Dave Chappelle quotes

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!
-- Dave Chappelle

#Faces #Fingers

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Inspirational #Be True To Yourself #Being True

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Overcoming #Able #Realizing

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Work Out #Next Level #Levels

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Crazy #Worst

Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like "well I don't hate black people so I'm not a racist," but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you're privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven't been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Hate #Opportunity #Order

I don't want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God I hope it lands in Hartford, Connecticut.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Country #Korea #Land

I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Long #People #Failing

The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
-- Dave Chappelle

#World #Figures #Who You Are

You got to be careful of the company you keep.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Be Careful #Careful #Company

My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.'
-- Dave Chappelle

#Father #Names

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy who generates money, people have a vested interested in controlling you.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Stress #People #Guy

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #People #Comedy

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Greatness #Bears #Obsolete

Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday
-- Dave Chappelle

#Weed #Everyday #Hey

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he's not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn't even say that.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Winning #Thinking #Serious

I've done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Done #Television #Pilots

If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Moving #People #Losing Yourself

Stand-up is the kind of gig that'll show you where you're at.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Gigs #Kind #Shows

Being famous is great, it's not like bad or horrible or anything.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fame #Horrible

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Sports #Stress #Thinking

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Thinking #White

People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Wall #People #Standing

You've got to say 'yes' to your destiny. Life's happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live!
-- Dave Chappelle

#Meaningful #Destiny #Looks

Everyone around me says, You're a genius! You're great! That's your voice! But I'm not sure if they're right.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Voice #Genius #Not Sure

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it's not nothing, it's something," he continued. "But it's not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Suicide #Suicidal #Giving

There's not too many people that don't think I'm crazy, for walking away from so much money," he said. "I'm at a restaurant with my wife, it's a nice restaurant, we're eating dinner. I look across the room, I say, "You see this guy over here, across the room? He has $100 million." And we're eating the same entree. So, OK, fine, I don't have $50 million or whatever it was, but say I have $10 million in the bank. The difference in lifestyle is miniscule.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Suicide #Crazy #Nice

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Relax #Comedy

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fake #Too Much #Jokes

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Inspirational #Lines #Way

Fame for me is like a place, a country I'm taking a tour through.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Country #Fame

I care about the work I do. But I'm not going to say that money's not an issue.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Issues #Care #I Care

I don't care if I ever work in TV again.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Tvs #Care

Why is Dave Chappelle going to Africa? Why does Mariah Carey make a hundred-million dollar deal and take her clothes off on TRL? A weak person can not get here and talk to you. Ain't no weak people talking to you. So what is happening in Hollywood? Nobody knows! The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit. These people are not crazy, they're strong people. Maybe the environment is a little sick.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Strong #Crazy #Clothes

I would go to work on the show and I felt awful every day, that's not the way it was. ... I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I'm going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Awful #Way #Showing Up

Constantly take inventory of what's important to you.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Important #Inventory

There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Cathartic

There's a lot of people who don't want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. You see them at the show and they like - they dress up to come see your show and stuff. And they pack these auditoriums and it's a lot of fun, man. It's like, this is how I started, and it's still fun for me.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fun #Men #Laughing

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
-- Dave Chappelle

#People #Mind #Pockets

The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Higher

My generation is under-entertained.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Generations

If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn't work out, that's all I can do.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Work Out #Effort #Feels

My wife asked me once if I weren't a comedian what I would do. I couldn't answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Wife #Comedian #Answers

The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Leaving #Coming Back #Shows

I'm an introspective dude.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Introspective

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anybody - not anymore.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Past #Mad #Littles

I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fun #Drama #Want

America, I appreciate you liking me.
-- Dave Chappelle

#America #Appreciate #Appreciate You

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Weed #Bags

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Kids #Phones #Hands

I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Comedian #Ceo #Fourteen

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Overwhelmed

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Thinking #Racism #People

I love being famous - it's phenomenal.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fame #Phenomenal

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I'll walk away from show business. But I don't want to walk away empty-handed.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Children #People #Want

I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that... I don't know, it's just like magic.
-- Dave Chappelle

#People #Laughing #Magic

You can't get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can't get unfamous.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Infamous

The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Language

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.
-- Dave Chappelle

#People #Might #Today

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Real #Empowering #Important

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job interview.'
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Jobs #Black

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Fields #Approval #Comedy

I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Beautiful #Believe #People

I'm Dave Chappelle and I'm a chronic masturbator.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Comedy #Dave

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t
-- Dave Chappelle

#Dope #Causes #Life Is

They do what they do for money - that's all. I don't even know why you're listening to me. I've done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can't even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Differences #Listening #Pepsi

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me.
-- Dave Chappelle

#People #Negativity #Realizing

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I'm seven years late for work.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Years #Never Quit #Quitting

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those ***** four thumbs down!
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #Witty #Hands

I don't do drugs, though. Just weed.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Weed #Drug #Cannabis

Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention?
-- Dave Chappelle

#America #Attention #Medical

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Mean #Needs #Just Being

If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Teacher #Thinking #Salary

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Sometimes #Enjoy

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
-- Dave Chappelle

#People #Dollars #Certain

I got a lot of positive people around me.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Positive #People #Positive People

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Strong #Crazy #Sick

Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say 'their life' I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Mean #People #Interest

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you're interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Funny #New York #Men

When I'm on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that's the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
-- Dave Chappelle

#Real #Adults #Stage