Are So Much Fun We Should Have Had Them First”, Arizona Highways

topic: Grandma, Grandmother, Grandpa, Children And Grandchildren, Funny Grandmother

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

- Andy Rooney

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Elephants, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.

- Rudy Giuliani

topic: Children, Kindness, Life Lesson, My Grandfather, Mother Grandmother

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.

- Alex Haley

source: Reader's Digest, 1987.

topic: Life, Children, Grandmother, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

- Gene Perret

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Grandparent, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.

- Lois Wyse

source: Lois Wyse (2011). “Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother”, p.9, Harmony

topic: Mother, Children, Grandma, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.

- Gore Vidal

topic: Grandma, Grandmother, Grandchildren, Grandson, My Grandfather

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children.

- Bill Cosby

topic: Inspirational, Children, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

- Gene Perret

source: Gene Perret (2001). “Grandchildren Are So Much Fun We Should Have Had Them First”, Arizona Highways

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Grandparent, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

- Lord Chesterfield

topic: Funny, Brother, Grandma, Brothers And Sisters, Mother And Grandmother

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.

- Gene Perret

source: Gene Perret (2001). “Grandchildren Are So Much Fun We Should Have Had Them First”, Arizona Highways

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Self, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me.

- Phyllis Grissim-Theroux

topic: Grandmother, Grandparent, Bless, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Uncles and aunts, and cousins, are all very well, and fathers and mothers are not to be despised; but a grandmother, at holiday time, is worth them all.

- Fanny Fern

source: Fanny Fern (2016). “Folly as It Flies”, p.25, The Floating Press

topic: Mother, Cousin, Uncles, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

- Gene Perret

topic: Grandma, Grandmother, Grandchildren, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it!

- Hannah Whitall Smith

topic: Fun, Grandmother, People, Mother Grandmother, Mothers Day Grandma

Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being.

- Margaret Mead

source: Margaret Mead (1972). “Blkberry Winter”

topic: Grandchildren, Order, Grandparent, Mother Grandmother, Mothers Day Grandma

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

- Teresa Bloomingdale

topic: Beautiful, Baby, Grandma, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

- Ellen DeGeneres

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Life, Birthday, Mother Grandmother, Mothers Day Grandma

Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.

- Gene Perret

source: Gene Perret (2001). “Grandchildren Are So Much Fun We Should Have Had Them First”, Arizona Highways

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Naps, My Grandchildren, Children And Grandchildren

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

- Dave Barry

source: Dave Barry (1984). “Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home”, p.54, Rodale

topic: Baby, Grandma, Grandmother, My Grandfather, Mother Grandmother

Varicose veins are the result of an improper selection of grandparents.

- William Osler

topic: Grandparent, Veins, Results, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo."

- Robert Breault

topic: Dog, Children, Grandmother, My Grandfather, Great Grandfather

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

- J. Norman Collie

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Men, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: Motivational, Cute, Growing Up, Live And Learn, My Grandfather

Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap.

- Liv Ullmann

topic: Baby, Grandma, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Posterity is the patriotic name for grandchildren.

- Art Linkletter

topic: Patriotic, Grandchildren, Names, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture.

- Susan Strasberg

source: Susan Strasberg (1981). “Bitter Sweet”

topic: Home, Grandparent, Aroma, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

I would love to go back and travel the road not taken, if I knew at the end of it I'd find the same set of grandkids.

- Robert Breault

topic: Taken, Grandmother, Grandpa, Children And Grandchildren, Funny Grandmother

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

- Gene Perret

topic: Basketball, Mean, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

I am not ashamed of my grandparents for having been slaves. I am only ashamed of myself for having at one time being ashamed.

- Ralph Ellison

source: Ralph Ellison (2010). “Invisible Man”, p.40, Vintage

topic: Grandparent, African American, Slave, Funny Grandmother, Best Grandparents

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.

- Lewis Mumford

topic: Family, Father, Grandparent, My Grandfather, Generation Gap

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

- Lois Wyse

topic: Grandchildren, Grandparent, Would Be, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

- Doug Larson

topic: Fighting, Grandchildren, Grandparent, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.

- Sam Levenson

source: Sam Levenson (2016). “You Don't Have to Be in Who's Who to Know What's What: The Choice Wit and Wisdom of Sam Levenson”, p.1, Open Road Media

topic: Grandmother, Grandparent, Grandfather, Grandkids, Children And Grandchildren

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

- Gene Perret

topic: Grandmother, Grandchildren, Grandparent, My Grandfather, Mother And Grandmother

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

- Charlie Day

source: "Monster Madness for Charlie Day". Interview with Angela Dawson, frontrowfeatures.com. July 08, 2013.

topic: Dad, Grandmother, Class, Funny Guy, Extremely Funny