Funny Wedding Toast Quotes:

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

- Robert Frost

topic: Marriage, Funny Love, Men, Marriage Jokes, Marriage Speech

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

- Herbert V. Prochnow

topic: Birthday, Wife, Way, Humorous Birthday, Husband To Be

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

- Red Skelton

topic: Inspiration, Names, Missing, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

- Ogden Nash

source: Ogden Nash, “A Word To Husbands”

topic: Inspirational, Life, Inspirational Life, Marriage Advice, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

- Woody Allen

topic: Marriage, Funny Love, Best Love, Humorous Love, Marriage Engagement

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

topic: Marriage, Men, Wife, Husband Wife, Marriage Humor

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Marriage, Letting Go, Hands, Marriage Humor, Marriage Jokes

Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.

- William Wordsworth

topic: I Love You, Birthday, Marriage, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Marriage Speech

They do not love that do not show their love.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Love, Marriage, Wedding, Showing Love, Reception

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.

- Shirley MacLaine

topic: Funny, Anniversary, Husband, Funny Wedding Toast

We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.

- Walter Rauschenbusch

topic: Wedding, Realizing, Wedding Speech, Reception, Wedding Toast

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

- Homer

source: Homer (1983). “The Odyssey”, Outlet

topic: Love, Marriage, Wedding, Inspirational Wedding, Wedding Marriage

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

source: In Newsweek 28 Mar. 1960, p. 89

topic: Love, Funny, Marriage, Incompleteness, Marriage And Love Inspirational

Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.

- Saint Augustine

topic: Love, Beauty, Wedding, Soul Beauty, Souls In Love

You know you're in love when you stop comparing.

- Mason Cooley

topic: Love, Romantic, Wedding, Impress A Girl, Say I Love You

If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

- A. A. Milne

topic: Love, Friendship, Positive, Tigger, Bff

One word Frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

- Sophocles

source: "Oedipus at Colonus". Play by Sophocles, Lines 1616-1618,

topic: Love, Life, Wedding, Love Pain, Special Moments

Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

source: Terre des Hommes ch. 8 (1939)

topic: Love, Inspirational, Life, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Soulmate Love

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

- Rita Rudner

topic: Love, Funny, Marriage, Humorous Love, Humorous Valentine

Marriage is like a golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.

- Khalil Gibran

topic: Love, Marriage, Wedding, Marriage Speech, Marriage Toast

I asked you here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

- Graeme Simsion

source: Graeme Simsion (2014). “The Rosie Project: A Novel”, p.267, Simon and Schuster

topic: Love, Cute, Tonight, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Marriage Ceremony

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

- Rita Rudner

source: Rita Rudner (2008). “I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething”, p.86, Crown Archetype

topic: Funny, Marriage, Pain, Marriage Advice, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

- Emily Bronte

source: Wuthering Heights ch. 9 (1847)

topic: Love, Anniversary, Romantic, Make Me Feel Special, Marriage And Love Inspirational

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

- Nora Ephron

source: Nora Ephron (2011). “When Harry Met Sally. . .”, p.97, Knopf

topic: Love, Marriage, Want, My Girlfriend, Worthy Of Love

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

- Martin Luther

topic: Love, Relationship, Family, Husband To Be, Husband Wife

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

topic: Funny, Marriage, Sarcastic, Humor Love, Jury

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

- Mignon McLaughlin

source: Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.32, BookBaby

topic: Love, Relationship, Anniversary, Husband Love, Husband To Be

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Love, Marriage, Secret, Husband To Be, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

- Mae West

topic: Love, Marriage, Single, Marrying Him, Great Marriage

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

- Mickey Rooney

source: "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. May 15, 2010.

topic: Marriage, Morning, Work, Humorous Valentine, Funny Valentines Day

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Funny, Relationship, Anniversary, Marriage Advice, Marriage Advice For Newlyweds

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be.

- Robert Browning

source: Robert Browning, “Rabbi Ben Ezra”

topic: Love, Anniversary, I Like You, Marriage And Love Inspirational, Marriage Speech

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

- Aristotle

topic: Love, Life, Positive, Say I Love You, Effortless

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

- Brad Pitt

topic: Men, Next Day, Wife, Funny Wedding Toast

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

- Evan Esar

topic: Husband, Fire, Funny Wedding Toast