Funny Old Age Birthday Quotes:
You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo
topic: Birthday, Chinese, Scholar, Wise Birthday, Funny Birthday Wishes
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
topic: Life, Humorous, Play, Humorous Birthday, Witty Birthday
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
source: Joey Adams (1981). “Strictly for laughs”, A & W Publishers, Inc.
topic: Funny, Life, Birthday, Old Age Humor, Old Birthday
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
topic: Birthday, Congratulations, Age, Humorous Birthday, Inspirational Age
topic: Funny, Happy Birthday, Time, Milestone, Milestone Birthday
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Motivational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
topic: Happy Birthday, Funny Inspirational, Humorous, Humorous Birthday, Birthday Cake
The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
topic: Birthday, Men, Age, Spills, Funny Old Age Birthday
Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art.
topic: Birthday, Art, Age, Staying Young, Milestone Birthday
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Growing, Inspirational Age, Older People
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
source: Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books
topic: Cute, Birthday, Funny Relationship, Humorous Birthday, Old Age Humor
If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
topic: Birthday, People, Looks, Humorous Birthday, Fat People
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature
topic: Mind, Age, Matter, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
topic: Birthday, Age, May, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday, Ageing
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
topic: Happy Birthday, Wisdom, Silly, Old Jokes, Coming Of Age
source: Attributed in Bennett Cerf, The Life of the Party (1956)
topic: Love, Funny, Birthday, Husband To Be, Marriage Humor
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
topic: Birthday, Drinking, Wine, Vineyards, Oil And Vinegar
source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com. 
topic: Funny, Birthday, Memories, Memory Loss, Birthday Cake
Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese
topic: Funny, Age, Matter, Old Birthday, Funny Birthday
Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.
topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older, Humorous Birthday, Old Birthday
To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
topic: Birthday, Time, Years, Staying Young, Inspirational Age
source: 1609 Sonnets, sonnet 104.
topic: Birthday, Anniversary, Beauty, Four Seasons, 50th Wedding Anniversary
The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.
source: Twitter post from Feb 17, 2018
topic: Birthday, Happiness, Everyday, Old Birthday, Live Everyday
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
topic: Birthday, Witty, Funny Inspirational, Old Jokes, Celebrate Birthday
To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
topic: Birthday, Years, Age, Witty Birthday, Funny Old Age Birthday
I love everything that's old, - old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.
source: 1773 She Stoops to Conquer, act 1, sc.1.
topic: Love, Friendship, Birthday, Stoops, Old Time
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.
topic: Birthday, Friends, Cake, Humorous Birthday, Birthday Cake
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
source: Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)
topic: Funny, Birthday, Health, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.
topic: Birthday, Music, Voice, 21st Birthday, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday
One starts to get young at the age of sixty and then it is too late.
topic: Birthday, Fortune Cookie, Age, Milestone Birthday, 20th Birthday
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
topic: Birthday, Success, Nursing, Staying Young, Inspirational Age
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
source: "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.
topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Happy Children, Just Being You
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
topic: Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up, Humorous Birthday, Middle Aged
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
topic: Funny, Witty, Elderly, Inspirational Age, Old Age Humor
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
topic: Birthday, Age, Remember, Humorous Birthday, Witty Birthday
source: Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982
topic: Birthday, Missing, Mind, Humorous Birthday, Old Age Humor
topic: Birthday, Blow, Cake, Birthday Cake, Old Birthday
You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.
topic: Birthday, Men, Age, Milestone Birthday, Turning 40
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
topic: Birthday, Important, Age, Old Age Humor, Celebrate Birthday
We are always the same age inside.
source: "The American Treasury, 1455-1955". Book edited by Clifton Fadiman, p. 946, 1955.
topic: Happy Birthday, Confidence, Positive Thinking, Staying Young, Inspirational Age
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
topic: Birthday, Time, Wings, Birthday Cake, Old Birthday
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
source: Quoted in Garson Kanin, It Takes a Long Time to Become Young (1978)
topic: Birthday, Baseball, Fun, Staying Young, Inspirational Age
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
topic: Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Inspirational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young
All that I know I learned after I was thirty.
source: "And Madly Teach : A Layman Looks at Public School Education". Book by Mortimer Brewster Smith, 1949.
topic: Keys, Experience, Thirty, Milestone Birthday, Old Birthday
source: Thomas Bailey Aldrich (1907). “Ponkapog papers, A sea turn, and other matters”
topic: Birthday, Hope, Heart, Inspirational Age, Grandkids