Witty Birthday Quotes:

Youth had been a habit of hers for so long that she could not part with it.

- Rudyard Kipling

source: Rudyard Kipling (2016). “Plain Tales from the Hills”, p.208, Rudyard Kipling

topic: Birthday, Long, Youth, Witty Birthday, Young Birthday

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.

- George Santayana

source: Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies "War Shrines" (1922)

topic: Inspirational, Life, Birthday, Intervals, Birth Life And Death

Please don't retouch my wrinkles. It took me so long to earn them.

- Anna Magnani

source: "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. April 19, 2008.

topic: Birthday, Wrinkles, Long, Retouching, Old Birthday

Youth comes but once in a lifetime.

- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

topic: Inspirational, Life, Birthday, Celebrate Birthday, Witty Birthday

Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

- Bob Hope

topic: Birthday, Morning, Believe, Witty Birthday, Middle Ages

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.

- Malcolm Cowley

source: Malcolm Cowley (1982). “The view from 80”, Penguin Books, 1982

topic: Birthday, Missing, Mind, Humorous Birthday, Old Age Humor

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

- George Bernard Shaw

topic: Happy Birthday, Time, Children, Young Mother, Wonderful Experience

I love everything that's old, - old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine.

- Oliver Goldsmith

source: 1773 She Stoops to Conquer, act 1, sc.1.

topic: Love, Friendship, Birthday, Stoops, Old Time

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

- Brian Tracy

source: Philip Zimbardo, John Boyd (2008). “The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life”, p.264, Simon and Schuster

topic: Love, Inspirational, Acceptance, Love Grows, Love Acceptance

You've heard of the three ages of man - youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.

- Francis Spellman

topic: Birthday, Men, Age, Milestone Birthday, Turning 40

Its better to wear out than to rust out.

- Richard Cumberland

topic: Birthday, Rust, Labor, Old Birthday, Witty Birthday

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.

- Bernard Baruch

topic: Birthday, Years, Age, Witty Birthday, Funny Old Age Birthday

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

- Groucho Marx

topic: Time, Arrows, Fruit, Milestone Birthday, Infinite Time

You will recognize, my boy, the first sign of old age: it is when you go out into the streets of London and realize for the first time how young the policemen look.

- Seymour Hicks

source: In C. R. D. Pulling They Were Singing (1952) ch. 7

topic: Birthday, Boys, Age, Witty Birthday, 60th Birthday

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

- William Shakespeare

topic: Birthday, Happiness, Laughter, Happier Life, Birthday Cake

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!

- Dr. Seuss

source: "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Life, Happy Children, Just Being You

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

- Steven Wright

topic: Birthday, Friends, Sight, Witty Birthday, Funny Birthday

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

- Lucille Ball

topic: Happy Birthday, Beauty, Funny Inspirational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

- Phyllis Diller

source: Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

topic: Cute, Birthday, Funny Relationship, Humorous Birthday, Old Age Humor

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

- Herbert V. Prochnow

topic: Birthday, Wife, Way, Humorous Birthday, Husband To Be

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

- Jack Benny

topic: Mind, Age, Matter, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

- Norman Wisdom

source: "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Funny, Birthday, Memories, Memory Loss, Birthday Cake

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

- Oprah Winfrey

topic: Inspirational, Life, Motivational, Celebrate Life, Birthday Cake

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.

- Oscar Wilde

topic: Funny, Happy Birthday, Growing Up, Humorous Birthday, Middle Aged

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

- Erma Bombeck

source: Erma Bombeck (2013). “The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank”, p.135, Open Road Media

topic: Birthday, Marriage, Husband, Humorous Birthday, Quotations Birthday Happy Birthday

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

- Truman Capote

topic: Life, Humorous, Play, Humorous Birthday, Witty Birthday

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Getting Older, Humorous Birthday, Old Birthday

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.

- Maurice Chevalier

source: Quoted in James B. Simpson, Contemporary Quotations (1964)

topic: Funny, Birthday, Health, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

- Robert Frost

topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Carpe Diem, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

- John Glenn

source: "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

topic: Birthday, Friends, Death, Humorous Birthday, Milestone Birthday

You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.

- Germaine Greer

topic: Life, Happy Birthday, Happiness, Humorous Birthday, Mature And Immature

We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be.

- Lauren Hutton

source: "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

topic: Birthday, Growing Up, Wrinkles, Celebrate Birthday, Witty Birthday

Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

- Pope John XXIII

topic: Birthday, Drinking, Wine, Vineyards, Oil And Vinegar

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

- Abraham Lincoln

topic: Inspirational, Life, Motivational, Life Wisdom, Live Life To Its Fullest

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

- Mark Twain

topic: Inspirational, Funny, Motivational, Humorous Birthday, Staying Young

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

- Mark Twain

topic: Birthday, Age, Remember, Humorous Birthday, Witty Birthday

Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

- C. E. M. Joad

topic: Birthday, Wine, Turning 50, Oil And Vinegar, Best Wine

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

- Euripides

topic: Birthday, Mistake, Young, Humorous Birthday, Old Birthday