Carol Burnett quotes

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.
-- Carol Burnett

#Inspirational #Success #Letting Go

You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.
-- Carol Burnett

#Hate #Love You #Kids

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.
-- Carol Burnett

#Inspirational #Change #Attitude

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!
-- Carol Burnett

#Gratitude #Writing #Simple

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett

#Funny #Witty #Children

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
-- Carol Burnett

#Funny Inspirational #Thinking #Teeth

You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself.
-- Carol Burnett

#Fall #Order #Helping

I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's when I've really learned.
-- Carol Burnett

#Adversity #Wrestling #Work Out

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.
-- Carol Burnett

#Said

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.
-- Carol Burnett

#People #Laughing #Noses

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.
-- Carol Burnett

#Scar

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.
-- Carol Burnett

#Dream #Tables #Roof

Comedy is tragedy plus time.
-- Carol Burnett

#Life #Happiness #Time

We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
-- Carol Burnett

#Inspirational #Funny #Graduation

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.
-- Carol Burnett

#Voice #Goofy #Loud

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
-- Carol Burnett

#Life #Writing #Learning

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.
-- Carol Burnett

#Gun #Circumstances

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.
-- Carol Burnett

#Kindness #Selfish #Helping Others

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.
-- Carol Burnett

#Mean #Interesting #Meals

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.
-- Carol Burnett

#Fall #Waiting #Knees

there were times when I was more at home in front of millions of people than I was at home.
-- Carol Burnett

#Home #People

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.
-- Carol Burnett

#Timing #Wonderful #Dharma

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.
-- Carol Burnett

#Girl #Mother #Growing Up

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.
-- Carol Burnett

#Running #Grandmother #Eight

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.
-- Carol Burnett

#People #Impossible

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.
-- Carol Burnett

#Teamwork #Winning #Cost

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.
-- Carol Burnett

#Pain #Order #Joy

I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.
-- Carol Burnett

#Laughter #Careers #Choices

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
-- Carol Burnett

#Soul #Jokes

The audience is never wrong.
-- Carol Burnett

#Television #Audience

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
-- Carol Burnett

#Moving #Writing #Ideas

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.
-- Carol Burnett

#Wise #Writing #Thinking

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.
-- Carol Burnett

#Jobs #Losing #Never Regret

I don't eat much meat, fish, or poultry.
-- Carol Burnett

#Meat #Poultry #Fishes

I have a great memory.
-- Carol Burnett

#Memories #Great Memories

When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it's always "a big breakthrough" or a "radical departure." Why is is no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy? Are they presuming comedy is easier?
-- Carol Burnett

#Humor #Doe #Actors

I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out again now, maybe things would happen for me, but it certainly would not be on a variety show with 28 musicians, 12 dancers, two major guest stars, 50 costumes a week by Bob Mackie. The networks just wouldn't spend the money today.
-- Carol Burnett

#Stars #Two #Dancer

I think we're here for each other.
-- Carol Burnett

#Life #Thinking

If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett

#Pain #Pregnancy #Over You

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.
-- Carol Burnett

#Mother #Stars #Block

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.
-- Carol Burnett

#Jobs #Angel #Blue

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.
-- Carol Burnett

#Mean #Magazines #Tabloids

Comedy = tragedy + time.
-- Carol Burnett

#Tragedy #Comedy

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
-- Carol Burnett

#Inspirational #Teenage #Teens

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.
-- Carol Burnett

#Women #People #Dinner

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.
-- Carol Burnett

#Texas #Relief #Welfare

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away.
-- Carol Burnett

#Memorable #Long #Going Away

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
-- Carol Burnett

#Growing Up #Want #Astute

I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.
-- Carol Burnett

#Real #Laughing #I Am The Best

I liked myself better when I wasnt me.
-- Carol Burnett

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'
-- Carol Burnett

#Funny #Order #Measurement