College Drinking Quotes:

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Funny, Witty, Clever, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart

topic: Book, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

I drink to make other people more interesting.

- Ernest Hemingway

source: "How To Be Interesting: Simple Ways to Increase Your Personal Appeal". Book by David Gillespie, Mark Warren, 2013.

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Whisky, Ordinary People

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

- Ernest Hemingway

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Intelligent Man, Irish Beer

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Life, Atheist, Beer, Credulity, Just Believe

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Alcoholism, Funny Sarcastic

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

- Craig Kilborn

topic: College, Phones, Answers, Surveys, College Days

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Military, Taken, Drinking, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Funny, Drinking, Food, Brewing, Drinkers

College is like a fountain of knowledge - and the students are there to drink

- Chuck Palahniuk

topic: College Drinking, College Life

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

- Dave Barry

source: "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

topic: Fun, Drinking, Book, Ale, Lager

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

- W. Clement Stone

topic: Funny, Witty, Humorous, Lunch Break, Free Lunch

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Ale, Funny Sarcastic

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

- Henry Lawson

topic: Party, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

- Ogden Nash

topic: Drinking, Liquor, Candy, Funny Sarcastic, Perspiration

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

- John Belushi

source: "Fictional character: John Blutarsky (Bluto)". "Animal House", www.imdb.com. July 27, 1978.

topic: Drinking, Beer, Advice, College Drinking

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

- Dean Martin

source: In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

topic: Clever, Lying, Humorous, Alcoholism, Drinkers

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

- Frank Zappa

topic: Funny, Country, Football, Irish Beer, Brewing

I drink to make other people interesting.

- George Jean Nathan

source: George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

topic: Drinking, People, Interesting, Alcoholism, Liquor Funny

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

- Ambrose Bierce

source: The Devil's Dictionary

topic: Motivational, Drinking, Beer, Power And Control, Abstaining

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

- Dave Moulton

topic: Beer, Cold, Drinking Beer, Drinking Whiskey, Cold Beer

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Intoxication

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

- Robert Benchley

topic: Drinking, Beer, Comedy, College Drinking