Funny Wedding Speech Quotes:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Marriage, Humorous Valentine, Marriage Advice

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Funny, Thinking, Men, Funny Wedding Speech

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

- Mickey Rooney

source: "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. May 15, 2010.

topic: Marriage, Morning, Work, Humorous Valentine, Funny Valentines Day

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

- Woody Allen

topic: Marriage, Funny Love, Best Love, Humorous Love, Marriage Engagement

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Love, Marriage, Secret, Husband To Be, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Marriage, Men, Wife, Marriage Jokes, Marriage Speech

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic, Humor Love, Jury

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

topic: Love, Funny, Marriage, Humorous Love, Humorous Valentine

Marriage is like a golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.

- Khalil Gibran

topic: Love, Marriage, Wedding, Marriage Speech, Marriage Toast

We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.

- Walter Rauschenbusch

topic: Wedding, Realizing, Wedding Speech, Reception, Wedding Toast

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

- Agatha Christie

source: Attributed in Bennett Cerf, The Life of the Party (1956)

topic: Love, Funny, Birthday, Husband To Be, Marriage Humor

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

source: Terre des Hommes ch. 8 (1939)

topic: Love, Inspirational, Life, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Soulmate Love

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.

- Saint Augustine

topic: Love, Beauty, Wedding, Soul Beauty, Souls In Love

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

- Martin Luther

topic: Love, Relationship, Family, Husband To Be, Husband Wife

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

- Emily Bronte

source: Wuthering Heights ch. 9 (1847)

topic: Love, Anniversary, Romantic, Make Me Feel Special, Marriage And Love Inspirational

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

- Robert Frost

topic: Marriage, Funny Love, Men, Marriage Jokes, Marriage Speech

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

- Red Skelton

topic: Inspiration, Names, Missing, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

- Herbert V. Prochnow

topic: Birthday, Wife, Way, Humorous Birthday, Husband To Be

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Crazy, Marriage And Divorce, Marriage Divorce

Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.

- Maryon Pearson

topic: Marriage, Men, Behind Every Great Man, Marriage Advice, Marriage Humor

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

- Dorothy Parker

topic: Marriage, Stupid, Men, Marriage Speech, Wedding Marriage

Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.

- Voltaire

topic: Love, Romantic, Girlfriend, St Valentine, Law Of Attraction Love

They do not love that do not show their love.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Love, Marriage, Wedding, Showing Love, Reception

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

- Clint Eastwood

topic: Marriage, Single, Learning, Marriage Is Hard, What Is Marriage

Without love, the world itself would not survive.

- Lope de Vega

topic: Wedding, World, Wedding Speech, Wedding Toast, Funny Wedding Speech