Household Chores Quotes:

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

- Roseanne Barr

topic: Mom, Mother, Clever, Spring Cleaning, Chores

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Family, Mom, Mother, Spring Cleaning, Chores

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

- Evan Esar

topic: Inspirational, Home, Doe, Chores, Housework

The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes.

- Agatha Christie

topic: Time, Book, Memorable, Hercule Poirot, Spring Cleaning

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization.

- Ann Oakley

source: Ann Oakley (1974). “Woman's work: the housewife, past and present”, Vintage

topic: Inspirational, Self, Cleaning, Chores, Housework

My favorite way of getting out of doing chores is by acting like I'm asleep. But it never works.

- Devon Werkheiser

topic: Acting, Way, Cleaning, Chores, Household Chores

No one likes doing chores. In happiness surveys, housework is ranked down there with commuting as activities that people enjoy the least. Maybe that's why figuring out who does which chores usually prompts, at best, tense discussion in a household and, at worst, outright fighting.

- Emily Oster

topic: Fighting, People, Doe, Commuting, Household Chores

Many husbands today pitch in to help with household chores - it's called partnership.

- Abigail Van Buren

topic: Husband, Women, Today, Chores, Household Chores

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Ideas, Rooms, Glances, Spring Cleaning, Chores

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

- Mark Twain

source: Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.74, Courier Corporation

topic: Sarcastic, Somewhere Else, Advice, Housework, Household Chores

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

- Joan Rivers

source: Quoted in Michele Brown and Ann O'Connor, Woman Talk (1984)

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Women, Spring Cleaning, Starting All Over Again

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

- Bette Midler

topic: Ideas, Cleaning, Superwoman, Chores, Super Woman

Few tasks are more like the torture of Sisyphus than housework, with its endless repetition: the clean becomes soiled, the soiled is made clean, over and over, day after day.

- Simone de Beauvoir

topic: Tasks, Cleaning, Made, Marking Time, Chores

I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. But you have to be efficient if you're going to be lazy.

- Shirley Conran

source: Shirley Conran (1978). “Superwoman”, Outlet

topic: Lying, Secret, Lazy, Chores, Housework

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Years, Behinds, Eighteen, Chores, Housework

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller (2006). “Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy”, p.77, Penguin

topic: Funny, Hilarious, Witty, Spring Cleaning, Housework

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, 'Who could have done this? We have no enemies!'

- Phyllis Diller

topic: Doors, House, Enemy, Chores, Clean House

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

- Katharine Whitehorn

topic: Women, Taken, Clothes, Chores, Housework

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.

- Quentin Crisp

source: Naked Civil Servant (1968) ch. 15

topic: Funny, Kids, Years, Chores, Housework

By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.

- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

topic: Mom, Mother, Class, Empowering Women, Being A Mother

More fundamentally, it is a dream that does not die with the onset of manhood: the dream is to play endlessly, past the time when you are called home for dinner, past the time of doing chores, past the time when your body betrays you past time itself.

- John Thorn

topic: Dream, Home, Past, Chores, Household Chores

They shared the chores of living as some couples do-she did most of the work and he appreciated it.

- Paula Gosling

topic: Couple, Appreciated, Chores, Household Chores

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints (1966)

topic: Growing Up, Children, Silly, Spring Cleaning, Chores

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

- A. A. Milne

topic: Life, Cute, Science, Social Organization, Clean House

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

- Katharine Whitehorn

topic: Book, Mean, Management, Chores, Housework

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.

- Erma Bombeck

topic: Memorable, Terrorism, Oblivion, Tedium, Chores

I happen to like household chores and resent them only when performing them makes it difficult for me to fulfill my professional duties.

- Kay Boyle

topic: Duty, Difficult, Performing, Household Chores

I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.

- Shirley Conran

source: Shirley Conran (1978). “Superwoman”, Outlet

topic: Lying, Sofas, Housework, Chores, Household Chores

I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

- Scott Adams

topic: Wife, Legs, Jeeves, Women Bashing, Dishwashers

It is harder for women, perhaps to be 'one-pointed,' much harder for them to clear space around whatever it is they want to do beyond household chores and family life. Their lives are fragmented... the cry not so much for a 'a room of one's own' as time of one's own. Conflict become acute, whatever it may be about, when there is no margin left on any day in which to try at least to resolve it.

- May Sarton

topic: Space, Trying, May, Margins, Household Chores

At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived.

- Rose Macaulay

source: Rose Macaulay (1926). “A Casual Commentary”

topic: Life, Stress, House, Chores, Distressing

Feminists of my mother's generation argued that both mom and dad should work a little less and each do some of the household chores. My parents, for example, split everything 50/50. Even though my father is a terrible cook, he still made dinner exactly half the time.

- Emily Oster

topic: Mom, Mother, Dad, Household Chores

If a cow walked into this room, I'd probably walk out. I could milk it, but my dad never forced me to do a lot of chores like that, mostly because he loved doing it himself.

- Stuart Appleby

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Dad, Cows, Rooms, Chores, Household Chores