Drinking Beer Quotes:

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Believe, Drinking Beer, Drinking Party

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!

- Leo Durocher

topic: Beer, Support, Six Packs, Support Groups, Whiskey Drinking

I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.

- Sid Vicious

topic: Love, Beer, Mirrors, Brewing, Light Beer

That's the problem with drinking, I thought, as I poured myself a drink. If something bad happens you drink in an attempt to forget; if something good happens you drink in order to celebrate; and if nothing happens you drink to make something happen.

- Charles Bukowski

topic: Drinking, Beer, Order, Drinking Beer, Drinking Problem

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Morning, Beer, Night, Drinkers, Whiskey Drinking

They who drink beer will think beer.

- Washington Irving

topic: Funny, Witty, Drinking, Drinkers, Whiskey Drinking

Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them.

- Queen Victoria

topic: Beer, Giving, People, Brewing, Drinking Beer

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

- George Carlin

topic: Humor, Beer, Men, Stupid Funny, Wise Chinese

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

- Ambrose Bierce

source: The Devil's Dictionary

topic: Motivational, Drinking, Beer, Power And Control, Abstaining

Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.

- Thomas Jefferson

topic: Cheer, Drinking, Beer, Brewing, Malt

I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.

- Miguel de Cervantes

topic: Drinking, Sometimes, Drink, Drinkers, Wine Toast

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

- Jack Nicholson

topic: Beer, World, Drink, Drunkenness, Drinking Alcohol

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

- Adrian Rogers

topic: Sorry, People, Feels, Sorry Men, Praiseworthy

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

- Brian O'Rourke

topic: Food, Fall, Drinking, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

- Wilhelm II

topic: Beer, Love Is, Giving, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

- Adolphus Busch

topic: Beer, Glasses, Matter, Brewing, Drinking Beer

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

topic: Inspirational, Baby, Motivational Sports, Motivational Bodybuilding, Drinkers

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Funny, Life, Drinking, Alcoholism, Funny Sarcastic

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Life, Atheist, Beer, Credulity, Just Believe

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

- Frank Sinatra

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

- W. Clement Stone

topic: Funny, Witty, Humorous, Lunch Break, Free Lunch

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

- Francois Rabelais

topic: Drinking, Thinking, Drink, Funny Sarcastic, Drinkers

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Witty, Work, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.

- Martin Luther

topic: Strong, Beer, Milk, Brewing, Drinking Beer

Homer no function beer well without.

- Matt Groening

topic: Beer, Ale, Funny Simpsons, Drinking Beer, Funniest Simpsons

Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

- Ray Bradbury

topic: Drinking, Beer, Intellectual, Drinking Beer, Beer And Love

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

- Dave Barry

topic: Drinking, Book, Beer, Ale, Funny Sarcastic

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Military, Taken, Drinking, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

- Winston Churchill

topic: Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic, Alcoholism, Funny Good Morning

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Drinking, Beer, Reality, Drinking Beer, Drinking Funny

He that drinks fast, pays slow.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Drinking, Pay, Drink, Brewing, Don't Drink Alcohol

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

- Raymond Chandler

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Liquor Funny, Don't Drink Alcohol

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.

- Rodney Dangerfield

source: "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Party, Drinking, Beer, Drank, Drinking Alcohol

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

- Benjamin Franklin

topic: Love, Inspirational, Funny, Ale, Lager

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Funny, Drinking, Book, Drinking And Driving, Drinkers

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

- W. C. Fields

topic: Food, Drinking, Beer, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

- Homer

topic: Kids, Beer, Son, Drinking Beer, Great Beer

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

- Lord Byron

topic: Drinking, Beer, Men, Alcoholism, Intoxication

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

- Drew Carey

topic: Funny, Sarcastic, Jobs, Liquor Funny, Support Groups

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

- Brendan Behan

source: "Brendan Behan Dies in Dublin", www.nytimes.com. March 21, 1964.

topic: Summer, Winter, Beer, Irish Beer, Irish Drinking

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

- Dave Barry

source: "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

topic: Fun, Drinking, Book, Ale, Lager

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.

- Humphrey Bogart

topic: Book, Drinking, Beer, Irish Beer, Brewing

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

- George Burns

topic: Clever, Drinking, Drunk, Liquor Funny, Drinking And Driving

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

- William Butler Yeats

topic: Food, Drinking, Men, Alcoholism, Irish Beer

When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

- Dave Barry

topic: Home, Winter, Beer, Brewing, Light Beer

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

- Henny Youngman

topic: Crazy, Book, Reading, Liquor Funny, Day Drinking

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

- Henny Youngman

source: Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

topic: Good Life, Drinking, Grandmother, Mother And Grandmother, Mother Grandmother

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

- Dave Moulton

topic: Beer, Cold, Drinking Beer, Drinking Whiskey, Cold Beer

There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.

- Hunter S. Thompson

topic: Beer, Thinking, People, Brewing, Malt

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

- James Thurber

topic: Drinking, Beer, Two, Liquor Funny, Drinkers